Thursday, December 31, 2009


So if this guy just sang the guy's part I would say he's pretty sexy but the fact that he can sing the girls part believable and well just sort ruins it for me...that and the fact that he's singing a duet with himself.

Personal Victory

I was perusing on my lunch break and came across these beauties. They're on sale...50% size. It seems like it was meant to be. The stars align and I think of all the compliments I'd get on these shoes, how great they'd look with my black dress and then I slowly drift back down to reality and remember, even if they are 50% off, how often would I really wear these? How many other pairs of shoes do I currently have in my closet in this same color family? How often do I wear those shoes? Remember that budget thing? Crap. So I will just gaze and admire but know that these won't ever grace my closet and I won't ever see them with my black dress.


Monday, December 28, 2009

Winter boots

As anyone that has seen my closet or my feet in the winter time can tell you, I don't have practical shoes. I have heels, ballet flats, boots (heels with no traction), sandals, sneakers so old they get the idea. I've finally gotten to the point in my life where I will no longer buy a pair of shoes just because I like them. I am trying to get out of the mentality that I can buy a new outfit to match the cute shoes. Don't get me wrong, I love shoes and always will and I will continue to purchase cute shoes but I will first ask myself, how often will I wear these? Do I have anything to wear them with? Do they look like they will hurt my feet? If the answer is yes to two of those three questions, I am going to try my darnedest to put the pretty shoes back on the shelf. BUT if I need them, well...that's a whole other story.

You would think that after living in Utah almost my entire life, and having experienced 25 Utah winters, I would have snow appropriate shoes. I don't. I have a very hard time buying shoes that are practical because they tend to be less that cute. If I were smart I would design practical, cute shoes that don't cost a fortune. I don't know why someone hasn't thought of it before!

Too bad Santa didn't leave these under the tree for me this year.

Sunday, December 27, 2009

Christmas 2009

Christmas has come and gone and despite my back causing problems, I think it was a success. Christmas Eve was at my apartment this year. I had a lot of fun planning and preparing for the dinner. Growing up Christmas Eve was a big deal. We always had a delicious dinner and the dining room always looked beautiful. My mom would have some sort of centerpiece that was pretty and festive. We'd use the nice dishes and silver and everyone would like nice. No Jeans. Christmas has changed a little over the years. We've gotten a little more relaxed but in recent years I've missed the Christmas Eves of years past. But I thought this year was very nice. We had a delicious dinner (Pat became a man and carved his first turkey), sang carols and just spent time together. This was probably the best Christmas I've had in a long time.

Merry Christmas Everyone. Hope you all had a fabulous time.

Thursday, December 10, 2009

My thoughts for today...

8:15 am - You know it's cold when your nose hair freezes walking from the car to the building.

8:20 am - why! Why! WHY...did I lock my laptop in my desk and then leave the key at home?!?!? WHY!?!?!

9:35 am - when opening a carbonated beverage, it is probably best to not do so around expensive electronics...lesson learned.

10:39 am - it'd be pretty awesome if when they built our new workspace (cubicles, lighting, networking, etc.) they actually finished it before we moved down to the third floor. Instead we get to try to talk to students and make phone calls while surrounded by drilling, hammering and general construction chatter and clutter.

12:12 pm - Do you ever have one of those days where you try wearing something different (combining different things or clothes that you haven't worn in a while) and when you leave the house you think you look great but after wearing it for an hour or so, you feel frumpy, lumpy and/or generally uncomfortable and you make a mental note not to wear that particular outfit again...? That's me today.

1:26 pm - I think the reason I loved Cup of Noodles so much as a kid, besides the fact that I only got them when Ice Skating up at the Park City Ski Resort, is because it's the only time you could ever slurp something and get it all over your face and clothes and it didn't really matter. Unfortunately, that same logic does not apply to a working adult. Too bad....

1:27 pm - Surprising fact, mini kit kat bars are more popular than mint truffle Hershey kisses. Who'd of guessed?

3:16 pm - Another reason Cup of Noodles is better as a young thing - I am now hungry.

3:34 pm - Why is the last hour and half always the longest part of the day??

4:28 pm - I am currently using one headphone and answered the phone with the headphone ear. I think it's time for me to leave.

4:52 pm- Oh for the it time to leave yet?

Sunday, December 6, 2009

Shake it up

I'm a restless creature....sort of. Sometimes I will get the urge to just get in the car and go. Where? I don't know but I just want to go. I never do. You see, I have this thing called a job and I have rent and bills to pay every month. I would love to just jump on a plane and head to Europe or some tropical island or Asia....see something I've never seen before. It tends to come in spurts. I'll be fairly happy and content with where I am in my life but then BAM! out of nowhere, I get the urge to take off. Like now. I live a pretty good life. I have a great apartment, a good job, a plan for the future, good friends and family but I'm getting restless. I feel the need to shake things up a bit. Usually when I feel this way, I rearrange furniture. Problem is, there's nothing to rearrange. I have too much furniture in my bedroom - it won't fit any other way and I can't really rearrange the rest of the apartment as I live with someone. So instead, I'll just blog about it and try to find some way to channel my nomadic instinct.

Christmas Cheer

As of late I don't blog nearly as often as I used to. Sometimes I'll sit down to do it and I'll stare at the empty window of a new post and just draw a blank. I got nothin'. And since I'm not an entirely narcissistic and self centered person (not entirely) I wouldn't want to bore you BUT something happened this week and I think it's important to share....are you ready? It's December!!! It is the end of the 2009, winter and Christmas is upon us. There is fresh snow on the ground. Every time I walk into a grocery store I hear the gentle ringing of the Salvation Army bells. Santa, reindeer, lights and wreaths are everywhere. My apartment smells like Christmas thanks to the pretty pine tree sitting in my living room. I love the Christmas season. It is nearly impossible to not be happy. I love shopping for my loved ones and finding the perfect gift for them. More often than not, it is quite a struggle for me to not give it to them right away or at least tell them what it is. But more importantly, apart from all the commercialism of Christmas - the lights, the santas and food - we get to focus on the birth of Christ, our Saviour. A friend has been sending an email every day in December about Christ to help us remember the real reason for the season. On the 5th she sent this:

His hour had come. He was alone, yet among crowds of people. Alone He was, with eager angels waiting to comfort him. Alone with his Father in deepest sympathy, but knowing that his Son must walk alone the bloody and Tortuous path. Alone he had been in the garden- praying for strength to drink the bitter cup.

He who alone on the earth created the world and all that is in it, he who made the silver from which the pieces were stamped which bought him, he who could command defenders on both sides of the veil-- stood and suffered. What dignity! What mastery! What control! - Spencer W. Kimball (Ensign, Dec. 1980)

I love the commercial, Hallmark side of Christmas as much as the next person, but I hope this holiday season we remember the real reason for the season - Christ.

Saturday, November 28, 2009

New SYTYCD Favorite

I absolutely love Jakob!

