Life goes on...

For the first time in I'm not sure how long...every room in my apartment is clean. It's an autumnal miracle! With Scott moving down here in a couple of weeks my mind has turned to organizing and purging. We'll be consolidating everything in just a matter of months and suddenly I feel the compulsive need to purge. I did a first pass with my clothes, but I think I'll take another go. I'm going through purses, shoes, scarves. If you're nearby and would like to take a gander at what I'm getting rid of before it's sent to DI, feel free. I've moved so often that sometimes things just get shoved into a box and they're moved from place to place and I may or may not ever use them. There's a possibility that we'll just stay in my current apartment after we're married. It's small - 500 square feet...we'll be cozy, for sure. But you just can't beat the rent, location (for me) and laundry is provided for free. So, we'll still look around, but we may stay here. And because it's such a small place, it's time to purge. I may even box up some of my books. My friend, Shannon, has graciously offered the use of some of her garage to store a few things.

In other, non-wedding(ish) news...I love teaching high school. It's a bit of a culture shock going from the amazingly supportive faculty to, what I imagine is, a normal high school faculty. It hasn't been the easiest adjustment, but luckily I've met some really nice people, and Steph is around to rant to. I love seeing my students from last year wandering the halls. I'm enjoying getting to know my new students. I think we have fun. We work hard, but we also have a lot of fun doing it. I had an interesting conversation with my admins yesterday about the next couple of years. I really feel like I can build a very solid, rewarding and successful career at OHS. I'm excited to see what the next five years bring.

It's definitely been a year of transitions and major life changes...and we still four months to go! It's been bumpy and I never really thought I'd be where I am at this point last year. It makes you think about the year to come. Hopefully there won't be quite as many changes as I've had this year, but I'm very excited to see what comes.

First World Problems...

Since moving to Ogden, I've been debating about whether or not I want to get the internet set up in my new place. As I'm currently writing this on my phone, it's evident I have not gotten internet yet. Now, I'm sure there are many out there experiencing a wee bit of shock. How can you live without internet??? What about Netflix? Hulu? Facebook? Random internet surfing? I'm starting to think I like not being quite so connected all the time. And, yes. I do have my iPhone and that lets me do the basics. But I guess the question is, do I need more? Right now I'm reading more, cleaning/cooking/organizing more, planning more. I may change my mind once summer rolls around, but for now, I'm cutting the cord.

Round 1

Today I signed the lease for my new place in O-town. When I started teaching in O-town I did not anticipate moving there. In fact, I said I didn't want to. Yet, here I am. It's not even two years later and I'm really excited about this move. I've moved quite a bit in the past decade - some moves were better than others. But this is the first move that I have been excited about since moving in with Lisa. My new place is itty-bitty tiny (500 ft) but it has a great view of the mountains and is in a safe neighborhood.

However, this move has had it's own set of challenges (don't all my moves?). Since I have lived with Lisa for so long and she had all the apartment "stuff"...I've had to beg, borrow and steal to get what I need. Well, that isn't totally true. Shannon has been so sweet and generous. She came home from Shopko the other day with a set of pots & pans and a toaster for me. She's also helping me out with a few other things...all without me asking. She's been incredibly generous and kind. I've had all kinds of lists running through my brain. I think I have everything I need to function in the kitchen. It's nothing fancy, but it'll do.

The living room is a whole other issue. I have four medium sized bookshelves, an old TV and TV stand given to me by Shannon, a smallish decorative office chair and a small side table. I have no real seating and I know four bookshelves sounds like more than enough. And for many people, that would be more than enough. However, I have a lot of books...a lot. I may need to get another bookshelf. I don't have a couch, coffee table or DVD player. None are terribly critical, but can be pricey. Because the place is on the small side, it's going to take some organizational help. Luckily, I have a mom that is a pro at this stuff!

All in all, I am very excited about this move. It will relieve a lot of stress and I'm looking forward to living alone. I have loved my roommates, but it'll be good to have my own space and my own home.

I *MUST* be crazy...

That's the only possible explanation, really. My to-do list seems to be getting shorter but the few things I've added lately are doozies! I was able to remove "find a job" (yay!) but I added "start new job" and "pack apartment" and "move to Layton" in its place. My mom is surely reading this and saying, "I told you to wait until after you graduate to move!" She's right. She did tell me that and she has a valid point. You see, I have this wonderful habit of moving at the worst possible moment. For example, I moved a week after having MAJOR surgery. This time last year I was moving during finals while sick AND planning a bridal shower for a dear friend. So it would seem par for the course that I would move while finishing my Masters and starting a new job...right?

