Are we there yet...?

*Disclaimer* 

I love my job, really I do. It has simply been a very long, very stressful, very emotional week for me. Most of the time, the good stuff far out weighs the bad stuff. The two lists may look disproportionate, but the value on the good will always outstrip whatever difficulties I may have faced.

Reasons this week needs to be over...

1. Parent Teacher Conferences - two 13 hour days back to back, need I say more?
2. Unexpected Admin observation
3. One student flipped out at me in class. He later apologized and told me a close family friend had been involved in a gang shooting the previous night. The family friend was in critical condition at the hospital and not expected to make it.
4. Another student refused to work and was really upset. Turns out his mother may have cancer, he had heart surgery in the last six months and lost his father when he was 6. 
5. Bus duty...worst after school job ever...
6. Grading essays for 6 classes
7. Grading short stories for 37 students
8. Trying to get time in the computer lab and failing miserably
9. Having a minor meltdown in front of a co-worker
10. It's supposed to snow during the morning commute tomorrow
11. Tension headache won't go away
12. Students could not/would not listen and follow directions all week

This week wasn't all horrible...

1. During bus duty students all laugh, joke around with me and say goodbye. An admin commented on how much the students seem to like me
2. Struggling students (two mentioned before) were able to discuss issues with me - this wouldn't have happened with them last year
3. Ending each day with a happy, fun class
4. Two self-proclaimed anti-readers, wanting to take home Night to read it over the weekend
5. I work with awesome teachers and we watch out for each other
6. Monitoring the hall during passing periods and getting compliments on my dress

Debbie Downer...

So I know I've been a bit...or a lot...of a debbie downer lately. I've been stressed and anxious and confused. I've been grumpy and generally unpleasant to be around. I'm sorry to one and all that I've snapped, grunted or ignored. In an effort to turn that frown upside down, here are the happy things that I have going on...

1. I was able to find another teacher at my elementary school that is willing and able to help me with my Assessment project. HUGE relief! She's even willing to work on the weekend at her home because she knows how hectic my weeks are.

2. I have roommates that have been kind and listened as I've grumbled, ranted, cried, hyperventilated, and procrastinated. They're wonderful.

3. Lisa has brought me lunch at work on Saturdays...granted, she's been borrowing my car so it's a bit of a trade off, but I appreciate it.

4. A member of my bishopric (leaders of an LDS congregation) has repeatedly offered to help organize help for when Lisa and I move in about three weeks. He's been so kind and generous.

5. It's official Hilda is no more. RIP Hilda. As if I didn't need one more thing to worry about. But my wonderful father has been looking for cars for me online and he's doing all the grunt work for me. I seriously don't know what I'd do if I had to worry about that too.

6. We've found an apartment to live in. And yes, it's stressful to think about packing and moving everything right now, it's good to know that I've got a place to go to AND a couple of weeks to get it all there.

7. I have a wonderful mother that has offered to help me pack, unpack and clean in relation to all the moving. I seriously have the best mother ever...seriously. She makes the stress of moving not quite so stressful.

School is stressful and I worry about getting it all done in the next month or so but I don't have the crushing, heart gripping anxiety that I've been experiencing. It's a lot but somehow it seems a bit more manageable. I am very blessed to have wonderful people in my life that put up with my crazy stressed out, goldfish brain memory, antics.

You all are wonderful.

Oh dear...

So do we all remember this post in which I talked about how badly I wanted a new car? I love Hilda, she's been wonderful to me but we've outgrown each other. Yet, even in all my dreams of 'graduating' to something newer, I never thought it would potentially mean such a violent end for Hilda.

I was driving home from work last night at about 11:15, as I usually do. I was thinking about my lesson for this morning (it went really well, by the way) and thinking of all I needed to get done in the coming weeks. As I drove through the intersection of 900 East and 17oo South, a woman driving east on 1700 South ran her red light and broadsided me. Fortunately, she was only going about 20 mph, and we were both able to walk away from the accident.

UNforuntately, Hilda was not so lucky. The majority of the impact was the back driver side door but the driver's door was still pretty dented. Once I was able to shoulder my door open and get out, the door wouldn't shut. The back door had bowed away from the frame of the car and, thought it was still shut, there was about an inch between the top of the door and the rest of the car. Hilda was loaded up on a tow truck and hauled away.

Hilda, being advanced in years, may not be able to be saved (She's almost 20 years old. I know, in human years that's not so much, but in car years...it's getting up there. Think about it like Dog years...that's 140 years!). The repairs may cost more than the insurance adjuster thinks she is worth.

I won't find out until Monday if I need to find a new car or if Hilda and I get a few more years together. I have to say, I'm somewhat torn...

Love or Not love

I love...

• walking out to my car in the morning, looking through the trees and seeing Orion perfectly framed by the branches (yes, I leave early enough to still see the stars clearly)
• learning a new skill
• exploring my inner craft goddess
• crispy leaves
• Mint Moose Tracks Ice Cream
• engaging in interesting discussions on topics I am passionate about
• listening to the ordered chaos of a lively family dinner
• new socks

I do not love...

• waking up long before the sun comes up
• the lock of the driver side door of my car is broken and I have not had the time/energy to deal with it yet
• allergies that make my nose red and raw
• the days seem to get away from me

Roses and Thorns

Roses
Spent the morning taking photos of my shoes with my sister. She's making me a shoe calender. I know, she's pretty cool.

Got to see Audra McDonald in 110 in the Shade...pretty sweet.

New shoes really do fix most problems.

I am a matter of weeks away from being done with my first term of grad school.

I get to go to Bear Lake next weekend.

Went to Lagoon last night.

I absolutely love my Curriculum Design class.

I may buy new bedding tonight...I love bedding, books, and shoes. It doesn't take much to make me happy.

Thorns
My right eye has been twitching since Thursday
No more boy.

I've had the same headache since Monday.

I've got a two big curriculum projects due on Monday.

I've had Bad Romance by Lady Gaga stuck in my head since last night.

Roses and Thorns

When I was a Peer Mentor in college we would have our Team Lead meetings once a month and we would always start with Roses and Thorns. It was a way for all of us know get a brief look at what was going on with each other. Here are my Roses and Thorns for the past month-ish

Roses
I was complimented several times on my hair and outfit today

Finished a good book

Started new job responsibilities - just one job this time!

Found cute new duplex

Start school in a couple of weeks

Spring has finally arrived after a freak spring snowstorm

Had consistent, fun, rewarding voice lessons

Great friends have volunteered to help with the move - without bribing!

Went to a musical fireside and got to listen to great music - with a great bass section. :)


Thorns
Have painted 3.5 rooms in the past week - 2 more to go

Surrounded by boxes stacking in every corner

Have had strange dreams about moving and not being able to find my new place

Start school in a couple of weeks

Worked 50-60 hour work weeks