Friday, November 13, 2009

Close to Home

Friday, October 16, 2009

Books and Such

I love books. I love being able to escape into a different world and forget about what's going on in mine if I need to. Of course, I read quite a bit and I have quite a few books than I have read more than once. As a Lit major in college I got credit for reading and talking about some of the greatest books in literature. It was a pretty sweet deal. As I have continued to read and expand my own library since college I have missed talking about what I've read. I recently met a friend of a friend that has a blog called Who's Afraid of the Big Bad Woolf? (It's Woolf not in Virginia Woolf. Get it? It's the simple things in life really). Anyway, it's basically a blog for people to post book reviews. After briefly perusing the blog, I've already found several books that I have added to my "to-read" list. I also have a profile on It's a cool website where you can build your own bookshelf and post reviews and can read others reviews. I've found several books that I know love from that website. Since I love books and reading so much, I've decided to share that with you all. It won't be every post but when I finish a book or come across a book that I particularly enjoyed I will give you all a heads up about it. It probably won't be a review a la Who's Afraid but it'll be my thoughts on the book.

So to start it off here are a couple of books that I have read lately that I thoroughly enjoyed.

1. The Nazi Officer's Wife
If you enjoy memoirs and are interested in WWII/Holocaust, this is a must read. It's the story of Edith Hahn Beer, a Jewish woman that grew up in Vienna. She was a young adult at the start of the war. She survives by marrying a member of the Nazi party who later becomes an officer. It's very well written and the story of her life moves at the perfect pace. I stayed up late to read the next chapter and then the next chapter. It was a very touching look at humanity and what we will do in order to survive. She is first forced to live in a ghetto and then into a labor camp. When she gets back her mother has been forced to the "east"...Poland and eventually death in a concentration camp. She goes underground for a brief period of time but then, with the help of a Christian friend she becomes a Christian woman and moves away from Vienna. She then meets and marries Werner Vetter, a Nazi Party Member. It's not graphic or violent as many WWII memoirs can be given the subject matter. It's a close look at it was like for countless Jews that were hidden in plain sight and the everyday terror that she and many others must have felt at a knock at the door, getting her weekly rations, clothing, etc. it.

2.The Hunger Games- Suzanne Collins
This is actually the first in a trilogy. The second book was recently published and I'm not entirely sure when the third will be completed. My coworker first got me interested in this book but when she told me what it was about I was seriously disturbed and I wasn't sure I was going to read it. Having read it, I really enjoyed it. It's a young adult novel. Following a rebellion, all of North America has been destroyed and it is now the nation of Panem. 12 Districts that are all controlled by the Capitol. The 13th district was utterly destroyed in the rebellion. In remembrance of the Uprising and to remind each district the control the Capitol holds over them the Capital hosts the Hunger Games. Each district sends two tributes, one girl and one boy ages 12-18, to participate in the Games. They are sent to the Capital and then they are all put in a huge arena that changes landscapes, traps, animals, conditions etc. every year. Once in the arena, they have to kill everyone off and the last person standing is the winner. So now you see why I was extremely unsure about this book but really it's very good. It's disturbing but I think it's supposed to be disturbing. You have to continually remind yourself that the characters you are reading about are just children. It reminded me a bit of William Golding's Lord of the Flies. This story centers on the two tributes from the poor, coal producing District Twelve. I can't say too much without giving away the ending but it's an interesting story and really pulls you in. If you look deeper you could find the social commentary but you don't need to in order to enjoy the book.

3. Tess of the D'Urbervilles - Thomas Hardy
I am actually currently reading this one. I started it quite a while ago but at the time, I had recently been on a "classics" reading spree and I just couldn't get through it. But now, I've been reading pretty "easy" books and decided it was time to have another go at Hardy. So far I've been enjoying it. It's not a book that you read just to get to the end of the story. You have to enjoy the language and the descriptions of what is going on. Hardy has a way of layering meaning on top of meaning. It can be difficult to get through but it's worth it, in my opinion, to persevere to the end. In Tess the title character gets into bad situations, gets herself out just to get into more trouble down the road. It's not her fault necessarily but it's not a real pick me up sort of story. In describing Tess's budding relationship with another character throughout the day, Hardy describes the rising and setting of the sun. He says

The gray half-tones of daybreak are not the gray half-tones of the day's close,
though the degree of their shade may be the same. In the twilight of the morning
light seems active, darkness passive; in the twilight of evening it is the darkness
which is active and crescent, and the light which is the drowsy reverse.

Hardy has a way of describing the world around the characters as a way of giving further illumination into the mind, life and emotions of the characters. I don't think Hardy is for everyone but I'm enjoying it. I don't think he'll make it to my top 5 favorite "classic" authors but I can at least understand while he's considered a classic.

So that was more than just one novel but don't get used to it.

Thursday, October 1, 2009

Makes me want to do a little two steppin'

My coworker found this today. It's kind of catchy.

Saturday, September 26, 2009

Cliff Notes Update

I haven't been an uber regular blogger of late. Life has been pretty busy and I'm sure you all have been devastated that you haven't been able to keep up to tabs with my life. So to help you cope with the loss, here's a quickie update of what I've been up to lately...

1- Started school. It's much more difficult than I had anticipated. It's hard to work 8+ hours everyday and then come home and put in 3 hours for least that's what I should be doing. It doesn't always happen that way. I am currently enrolled in the BA in Special Education with an elementary teaching license. After starting the program, I decided that I actually don't need a second BA and I don't want to spend 3 years getting a second BA. And after much deliberation, I also decided that I don't want to teach elementary school. I would rather teach high school. SO when my term ends (12/31/09), I will change my program to the Post Bacc in Social Science (5-12). It's not a Master's program but I'll get my license to teach Social Science for middle/high school. I feel good about this. And please...all you naysayers out there...please don't rain on my parade. I know it's a tough job market for teachers right now. I know this. I don't need you all to add to my stress and worries. I feel good about this decision, I've gone through the proper process to make said decision and it's my decision to make. Thanks for caring.

2- I went through the temple for the first time in early August. It was actually the week before I went on my cruise. I went through the Bountiful Temple and it was a wonderful experience. My older brother, Conor, was able to come in from Denver for a short visit. I hadn't seen him in quite a while...ever since they had moved to Denver. My dear, dear friend, Nicki, also was able to be there. She is currently in grad school back in Iowa but it turned out to perfectly coincide with a trip she was taking to visit her family in Logan. It was so great to have my family and friends surround me in the Celestial Room and see them all dressed in white. It was great to receive such love and support from unexpected quarters. I felt truly blessed that day.

3- I have rediscovered my love of music. I've always loved music. I grew up listening to my mother play the piano, taking lessons, being a part of my high school choir, taking dance lessons. I bought a piano several years ago but it was never tuned and after being moved several times and going through several winters, it sounded like an out of tune honky tonk was bad. I had forgotten what it was supposed to sound like. A friend of mine offered to tune it for me, free of charge. So I now have a piano that sounds like a piano! It's beautiful. I had forgotten how beautiful it is! I also joined the Institute Choir. We meet once a week for an hour and a half and we get to sing great music and feel of the Spirit. We have a musical fireside in November and then a Christmas Concert at the Assembly Hall on Temple Square. After going to choir for a couple of weeks I decided that I wanted to take voice lessons. Kind of random, I know, but it's actually something that I've always wanted to do but never thought it would be worth it because I never really thought I was that great of a singer. I sang because I loved it but I never that I was amazing. Honestly, I still don't. I'm not unrealistic about my ability and I know that I'll never be an amazing singer but it's fun and I know that I can improve and it will improve my experience and increase my joy.