The good news is we have found an apartment. And when I say "we", I really mean Lisa. I told her that since I chose such a winner of an apartment the last go around (and I'm crazy busy) she could chose the next place. We looked at a couple of places together and we some some....interesting...stuff. Our new place is in Layton and is part of a bigger complex. Yay for 24 hour maintenance!

We really could have waited until after I was done with school but I didn't really feel like driving to Ogden every day until the end of May for my new job. (Did I mention I got a new job? Because, I did. I'm a teacher!)

All in all, I'm just praying that I can make it through the next couple of weeks and then survive the rest of the school year. I'm excited but also completely terrified. I know I can do this. However, I also know this is going to be a trial by fire.

Thank you so much to those of you who have offered your support and offers of help. I appreciate it more than I can say. The diet coke runs, loads of laundry, making sure I eat (I'm like a toddler sometimes, I know), laughing with me when I wanted to cry, letting me cry, girls night out and girls night in. Really...all of it. You're all so wonderful!

Changes are a comin'

I have accepted a job teaching 7th grade at a junior high in Ogden. The teacher actually left in December and students have had a long term sub since then. I am starting next Tuesday! Eek! We'll do review for about three days and then students will be taking their end of year tests. I then get to come up with some brilliant end of year activity...woo-hoo! The school year ends the end of May and then I really get to get busy planning for next year. Amid all of this I am still finishing up my Masters and I'll be moving to Layton-ish. As much as I would love to make the commute to Ogden every day, my wallet does not want to cough up that gas money. So there you have it. I'm a teacher. I completed my paperwork this afternoon...it's official. Here I go....

The wild world in which we live

I haven't updated all month and quite a bit has happened and continues to happen. Instead of an in-depth update you're getting the Kelly's Update List of Might and Wonder. Yes, you read that correctly... Kelly's Update List of Might and Wonder. It's exciting stuff. So, without further ado, here it is...

• Finished and passed student teaching
• Completed screening interviews with seven school districts and the Catholic Diocese
• Entertained a very generous job offer from Duchesene School District teaching Special Education at Union High in Roosevelt, Utah
• Took a road trip to check out the YSA scene in Roosevelt...very young and naive
• Nearly died on said road trip due to lovely March blizzard
• Determined I cannot, under any circumstances, live in Utah County. The construction alone would negatively impact my health and driving record
• Received second job offer to teach at a junior high in Ogden, which I am still considering. (Yes, you read that correctly. I have gotten two job offers. I had two non-district interviews and both resulted in job offers. Just had to toot my own horn a bit. Okay, bragging done)
• I continue to work on finishing up my Teacher Work Sample, ePortfolio and other odds and ends in preparation for graduation this spring
• Casually and not so casually looked for a new apartment
• Got the oil changed on my car
• Made some really great new friends from my cohort
• Finally released from old calling and called as the Relief Society pianist
• Sang in Sacrament meeting with Shannon
• Agreed to sing in my parent's ward with Shannon and Lisa...although that won't be for a few more weeks
• Called for two interviews at local charter schools
• Purchased first ever suit to look appropriately professional for said interviews...I think it worked
• AND I'm going to see Hunger Games tonight with the sister and her hubby

All in all, it's been a pretty busy month and the upcoming months will probably be just as busy as I, hopefully, get settled in with a new job, new apartment and new ward. Maybe then I'll remember to blog a bit more...eh...maybe not.

Job Description

So my doctor is really irritating. She supposedly knows what she's talking about, I guess but that doesn't really do me any good if she doesn't tell me what's going on or explain it to me in layman's terms. I had some tests done May 7 and I still haven't heard back from her. I called her last week but she was in "session" but I left a detailed message with my phone number for her to call back and she hasn't yet. I called again this morning and left a voicemail at her extension and I have yet to hear from her. When she does actually call you or you're at an appointment, she explains everything on the molecular level in a really detailed, confusing way. I don't need to know exactly what the cells are doing or why they're doing it...just tell me what it means for me on a daily basis and how we're going to fix it. And then when it doesn't work or something changes, let me know what's going on. I'm annoyed and frustrated and I know this level of annoyance, irritation and frustration is actually a symptom of whatever is going on hormonally in my body and would/could be fixed if she would just call me back, but that doesn't really help with the actual emotions of the moment, now does it?

Isn't it part of a doctor's job description to communicate with their patient? I mean, what's the point if you don't actually treat what's wrong with your patient? Although, as far as fulfilling your job description...I haven't been such a great job at that lately. But in my own defense, I'm getting everything done that is supposed to be done...it's just that I don't have a ton of work to do. Today, for example...I answered my emails and did a few other things but I was done with that around 10:00 (I got in around 9:30) and since then I have been working on my resume, cover letter, getting references together and looking for jobs online. The sooner I get a job, the sooner I can move, the sooner I hope to regain some sanity.

