Tuesday, April 3, 2007

The Gift that keeps on giving...

You know, the wonderful thing about migraine headaches...? They just keep on giving. They're very selfless in that way. I felt a pretty nasty one coming on last night as I went to bed so I took half a lortab (i know...bringing out the big guns) and went to bed. I woke up this morning will a dull ache behind and above my left eye. By the time I got to work it was a full blown headache - not a migraine but not just your annoying, run of the mill headache either. It'll probably go on like this for a couple of days. What joy!

Lately I've felt like my world is going to pieces. That sounds terribly dramatic and I don't mean it to, I just don't feel like I have any control over what is going on. Work is still crazy. Not being at my desk for most of last week put me behind, training jackie takes time, and I just can't seem to bring my mind into focus. It seems cluttered and I can't manage to clean up the mess. Lately home is...interesting. When I get home from work, I never know what I may find. A happy family? A disinterested family? An upset, hurt, angry family? I'm looking forward to moving out in a couple of months. It won't make the problem go away and it won't stop me from thinking about it and worrying about it, but i won't actually be living it either. Friends are equally as "interesting". All I can say is that i'm so glad that I didn't have to have that particular conversation last night. I don't think I could have handled it. My nerves and emotions were too raw. I was too tired. Instead, I went out to dinner with Kristen and Crystal and then we walked around Gateway for a while. It was a great evening until my head started to pound and it felt like there were a million cross-dressing little demons wearing stiletto heels and using jackhammers in my head.

I need a vacation. Bad. I can't wait to go to California in a couple of weeks. I really need a break and time to regroup. Life has been coming at me from all sides lately and i just need time away from it all.