4- I have been involved in planning a 5K for the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention (AFSP) this year. A very old friend, Ashley, lost her brother to suicide several years ago and since then she has gotten involved with AFSP. First in Florida and now in Utah. This is the second year we've had a 5K here in Salt Lake. It was this morning at Wheeler Farm. It was a huge success. We had more registrants and more donations than any other city in the western region. I got to get up at 5:00 this morning to get to Wheeler Farm to help set up. For any of you that have experienced me in the morning know, that a huge deal! I am NOT a morning person. It was a long morning but it was so great to see complete strangers come together to raise awareness for this neglected and somewhat taboo cause. In January - July of 2009 Utah had as many deaths caused by suicide than in all of 2008. It's a huge problem that no one discusses. We had particular difficulty getting any response from the media because "suicide is not an issue in Utah" presumably because of the heavy LDS culture. Obviously that's not true but it's what a lot of people actually believe. However, a news crew did show up from KSL and shot some footage and did a couple of interviews. We're working on getting an AFSP Chapter started in Utah. I am so proud of Ashley and all the work she put into making this happen. She is such an inspiration to me and I know she is a source strength for her friends and family. Her boyfriend actually proposed to her this morning after the prize raffle. It was so cute and I couldn't be happier for her.

There has been much more happening that I can't seem to remember but it's been a fairly busy couple of months. We have had birthdays, karaoke parties, massive dinner pot lucks, friends being endowed, ward campouts, mingles to plan, Halloween costumes to figure out, allergies to combat, Grey's Anatomy marathons, tears cried, decisions to be made. It's good. It's busy, confusing, difficult and wonderful. Life is good.

Thursday, September 3, 2009

This Kid has got some serious moves!

I don't know what's more funny...the booty slapping or the pointing eye thingy he does whenever he hears "lookin' at her"

Friday, August 28, 2009

Mexico Highlights Part II

Mexico Highlights..

Sunday, August 16, 2009

Things I love..

I love.....

1- my family
2- gooey brownies that stay soft after being left uncovered for a day or more
3- being taught the gospel by enthusiastic teachers
4- playing the piano on those rare moments I can feel it in my heart and soul
5- finishing a good book and knowing that I have learned something
6- the soft breeze on a cool summer night
7- a wonderful roommate that laughs at my sometimes bizarre behavior
8- being surrounded by my family dressed in white
9- meeting knew and interesting people
10- karaoke - the cheesier the better
11- falling into bed after an emotional and wonderful weekend
12- making a new connection with a new friend
13- singing harmony
14- a smiling face
15- the trace scent of men's cologne after they get out of my car
16- wearing a new dress and heels and feeling beautiful
17- taking off said new dress and heels and putting on the pj's
18- waking up after a restful night's sleep
19- dinner with friends
20- watching my young nephews play and laugh
21- inside jokes
22- new jokes with new friends
23- late night trips to village inn
24- turning in an assignment
25- writing in my journal
26- the slanting rays of sunlight shining through the clouds
27- cooking for friends and family
28- girl talk
29- getting "that feeling"
30- girl's night out
31- girl's night in
32- getting lost with a friend
33- rediscovering old interests
34- discovering new interests
35- knowing that I am a valued member of my family
36- knowing that I am a valued daughter of God
37- watching silly movies at the Dollar Theater (which is technically not a dollar anymore!)
38- getting "the look"
39- giving "the look"
40- perfect hair days...they don't come often but when they do, you can't help but be happy
41- buying new scriptures. They're unmarked and fresh and just waiting to be opened.
42- little hands reaching for mine
43- baggy sweaters
44- lying in bed on a rainy morning
45- thunder storms
46- snowy evenings spent in front of a fire
47- the smell of fresh bread
48- home made chicken noodle soup on a cold fall evening
49- driving with the windows down and the radio up
50- knowing the Lord has truly blessed me in my life and looking forward to the blessing yet to come
51- goldfish crackers
52- comically awkward evenings spent with friends
53- good men that know how to treat women
54- new furniture
55- classic movies
56- meaningful conversation
57- vacation/traveling
58- museums
59- roller coasters
60- seeing and placing myself in an eternal perspective.

It was a really great weekend with the family and some dear friends. I am tremendously blessed and fortunate.

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Breakin' the law, breakin' the law....

So I'm kind of breaking my quasi no late night blogging rule BUT it's only 10:15 and I'm not in my pj's yet. Plus, I've been thinking about this a lot lately and this is honestly the first opportunity I have had to blog.

I've been thinking about guilt a lot lately. Random, I know. But I am nothing, if not random. It's part of my charm. So guilt. It's kind of an ugly word and emotion. I have been feeling intensely guilty lately. Rationally I know it's completely irrational and that it's ridiculous to feel this way. Because I'm the word nerd that I am, I looked it up on This is what it says:

    1. The fact of being responsible for the commission of an offense. See Synonyms at blame.
    2. Law The fact of having been found to have violated a criminal law; legal culpability.
    3. Responsibility for a mistake or error.
    4. Remorseful awareness of having done something wrong.
    5. Self-reproach for supposed inadequacy or wrongdoing.
    1. Remorseful awareness of having done something wrong.
    2. Self-reproach for supposed inadequacy or wrongdoing
Hm....self reproach for supposed inadequacy or wrongdoing...

Life has been pretty busy lately. I'm working full time, going to school full time, I'm on the very active activities committee at church, I'm supposedly helping plan AFSP's annual 5K in Salt Lake this fall, I'm a friend, sister, daughter and roommate, I should be working out on a more regular basis, I'm getting my endowments and should be studying and preparing for that and then add in the mix just the normal social realities of a single 20 something woman. There simply are not enough hours in the day. Work has been particularly busy lately and I don't usually get home until 6:00 if I'm lucky. Today I didn't leave the office until 6:45 and didn't get home until 7:30. I have all of this going on and I feel incredibly guilty because I cannot do any of it to the full extent of my potential.

If I go out with friends I feel guilty for not studying. If I stay in and study I feel guilty because I didn't go out with friends. Our ward campout is this weekend and I'm going up for the evening on Friday but because I'm going to the temple I'm not staying overnight and I feel guilty for not being more social and helping the rest of the activities committee. It is completely irrational and stupid but I that's just how I feel lately. If I don't go to every single ward activity, fireside, mingle and dinner I feel as if I am somehow not fulfilling my potential and I'm never going to find a spouse! It's as if I can see myself from the outside looking in and it's ridiculous but it can't be stopped.

Those closest to me know that I need my "me" time. I need time to just regroup and get away from life and just hang a good a movie...take a nap. I need that time. It's crucial that I get this time but lately I feel guilty for needing that and taking that time. I'm being pulled in a million different directions and as a result I'm not doing anything to the best of my ability. I'm not being the friend that I want to be. I'm not being the best roommate I can be. I'm not doing all I can to work on my relationship with the Lord.

What about you guys? Do you have fits of inexplicable guilt or are you like my roommie and don't feel irrational guilt?

Thursday, July 30, 2009

Time Management

The problem with being scheduled back to back to back is that you have no room for error. Yesterday was the longest day I've had in a while. After starting perfectly fine twice, my car died in the Harmon's parking lot on my way to work. I was running early so I decided to stop and get a Jamba Juice. I called my sister and she packed up her young ones and came to jump my car. She gets there only to realize that the jumper cables are in her husbands car and he's at work. She drops me off at work and my brother comes to pick up some keys and we try to jump my car. No luck. After work we went over to my sister's and my brother in law - the wonderful man that he is - looked at it. They got it to start and drove it to my sister's where I was watching the children. I get in to go home and it won't start. Several hours and car parts later, they finally got it to start. They had to replace the battery and the battery cables. I didn't leave their apartment until almost 9:00. I didn't get home until about 9:15. I was so maxed out I just went to bed.