I visited Sara last weekend in California and it only solidified my desire to move to California. It is such a different environment. It's laid back yet constantly moving. There are young people everywhere. People are out doing things. It's high energy. I actually went 72 hours without having an "in-depth" conversation about dating, marriage, or romantic relationships. We talked about books and music and family and our jobs! It was great! I forgot what that was like. On Monday, when i got back I went to lunch and a movie with Sarah (not to be confused with Sara) and it was the same thing. I miss these girls when they're not around. I am so glad that Sarah's going to be in Salt Lake this summer. I'll be able to get a little balance in my social life, hopefully. I'm excited to get going and it feels great to actually be doing something proactive. I hate the job search process but it's a good thing. It means change and that is something that I desperately need right now.

Think, my dear...THINK!

I've never been very good at that whole think before you speak thing. I tend to think out loud. Usually it's pretty harmless. I'll be watching tv with someone and they'll change the channel to something new and I'll ask, "what's this?" Why would they know what it is? they haven't been watching it. Or I'll ask a question that I really don't want to know the answer to before I can stop myself from asking it. It's something I probably should work on because sometimes it isn't so harmless. I'm a very emotional person in the sense that I feel my emotions very strongly and I can and do get carried away. I don't always look at things from a rational perspective right away...eventually, once I've had a chance to let the initial emotional reaction subside, I can look at situations rationally and deal with it but before I get to that point...the point where I say whatever pops into my head...that's where the danger lies. I don't generally say anything too bad or hurtful but it just turns out to be wrong. So it makes me look inconsistent, which I guess I am a little bit. But at least i'm aware that i'm inconsistent and i don't try to hide it...that makes it a little better, doesn't it?

I need to work on avoiding absolute statements and passing judgements on people and their actions. I don't know what's in their hearts even if I think I do. I can also be easily persuaded by my peers in subtle ways. If that makes sense. I'm adaptive to situation and the people around me. And it's not that I don't feel or think that way and I'm pretending to because that would be hypocritical and I can't stand hypocritical people. It's just that particular people pull out certain sides of my personality and feelings towards situations and people.

I had a pretty great birthday and people showed up that I didn't expect to show. I was wrong. I misjudged them and I shouldn't have. Again, it's this whole speaking before I think thing and thinking and getting hurt before I actually think. You know? Does this even make sense?

I talked to Sara on the phone last night...I dearly love this girl and really miss her. She's
A-MAY-ZING! She sent me the ultimate birthday package. It included three DVDs, candy, a small little teddy-bear (which was immediately appropriated by Aidan), a Disney Princess Magic Coloring Book, a cute polka-dot scarf and the cherry on top of it all...a pink Dirty Dancing tshirt. It has Jennifer Gray and Patrick Swayze on the front with the Dirty Dancing title across the bottom and on the back it says, "No body puts Baby in the corner". It's absolutely ugly but i love it! I'll never wear it unless it's to bed or something or for a photo op with Sara (she has one too). But what you have to understand is that Sara, her roommate, Catie and I were obsessed with this movie our freshman year in college. Yes...we were that cool. Anyway, she called last night to wish me happy birthday and there's a pretty great housing opportunity for us in North Hollywood. Her parents have some friends that are being transferred to Switzerland (??) and they need someone to stay in their house for the next 5 years or so while they are gone. It's a three bedroom house in North Hollywood. They would be leaving most, if not all, of their furniture, Sara says it's a beautiful house, nice kitchen. And they're more interested in finding someone they trust than in making a lot of money, so the rent wouldn't be too expensive. Now it's LA so "expensive" is a relative term. But if they want Sara to move in and the price is right, I'm totally game. It would be Sara, Katy and I. How fun would that be!?!? Sure beats living in my parent's basement!

Happy Birthday to Me!

Yes...this day, 23 years ago the world was forever changed. Today is my 23rd birthday. Last night we had a birthday dinner with the family and both Pat and I opened presents and we had cake. We both made a big deal out of the fact that we didn't actually get to choose our "birthday dinner" meal as we usually do but we didn't really care...at least I didn't. It just got a rise out of my mom. I know, aren't we precious. But it was a nice meal. We had steak and potatoes, salad, sauteed mushrooms and yummy yummy rolls. There was, of course, cake and ice cream. Pat got money to buy clothes...you don't buy clothes for Pat. It just ends up badly. And I got a clock/radio/alarm clock/ipod speakers thingy. It's pretty cool. I also got a DVD from pat and a Barnes and Noble gift card. It was a pretty good birthday and tonight Nikki is having an impromptu birthday something at her apartment tonight.