The problem with days like that when you are scheduled so tightly, is that it tends to overlap into the next couple of days. I was planning on getting some homework done last night and a few other things that I needed to get done but because of car issues I couldn't. So tonight instead of going to the Oquirrh (no idea how to spell that!) Temple open house, I had to stay home to do homework and bake and cook for the ward boating activity on saturday because I won't have any time to do it tomorrow because of my work schedule tomorrow. Trust me, you don't want to know.

But I am now far to tired to do any of the things I planned. I went to the grocery store bought Pillsbury dough and the cookies turned out a little gimpy. I also bought stuff to make oreos and pasta salad but did I make oreo cookies and pasta salad? Nope. Instead I ate some dinner, picked up my keys from my brother and went and bought a printer.

And speaking of buying printers....dude. I got the cheapest printer I could find. It was still $70. I then get to the register and the cashier tells me that I'll need an ink cartridge because the one included doesn't really do a whole lot. I go and get the ink cartridge. He then tells me that I'll need a printer cable because that too, isn't included with the printer. But first the guy tries to sell me a printer cable that comes with a two year printer warranty for $50. No thanks. I'll stick with my $20 printer cable. I of course had to buy paper and I also bought some highlighters. The grand total came to over $100!!!! Seriously?! They couldn't throw in the printer cable? or at least an ink cartridge that will print more than one piece of paper?!

But back to my original point. This week has been very long and I don't foresee it getting better any time soon. I am greatly looking forward to my cruise in a couple of weeks.

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Introducing the New and Improved Kelly

I started school the beginning of this month. I thought now would be a good time to make some changes to my life. I have had a rather tempestuous relationship with vegetables, basically my entire life. Sunday dinners used to be quite a traumatic event for me. I was forced to gag down my veggies, mostly broccoli. According to my mother, when I was very young, I used to love broccoli and orange ruffy (fish) - both of which I cannot stand anymore. I decided a couple of weeks ago I would try different veggies. I mean, there must be at least one that I like. I'll eat salads with some veggies on them but it's not a very wide selection. I have since tried broccoli (again), green beans, peas and yellow peppers. I can't say that I'm a huge fan of any of them. But, I'm still going to continue to try.

I also joined a gym. I got up at 7:45 on Saturday morning and signed up, paid my gym fees and actually worked out for about an hour. I then came home and made myself an omelet. Me, ms. anti morning woke up voluntarily at 7:45 on a weekend and went to the gym. I just want to make sure you all understand the magnitude of this action. I didn't go on Sunday but I went last night after work even though I was dead tired. I only did about 45 minutes because i needed to get home to do some homework.

AND this morning I got up early and went to the driving range with my dad. Other than mini gold, I have never golfed before. Let's just say that the dirt clods traveled farther than the golf balls. Despite my obvious lack of golfing experience, I actually had a good time. I'm pretty sure we'll keep going.

I also want to take Rock Climbing lessons. There's a three class course offered by Rockreation that I am thinking about taking. I probably wouldn't have time to do it until after my cruise but I think it'd be fun.

So, say hello to the new and improved Kelly. Here's hoping she sticks around.

Saturday, July 25, 2009

Oh What a day...

It's been a fairly productive day. I woke up at 7:45 this morning, thanks to the garbage truck outside my window, and decided to just get up. So I headed to the gym...the first time in who knows how long. Well, I know how long, but I'm not going to tell you - the point is, I put in a good hour at the gym this morning. I came home, made myself an omelet, i tried to make myself an omelet but it tasted pretty good. I then, with Lisa's help, started a project that would then take over the rest of my day.

I started school this month and I decided that I really need a desk. I also got my annual bonus last week and thought now would be a good time to purchase said desk. Seems like a fairly simple and straightforward venture. It is now 10:23 and Lisa is still working on putting my desk together. Yes, she's putting it together. I find it's easier to let her do it than help. She's good at it and just sort of takes charge and does it. Why are we still working on this so late? Why is my room in shambles, you ask? Well, in the process of moving my $15 Target bookshelf to the other side of my room, it broke. Books fell everywhere and the shelf was beyond repair. So we went to Ikea in search of a desk and possibly a bookshelf. I find a bookshelf, but not a desk and Lisa finds a really great Draft Table. HOWEVER, it will not under any circumstances fit into my small car. We call around to friends and family with larger vehicles and finally found someone that would/could let us borrow their car. We leave Ikea, without buying anything and stop to get some lunch on the way to University Hospital to trade cars with our dear friend, Megan.

We went to Zuppa's (so good!) but as I go to get my wallet from my purse to pay for my lunch, I realize that I don't have my wallet. It is buried under a mountain of books and odds and ends on my bed at home because I took it to the gym with me this morning. Lisa was kind enough to pay for my lunch. We drive all the way back to the apartment, get my wallet, double check measurements, go up to University Hospital, trade cars with Megan and head back out to Ikea. We had a slight detour to Target, Office Depot and Office Max before we actually made it back to Ikea. We purchase the bookshelf and drafting table and head back home. But before we get home we have to stop at Office Depot on 21st to pick up my desk because the location in Fort Union didn't have the desk I wanted in the store. Turns out this desk is approximately 150 lbs and it took Lisa and a store clerk to get it into the car.

We start calling around to guys we know to see if they'd be able to help us bring it into the apartment. We weren't having any luck until Lisa's friend responded and brought all his roommates. So almost four hours later...we're still not done and Lisa still hasn't put together her drafting table.

It's been a productive day but I need another day in my weekend.

Tuesday, July 21, 2009


The object is to copy & paste the list of "99 things" to a note & bold the things you've done!! You should all do it! It's quick & it brought back some funny memories!!

1. Started your own blog - obviously
2. Slept under the stars
3. Played in a band
4. Visited Hawaii
5. Watched a meteor shower
6. Given more than you can afford to charity
7. Been to Disneyland
8. Climbed a mountain
9. Held a praying mantis - I came back from class once and there was one on my pillow
10. Sang a solo
11. Bungee jumped
12. Visited Paris
13. Watched a lightning storm at sea
14. Taught yourself an art from scratch
15. Adopted a child
16. Had food poisoning
17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty
18. Grown your own vegetables
19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France
20. Slept on an overnight train
21. Had a pillow fight
22. Hitch hiked
23. Taken a sick day when you’re not ill
24. Built a snow fort
25. Held a lamb
26. Gone skinny dipping
27. Run a Marathon
28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice
29. Seen a total eclipse
30. Watched a sunrise or sunset
31. Hit a home run
32. Been on a cruise - italics because I will in a few short weeks!
33. Seen Niagara Falls in person
34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors
35. Seen an Amish community
36. Taught yourself a new language
37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied
38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person
39. Gone rock climbing
40. Seen Michelangelo’s David
41. Sung karaoke
42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt
43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant
44. Visited Africa
45. Walked on a beach by moonlight
46. Been transported in an ambulance
47. Had your portrait painted
48. Gone deep sea fishing
49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person
50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris
51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling - ask me in a couple of weeks!
52. Kissed in the rain
53. Played in the mud
54. Gone to a drive-in theater
55. Been in a movie
56. Visited the Great Wall of China
57. Started a business
58. Taken a martial arts class
59. Visited Russia
60. Served at a soup kitchen
61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies
62. Gone whale watching
63. Got flowers for no reason
64. Donated blood, platelets or plasma
65. Gone sky diving
66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp
67. Bounced a check
68. Flown in a helicopter
69. Saved a favorite childhood toy
70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial
71. Eaten Caviar
72. Pieced a quilt
73. Stood in Times Square
74. Toured the Everglades
75. Been fired from a job
76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London
77. Broken a bone
78. Been a passenger on a motorcycle
79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person
80. Have been published
81. Visited the Redwoods
82. Bought a brand new car
83. Walked in Jerusalem
84. Had your picture in the newspaper
85. Kissed a stranger at midnight on New Year’s Eve
86. Visited the White House
87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
88. Had chickenpox
89. Saved someone’s life
90. Sat on a jury
91. Met someone famous
92. Joined a book club
93. Got a tattoo
94. Had a baby
95. Seen the Alamo in person
96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake - sorta
97. Been involved in a law suit
98. Owned a cell phone
99. Been stung by a bee

Monday, July 20, 2009

Random Thoughts of the day

It's Monday and I am having a particularly difficult time concentrating on my work and not being super grumpy that I'm at the office instead of on some beach somewhere or an exciting new city. SO, to help keep me entertained and awake, I am going to let you all know what my thoughts are throughout the day. Think of it as one long twitter. I don't tweet. I don't need one more thing to help me procrastinate...but if I did tweet these would be my tweets throughout the day.

Hold on to your hats because, here we go....

11:54 am: just finished semi organizing my desk and realize that I need a larger desk. My current cubicle is slightly claustrophobic.

12:05 pm: brought leftover bbq pulled pork for lunch but ended up ordering chinese...i am such a sucker sometimes!

12:39 pm: Dear Student, please read your transcript thoroughly before calling and getting upset with me. Thanks.

1:11 pm: is not sure why I keep checking my gmail. I never get anything new or exciting.

1:38 pm: can hear the movie the guy on the other side of my cubicle wall is watching. Can't tell for sure what it is but sounds like there is a car chase.

2:34 pm: found out we get our annual bonus tomorrow and I am daydreaming about office supplies and a new desk for my room and rearranging everything. Don't judge. I like office supplies.

3:20pm: was quite possibly a life coach in my previous life.

4:09pm: just learned that all staplers are not created equal. Need to invest in a swingliner stapler.

4:52pm: thinks she will do a little shopping before going to the bridal shower tonight. She needs to psychologically prepare herself for the wedding-ness.

Friday, July 17, 2009


A - Attached or single?
B- Best Friend(s)?
i have a 'best friend' from every phase of my life since high school
C- Cake or Pie?
cake or even better..BROWNIES!
D- Day of Choice?
Friday - it's the end of the week and the whole weekend is ahead of you.
E- Essential Item?
Burt's Bees Lip Balm. I don't go anywhere without it!
F- Favorite clothing item?
Black H&M dress
G- Greatest Ambition in Life?
to teach my daughter(s) to be strong
H- Hometown?
Park City, UT
I- Indulgence?
expensive haircuts
J- Jan. or July?
K- Kids?
none of my own, sadly
L- Life isn't complete without?
family (not just biological)
M- Movies?
LOVE them...maybe a bit too much.
N-Number of bros and sisters:
4 (1 sister, 3 brothers)
O-Oranges or Apples?
oranges - already peeled not sliced.
P- Phobia or Fear?
someone breaking into my apartment at night (over active imagination)
Q- Quote? "
I feel like I'm a POW in the War against ignorance
R- Reason to Smile?
S- Season of Choice?
T- TV Show?
Gilmore Girls
U- Unknown Fact about Me?
i have food texture issues - if it has a weird texture i can't eat it
W- Worst habit?
i change my mind...a lot.
X- X-ray or Ultrasound?
x-ray, definitely
Y- Your favorite food?
chinese and pizza. I love me some pizza
Z- Zodiac Sign?

Monday, July 13, 2009

Does this make me a dork?

I am so excited for this movie! I know this scene isn't in the book but it looks good to me! I'm sure the movie is going to be sold out for weeks but I'm excited to see it.

Thursday, July 2, 2009

Doctor's Orders

Anyone that knows me knows about the love/hate relationship I have with my job. Over all, it's a pretty good job. It helps me pay the bills, put gas in my car, buy food and sometimes a little extra to have fun with. I have complete medical and dental coverage and a pretty good deal with eye exams and such. I have paid vacation time/sick leave, 403b with an employer matching program. All in all, it's pretty good. I've been there 3 years and I've proved myself and I have a healthy respect from my coworkers and managers/supervisors.

BUT and there is a but...I tend to work crazy hours every once in a while. WGU is a fully online, nationally accredited university. Obviously, we go about our education model a little differently. Part of that difference is, we start new terms every month. Which means, we have students starting new terms, changing programs, taking breaks, enrolling in classes, in mass, at the beginning of every month. What does that mean for me? Data entry....lots of data entry. It's not uncommon for me to put in 50 or possibly 60 hour work weeks around the first of the month. I come in early and work late at home. Most of the time I don't mind. It's part of the job. My job is to help student's succeed and progress through their program. They can't do that if their program change hasn't been processed, right?'s the first of the month and it's been a rough go around this time. Lots of questions, errors, missing information, IT glitches AND we have a three day weekend and the bi annual mentor meetings next week. Which means, mentors won't be readily available to set up their student's AAPS (courses for the next term) for the next week. Naturally everyone is panicking. I have been particularly stressed because I am the unofficial lead program changer person. I worked late last night and tonight as well.

So why am I telling you all this, seemingly boring and unimportant information? Because without it, you wouldn't understand the amazingness of my roommate. I mean, really...amazing. She went out this evening with a mutual friend (Hi Megan!). From what Lisa told me i thought they'd be home in an hour or so with my dinner. They don't get back for a couple of hours and then Lisa is all shifty when i ask her where they went/what they did and then she gets this sneaky smile on her face. The smile that says, she has something up her sleeve. Both she and Megan start giggling and talking very conspiratorially.

Again, for those that know me, know that i am a very impatient person. Lisa knows this and she started taunting me while on her computer doing something but she won't tell me what and then she prints something and goes into her room and I hear tape and scissors cutting paper. At one point she gets something from the medicine cabinet in the bathroom. And behold....

It's a prescription for "Employment Relief 800 MG Tablets"

The instructions say:
Take 3 Red tablets for Idiotic Questions
Take 4 Green tablets for Program Changes
Take 2 Yellow tablets for Mentor Issues
Take 5 Brown & 3 Orange tablets for positively no reason at all Repeat as necessary

Use Before Insanity Strikes
Refills are absolutely allowed - Dr. Auth Not Required

And she filled it with M&M's. roommate ever. And wouldn't you know it? they totally work!

Monday, June 29, 2009

Best Book Club EVER!

So Lisa and I have a new way to wile away the evening hours at home. You may laugh but much fun! As we were reading the other night our accents slowly morphed into something we had no control over. I think this would be the best book club ever. Everyone would come over in comfy clothes (pj pants, sweats, yoga pants..ect.) get all cozy with pillows on the floor or couch and everyone would choose a different character and trade off reading the narrator.

I think we're on to something here...

Saturday, June 20, 2009


This baby is cute for the approximately two minutes of this video but I'm pretty sure if she was my child I would get over the cute factor pretty quick.