I have to say I'm a little disappointed with my other, supposedly, "closer friends". Not too shocked but disappointed none the less. One wasn't sure when my birthday was and the other had forgotten it was coming up. I'm not sure if either of them will be there tonight. I'm trying really hard not to be hurt or upset but I've been pretty angry lately with one in particular. I don't want to be angry but I've really been hurt and it's hard to get over that. I'm trying but it isn't very easy. They can show or not show...I'm done fretting about it...or at least I want to be and I'm trying to be. I do have some pretty great friends, regardless and that's what I choose to focus on.

I'm not moving south with Rebecca and Kristen. We went to look at apartments and condos and such and they were very nice and I liked them but then I remembered that I would have to live in Sandy or Draper and I wasn't too excited about that. So Kristen and Rebecca are still going to move south, sans the third roommate. They were okay with it, for the most part, but even if they weren't, it wouldn't change my mind. Is that bad? I just really like where I am right now. I love my ward and being downtown. I have a great commute to work. And if I'm going to be able to afford London next fall, I need to be saving as much money as I possibly can. So for now, the plan is to just grit my teeth, hunker down at my parents and save, save, save. We'll see if my sanity can handle that but it's probably for the best.

It's Vacation time..

I am having the hardest time focusing on anything of any importance lately. I need to go on vacation and luckily i wll...next week! YAY! Next week Rebecca and I will be going to California for four days. I am so excited, I cannot even tell you! I really need this. My ability to focus at work has steadily declined. My parents are randomly going to Paris next week and I am so jealous! They're staying in the Latin Quarter, a couple of blocks from the Musee D'Orsay and across the river from the Louvre. I'm jealous, jealous, jealous. I loved Paris and really want to go back. But i will have to content myself with Southern California for now. Which, really isn't too shabby.

I went to the dentist this afternoon. I'm finally done with everything. I had two fillings on opposite sides of my mouth so my whole mouth is numb and it was a really long appointment so my jaw hurts. It's awesome. I feel like i'm constantly drooling (i'm not) so i keep wiping my mouth. I look like i have an OCD twitch or something. It's awesome. I'm also really hungry and won't be able to eat for a couple of hours because i'd probably be more likely to take a chunk out of my cheek or my tongue.

Rebecca, Kristin and I are moving closer to getting a place. SO exciting. We have an appointment to look at a Condo/Townhouse in Sandy. With three of us paying rent we can afford a pretty nice place and we're moving to the Sandy area because it's the middle for all of us. Kristin works and goes to school at the U and Rebecca is starting at UVSC (now UVU) this fall in Orem. AND I work at about 40th South. So it's ideal for me. I'll probably be closer to work and if not, i won't be farther away...i'll just be 20 minutes in the other direction. We found this place on Craigslist that is pretty cute and we have an appointment to go look at it tomorrow night. We're also looking at apartments and such, would be tons cheaper but not as much room. Anyway, I'm excited. Rebecca's lease is up the end of May and Kristin's is up first week of June, so I'll probably be moving the last weekend of May. EXCITING! YAY!

Works every time...

I was supposed to move out this weekend but for various reasons I am no longer moving in with the intended roommate and I am still occupying my parent's basement. Needless to say, I am less than thrilled with this situation. We had the whole family up tonight for a family dinner and we were sitting around after and some people had left and I guess my mom was still cleaning up the dinning room - I thought it was clean. My dad comes in and says, 'girls - your mom is still working'. Not kids or boys, or guys or any other combination of neutral pronouns/name(s). Annie and I both look at each other, roll our eyes and I say, 'why not- kids, your mom is still working'. We both get up and start to help and he says it again - 'girls help your mom'. So i repeat, 'kids - help your mom'. He comes into the dining room and says, 'no- i think the girls should do it'. I stopped what i was doing, turned around and went downstairs to my room. It was either that or get into an argument. There was a time where I would have stayed and fought it out with him. He knows how to push my buttons and he does it all the time. I think sometimes he does it on purpose. And if he knows it bothers me when he says things like that, you would think he would stop doing it, but no. It's always "funny" because he gets a reaction out of me so he keeps doing it. I try not to react and that's why I went downstairs tonight but it just makes my blood boil when he talks like that. He does it because he gets a reaction out of me but he also does it because he actually believes it. He'll say something and sees it gets a reaction so he keeps pushing it.

I am done. I am so done with all of this.