Monday, June 15, 2009

So Beautiful!

Sorry the format is a little funky!

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

So Cal Photos

Baby Elm Tree Lawn

This is a picture that I've taken every time I've visited Scripps - interview, first day on campus, graduation and various visits. It's Scripps through the years. I'm not sure what I'm looking at.

So Cal (pictures to follow)

I got back from my trip to California this morning. We had to get up uber early to make our flight out of Long Beach at 7am. Sara lives in Burbank and we left her house a little before 5:00am to get to the airport, return the rental car and check in on time. We didn't get to sit together on our return flight and I was sitting between two chatty kathy's. I was clearly interested in my book and they wanted to know what i was reading, was it good, what was it about. If I had headphones I would have put them on. It was far to early for me to be conversational. The trip was a lot of fun. Sunday we got up early and went into Claremont to walk around Scripps. I love it there. Every time I go I am always amazed at how beautiful the campus is and how lucky I was to have gone there for four years. It was, and still is in may ways, my home. It felt great to walk around and look at the graffiti wall. I think they restored some of the older classes murals. It was cool to look at the murals from classes that graduated as far back as 1933. You could almost trace the history of the US through the murals. We were going to stop by Patty's (the most amazing hole in the wall mexican restaurant ever) but sadly, they were closed. That evening we went to a BBQ at Sara's parent's home in Tarzana. We swam in the pool, Lisa tried to take on a huge inflatable duck and lost, we ate wonderful food, sat in the hot tub. I love Sara's parents. They are such kind and generous people.

Monday was a little more relaxed. We didn't have anywhere we needed to be. We tried to go to the Getty Museum but it is closed on Monday's...go figure. We decided to go to the beach. The ocean was beautiful and freezing. We hadn't planned on going to the beach so we didn't have our bathing suits but we walked for a bit and put our toes in. Somehow Lisa stepped in some tar and had to use Comet to scour it off. We cooked dinner at home, talked, played a game of Celebrity (SO much fun!!) and turned in semi early. I love california and I love visiting but i don't think i could ever actually live there. I hate driving in LA. I can't even remember how many times we got on the wrong freeway or went in the wrong direction and had to get off and turn around. We were followed by two yahoo's in a black mitsubishi SUV. They were smiling and waving and trying to get our attention. Traffic was pretty busy and they were cutting people off trying to catch up to us. I don't know what they expected us to do. Shout our number to them and the other thirty or forty people within hearing. I am glad to be home. I got some sun...I am determined to have something of a tan this summer. I'm trying to get a base tan going so when I go to Mexico in August I won't be completely and totally crispy the first day there and I have to say I'm off to a pretty good start.

Wednesday, May 20, 2009


I love how Elisabeth Hasselbeck is the only Republican on this show. She is always arguing with all the guests.

Great news

I am not wasting any time in getting started on my teacher credential. I spoke with an Enrollment Counselor last night about enrolling in WGU's Post Bacc teaching program. I actually decided to go for a BA in Special Education (mild/moderate). Most, if not all, of my lower division courses will transfer because I already have a BA. I decided to go with Special Ed because it's more marketable, it would mean working with fewer students and I can also get my Elementary Education credential at the same time so it will give me more options. I am so excited to get started. I was going to wait until September to start because I wanted to wait until after my cruise in August but after talking with the Enrollment Counselor, who is also a WGU student, I decided to start in July. So I'm heading back to school July 1st. It will definitely be different and challenging in different ways but I am excited. If I work really hard, I could be done in two years, including my student teaching and I'll come out at the end with another BA. The plan is to work for a while after graduation and then go back for a MA in Education (emphasis to be determined later). And the best part is, since I am a WGU employee I get 75% off my tuition. Yes, you read that right. I will only have to pay $700 per 6 month term. Books will be extra but a lot of the texts are e-texts or have an e-text option. I'll still be using financial aid but I won't have to take out as much. For the first time in a very long time I am excited about my future. I won't be making a ton of money but I'll love what I'm doing.

Friday, May 15, 2009

Growing Up

So I wasn't ready to talk about it before but today I made the first step towards a grown up adult profession. I've had time to think and I took my sister's advice. It was good for me to get past all the emotion of it all and look at all my options. Up until now I have been considering a rather limited scope of possibility and opportunity. Shortly after I got my rejection letter I was having dinner with my mother. She told me to think about all my options and maybe consider something that I haven't thought about before. So I took her advice...(these Buie women are smart)...I have thought long and hard about what I love and what I am passionate about and I realized it wasn't as important that I get my Master's right this very second, eventually absolutely, but right now - not so much. What was important was that I continue my education in some way and further my career in the educational field. SO I set up an appointment with an Enrollment Counselor (EC) at WGU. I'm going to enroll in a Teacher Licensure program. I'm excited about it. If I work really hard I could be done in about 18 months. Unfortunately, I can't really hurry up the Demonstration Teaching (DT) portion of the program but really, 18 months, two years isn't that long.

So there you have it. The cat is out of the bag. I'm going to be a teacher.

Sunday, May 10, 2009

Going to the Temple...

Vince and Brynna got married yesterday morning in the Manti Temple. Their reception was at Talon's Cove in Saratoga Springs. Yesterday was entirely devoted to wedding activities. Lauren and I got our hair done by Frank (seriously love him!) at 11. We then came back to my apartment got a few last minute items together and then headed south. We had to stop at South Town Mall to get jewelry. We had a difficult time deciding what we wanted. I really didn't care too much but Lauren really wanted pearls and couldn't find anything that she really liked. We went to Macy's, JC Penny, bought some earrings at Dillards then went back to Macy's to buy different necklaces. We weren't matchy matchy they way Lauren wanted but we were both happy with out purchases. My necklace was $40 but i paid $9! Love sales! We then grabbed some lunch at the food court and then headed out to Talon's Cove to get the reception ready.

When we got to the reception site the tables were set up with chairs but that was it. We had to put all the rented table clothes, runners, chair covers, bows, centerpieces, candles, gift table, sign in etc. in a couple of hours. It turned out pretty well actually. I was pretty proud of us. Brynna and Vince were late to the reception, which i was pretty sure would happen. But they were happy and loved how everything looked so it all worked out in the end. I spent most of my evening making sure the bride and groom were happy and had everything they needed and making sure everything went smoothly. I surprisingly had a very good time. I didn't know many people there but I hung out with Lauren and a guy name Dru. He used to be in our ward but has since moved on. AND my sister's sister-in-law was there too. Random, no? She was there with a guy that knew Brynna. We did the bouquet toss (Lauren literally shoved me out of the way) and after Lindsey came up and said hi. So random. Nicki was there too. It was good to see her.

All in all it was a good night. Probably because I was sort of in charge...if i hadn't had something to do I probably would have been pretty bored. I even got asked to dance and really, what girl doesn't like that? I'm happy for the couple and I'm glad that it went as well as it did. Everything looked good, even if the cake didn't really match anything else. It was still a beautiful event. CONGRATS Brynna and Vince!

Lauren and I tied each of those bows. 10 tables, 8 chairs plus the 6 at the head table...oi.

My hair...Frank is the master.

This is the back of Lauren's hair...Frank strikes again!

Friday, May 8, 2009

Happy Birthday To Me

Yesterday was my 25th birthday. I had wanted to do something fun and exciting for my 25th. I mean, a quarter of a century...halfway through my 20's. Seemed like the sort of thing to commemorate, hence the cruise. Despite wanting it to be exciting, was a bit anticlimactic. I had been planning on being on a cruise up until last week. For months I was anticipating this fun and exciting adventure and then the swine flu turned out to be more of a blip on the radar but that blip happened to coincide with my cruise. I could have gone on a 7 day cruise to Jamaica and the Grand Cayman Islands but I'm in a wedding tomorrow. Right now I could have been laying on a deck chair, soaking up the sun.

Last minute I went to dinner with Lisa and Lauren and we ate brownies after. There was supposed to be home made ice cream but it didn't work. It didn't thicken and after about 40 minutes of churning it was still a liquid. The girls at work got me a cake and some flowers and had lunch with my family. It was nice. There was nothing wrong about yesterday...I guess it just seemed to pale in comparison with what I had planned. So...all in all, not one of my better birthdays. I am one year older, supposedly wiser and yet not that different from yesterday.

Thursday, April 30, 2009

Mary Tyler who...?

The girls at work call me Mary Tyler Moore. Having never watched the Mary Tyler Moore show I'm not sure what that really means or if it's a good thing. I'm going to go with it's a good thing.

So the pigs. I know it's not really their fault but I am really not liking pigs right now...or their freaky flu. I was supposed to go on a cruise to Cozumel, MEXICO and Progresso, MEXICO next week. Notice the past tense... supposed. Yeah, we're not going anymore. They changed our itinerary to a seven day cruise (our original booking was a 5 day cruise) to Montego Bay, Jamaica and Grand Cayman, Cayman Islands at no extra charge. Sounds wonderful, no? We were all set to go and then I realized that I couldn't go on a seven day cruise right now. I have to be back for the wedding I'm in. Lame, but no biggie. We could reschedule for June. We called this morning to reschedule but the prices go up in June and July so we have to wait until August to get the same price for the same cruise, 5 days, Cozumel and Progresso. AUGUST! To say I'm seriously bummed would be a huge understatement. Obviously we had to change our flights and there was a $106 price increase but who knows when we'll actually get it. Fortunately, Carnival will reimburse us up to $150 but it's the hassel of it all. We did each get a $40 credit while on the cruise...yippy skippy!

I was so excited to have my crazy, travel filled month of May and celebrate my birthday on a very large boat. We saw Wicked (SO GOOD!) on Sunday and it was supposed to be the kick off of a month of fun and adventure. Wicked, Cruise, Lisa to Portland, both of us to California at the end of the month. I changed my vacation days to the 11th-13th but I don't know what I'm going to do. If I want to drive anywhere I'll have to rent a car because my car currently won't go above 50 mph without shaking. Plus, i don't really want to go anywhere by myself. I could go to St. George but i'll have to pay for gas, hotel, car rental, food, I want to spend that money right now? I really want to take time off but I don't want to take it just to sit at home and I don't really want to go alone. See...? Bummed. big time.

Stupid stupid swine.

Thursday, April 23, 2009


It's not secret that I love to read. All you have to do is walk into my room and see the two rather large bookshelves stuffed to capacity and then some to know of my love of literature. However, I don't really enjoy reading my scriptures. Does that make me a bad Mormon? I love the Gospel and have a testimony of its truth but I don't get all excited to read my scriptures. I'm doing better at reading every night than I used to be but I don't look forward to it and sometimes i have a difficult time getting through more than one chapter. (don't judge. this is a judgment free zone) Having said that...I know that the scriptures are true. I know that by reading them I can and will receive the answers to my prayers. It is interesting how something that a prophet or apostle said thousands of years ago can speak to me and give me the direction and guidance that I need. It always shocks me how well the Lord knows me and He knows exactly how to touch me and guide me.

Alma 26:12

Yea, I know that I am nothing; as to my strength I am weak; therefore I will not boast of myself, but I will boast of my God, for in his strength I can do all things; yea, behold, many mighty miracles we have wrought in this land, for which we will praise his name forever.

Saturday, April 18, 2009

These times are a changin'

It's Saturday night and I am home alone. I read an entire novel tonight...granted, it wasn't a very long novel but I read the entire thing tonight. Lisa is dating someone. When people hear that my roommate and dear friend is dating someone, the first question usually is somewhere along the lines of 'how do you feel about that?' I don't really know him that well but from what I have seen/heard/observed, he's a good guy. He makes Lisa happy, which makes me happy. They haven't been dating for very long but it seems to be going well and I'm happy for them. It has gotten me to thinking about my own future. I've had plenty of time for thinking, Lisa's not around much. If I'm honest, not getting into Sarah Lawrence really took me by surprise and sent me reeling.

I was in Church the Sunday after I got my rejection letter and my nerves were pretty raw and I was still pretty upset. I had a really difficult time maintaining my composure through Relief Society (I was sitting by a couple of girls I didn't know and didn't really want their first impression of me to be an emotional one). I ended up going home for Sunday School and came back for Sacrament Meeting, thinking I had calmed down enough and I would be able to keep it together to sit through an hour long meeting. I couldn't have been more wrong. We were singing the Sacrament Hymn #169 "As Now We Take the Sacrament". I was fine until we got to the third verse. It says:

As now we praise thy name with song;
The blessing of this day will linger in our thankful hearts,
And silently we pray for courage to accept thy will, to listen and obey.
We love thee, Lord; our hearts are full. We'll walk thy chosen way. (my emphasis added)

I completely lost it. As I sat there silently weeping, Lisa put her arm around me and Beth gave me a Kleenex. I was and still am trying to make sense of my life. I'm trying to have courage to accept the Lord's will for my life. It's not easy and I'm a fairly stubborn individual so it's been a painful process. It was absolutely terrifying to put my trust in the Lord and have faith that all would end well and better than I could possibly imagine.

My sister was the first person that I actually talked to about not getting into Sarah Lawrence. Being the wise woman that she is, told me that I just needed to take some time before I worried about what my next step is going to be. She told me not to think about it until I get from my cruise. Well, that's been easier said than done...but I have tried to take her advice and I think it's been a really good thing for me. Because I haven't been, or at least trying not to, actively think about my future I have felt a little bit of peace. Don't get me wrong, I'm still processing and I guess you could say mourning. My life hasn't turned out the way I thought it would, but when does life ever turn out the way you thought it would. Anyway, ignoring my rambling, my point is I have taken Annie's advice and I am starting to see the glimmerings of a future and a plan for myself. It's something that may seem out of left field for some people and for others it may seem fairly natural. I'm not quite ready to talk about the particulars (i know, annoying, right?) but I'm moving forward. It's terrifying to move on to something almost completely unknown and put my trust in the Lord to get me through this. Sorry, that's all the details you get for now.

Monday, April 13, 2009

So this is the dress that I'm wearing for my friend's wedding. I think it's pretty. It is so much better than all the other dresses we tried on. The other two bridesmaids are a size 4. I am not a size 4. Dresses they looked good in did not look good on me. I am a bigger girl. I need me some structure! I may or may not wear it again but it's not bad, as far as bridesmaid dresses are concerned.

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

It's a sad day...

I'm selling my piano. I've said this before and it hasn't happened but this time I mean it. I need the money. It's kind of ironic. The piano sat in my parent's basement for a little over a year and didn't get much playtime because of the gorgeous Petrof Grand piano upstairs. I didn't play it much in my other apartment because I was worried about the neighbors, even though they were loud and obnoxious. I didn't start playing it until I moved in with Lisa. She doesn't mind listening to me play and she likes to sing along. It's gotten quite a bit of use in the past 8 months or so. BUT bills must be paid and I'm tired of coming up short every month and worrying about whether or not my rent check is going to bounce. So I'm selling it. If you know of anyone that is in the market for a gently used and greatly loved piano, let me know.

Wednesday, April 1, 2009


I don't know if I defeated the last brownie or it defeated me. It did not survive the day.

My tummy is happy but I hang my head in shame...sorta.


My downfall is not going to be caused by pride or anger or avarice or any other vice. No, my downfall will be caused by brownies. Wonderful, chocolaty, tasty, moist delicious brownies. I have no defense against them. I can't resist them. I don't make them very often for this very reason. Cookies, cakes, doughnuts, pastries, fancy chocolates I can turn down but I just cannot control myself when I come into contact with a brownie. Sunday I was having a bad day...a very bad day. (sorry for the gratuitous use of italics I'm feeling very italicy) So Sunday, bad day - I decided that I would make a pan of brownies to ease my sorrows and help with the wallowing. It's Wednesday and the pan is pretty much gone. There is a small little corner still left but i doubt it will survive the day.

I'm sure you have all be anxiously awaiting further details about the teaser of provided a couple of days ago. I know you have all been perched on the edge of your chairs, anxiously biting your nails for the exciting news that I would share with you.

I went to Einstein's last Friday on my way to work to get breakfast, just a quick bagel and some juice. They were pretty busy but finally it is my turn to order. I ask for my bagel, nothing on it (exciting, i know) and I move on down the line but the manager person (he was probably around 20 or least he looked that young) keeps walking down his side of the counter with me making really awkward small talk. Where do you work? A pretty girl like you should smile more... The people around me sort of started snickering and giving me that, "sorry this guy is hitting on you". So I get up to the register and he is still talking to me as the girl is ringing me up. I'm about to walk away and he thrusts a bag with another bagel into my hand. He says, "here take one for the road". Yes, I was already taking one for the road but he was trying to me suave. I look at him and I say, that's ok. I already have what I want. He insists that I take this bagel. The girl at the register gave me this look that just said, "ignore him and take the bagel". There was a long line behind me so I took the bagel and left. I got a free bagel from the manager of Einstein's on the corner of South Temple and E Street. Sort of made my day on Friday. That kind of thing doesn't happen to me very often.

I don't really remember what else I was going to tell you all about but it doesn't really matter. I'm sure it was very important and exciting but I don't remember.

Last night Lisa and I were talking. I was trying to convince her to go salsa dancing with me on Friday. I was invited by a girl in our ward. She's very nice but I don't know her very well and Lisa was invited but she was resisting...especially when I told her we would be going in Provo. Yes, P-town. To convince her to come I told her that she may be missing out on meeting her husband and true love and her happily ever after. What started as a short little scenario to get her to come with me turned it to me making up this whole story of her relationship with this guy, Shnifflehopper Smith, we call him Hopper for short. His mother was so out of it when he was born because of the epidural that she wanted to name him Stephen but it came out Shnifflehopper and his father wasn't there (he was on his way back from a business trip in Shanghai) so he couldn't correct it on the birth certificate and when they went to bless him instead of Stephen, it came out Shnifflehopper. After that his parents decided that if the Lord wanted him to be named Shifflehopper, who were they to say otherwise. ANYWAY, several hours later the story ended. It started out fairly silly and ridiculous (i mean, hello....Shnifflehopper?? He had a cousin named Derek Bloomlinger or something like that) but it ended pretty well.

Overall it was a fairly silly story but it reminded me how much I love story telling. I used to write stories in high school. Granted, they were all very silly and pretty embarrassing but I enjoyed it. I think that's why I chose to be an English major in college. I loved the stories and getting to know the characters. It was stepping into a different world and time and experiencing something new and completely foreign to me. I never took writing very seriously. I wasn't the writer in the family. That was my sister. But I used to love to do it.

Monday, March 30, 2009


So I'm not going to blog tonight but I wanted to give you all a teaser of good things to come... parts bagels
....lost and paperclips!

I know you're excited and you will be anxiously checking my blog for updates every five minutes until I explain myself! What's that you say...? You won't be anxiously checking my blog for updates every five minutes...? Well, that's just mean.

Friday, March 27, 2009

Blogging before bed...

...generally isn't a good idea. Blogging while in bed, probably an even worse idea but oh well. I find (and maybe it is just me) that I am more emotional and slightly irrational the later it gets and the more tired I become and all the late night rants (on here, to friends, in my journal) seem slightly ridiculous and melodramatic when read and remembered in the light of day - which explains why people say to "sleep on it" when making a big decision. So it's late-ish, i'm tired and i'm in've been warned.

I didn't get into Sarah Lawrence. I know, I'm announcing my failure on the world wide web - probably not the best idea. I figure we're all friends here, at least I hope and really, it's gonna come out eventually. I told my sister first..and when i say told, i mean i sent her a text message. I've been trying not to think about it and have been mostly successful. I've been pretty busy this week with work and helping friends plan weddings and such so i haven't had much time to think about it during the day. However, when i'm by myself, not focusing on anything in particular or trying to unwind and go to sleep, it's all i can really think about. I keep thinking that i've let people down. I failed at the one thing that i'm actually good at, or at least thought I was good at (see...? melodramatic, but at least i'm aware i'm being melodramatic). I haven't really cried about it, which i find kind of odd. When I was deferred for the early decision applicant pool for Scripps I was depressed for a while and i definitely cried myself to sleep for a couple of nights. And people may say, well, maybe you didn't want Sarah Lawrence bad enough and i don't think that's it. I've dreamt about this program and living in New York and moving on with my life for months. When i would look at my life for the next two years I saw so many wonderful and exciting things. Now when I look ahead i don't see anything. Nothing. My life is a complete blank. You would think that i would at least morn the loss of the future that I have dreamt of for the past six months. (before anyone comments how six months isn't that long, let me just ask you how many people you know that have gotten engaged and are married within six months)

I just don't feel like i've processed it at i just don't want to deal with it. I don't want to think about it because if i did that would mean i would have to accept the fact that i failed...yet again. I don't think people realize how often i feel like i have failed or i could have done better and this is yet another, rather public, example of my own failure. So now my future stretches before me - a vast expanse with no details (again, melodramatic). I haven't really talked about this with anyone. I sort of did with my mom but i just don't know how to verbalize what i'm feeling and thinking. I just want to close my door and stay in my room. I don't want to go out. And I don't want to feel guilty about doing that. I'm tired of trying to be what people think i should be and then feeling horribly guilty when i don't measure up.

I know this is melodramatic and i'll read this tomorrow and wonder why did i write it. I know that i'm tired and stressed and upset. I know that a lot of this response has to do with the fact that I haven't slept much lately because I cough most of the night. I cough so much that it triggers my gag reflex and my throat muscles are actually sore, not sore throat sore but muscle sore from coughing so much. I know i'll get through all this and i'll come out on the other end a better person and hopefully had a better experience than i could have dreamed. I know I have a Heavenly Father that is looking out for me and trying to guide me in the right direction. I know this. But right now, in this moment i just want to give up. I am tired of trying and running into brick walls. I'm tired of trying and getting doors slammed in my face.