So sorry...

I've meant to blog several times over the past month, really I have. There's been stuff at work that's been difficult, I went to a really awesome Young Adult Literature conference (heaven for book nerds like me!) and many other things that I have meant to blog about, but have now forgotten about.

I guess the lack of blogging could mean that I'm out enjoying my life or something like that...?

Today is Christmas Eve. I've been looking forward to spending my first Christmas with Scott for months now. Yet, in all the scenarios I imagined, never did I expect to be sick. I've had a cough coming on for a couple of days, but Monday night it took on a life of it's own. We're talking chest-cracking, lung spasming, muscle clenching cough. Combined with a fever over 100*, dizziness, aches, congestion and nausea. It's been a fun couple of days. Yesterday I felt like taking a shower and thought the hot water and steam would help clear up some of the gunk in my chest. Note to self and anyone else out there that may try this...taking a hot shower when you already have a temperature over 100* is not a good idea. I got over heated, nearly threw up and almost passed out. I had pins and needles all over my body and I couldn't control my limbs. Scott basically had to carry me to bed. Luckily, once in the relative frigid temperature of our bedroom, things went back to normal. Nearly scared the living daylights out of us, though.

We have had a Christmas miracle, though. Other than a lingering cough and a little stuffiness, I'm feeling worlds better today. Which, means we'll still be able to go spend time with the family tonight and tomorrow.

While this was not how I anticipated spending my first Christmas married, I think we'll both look back on this as a good memory. Even though I've been feeling miserable and exhausted, I am so grateful for the sweet husband that has been taking care of me the past couple of days. Scott's patience and love the past couple of days have reminded me of the true reason for Christmas and why we celebrate. Christ was and is the best gift we could ever hope to receive.

Merry Christmas folks from the Borens! May you enjoy your time with friends and family and remember the reason for the season.

Check, Check...1,2....

It's really hard for me to grasp that Thanksgiving has come and gone...December is just around the corner...2014 is quickly coming to a close and I've definitely dropped off with this blogging thing.

November has been a super busy month. We've been working on rearranging the tiny apartment to fit two people comfortably. So that translates to us tearing apart the apartment weekend...all in the name of organization. We're getting closer to being finished, I think...I hope. But I imagine when we finally get it to a place we both like, we'll move. We're not actively looking for a new place at the moment, but I know we won't stay here for forever. 500 square feet is perfectly acceptable for a single gal, it doesn't really work as well for two. But we're making it work and it's starting to feel more like home for both of us.

Scott's getting settled into work. I think he likes it...for the most part. I know he doesn't particularly care for the drive, but I think he's getting used to it. He's timed his schedule so he misses the the really heavy commuter traffic and he gets home about the same time I do, which is nice.

Work has been...difficult for me the last month or so. We've been hitting argument writing pretty hard and I think I may have pushed my students a little too much because student behavior has been off the charts nuts. But, that can also be explained by a number of things...the holidays are upon us, shift in the weather, they're teenagers. I've also been bored. I teach the same thing every single class period. That means I teach the same lesson for two days straight with the A/B block schedule. Last year I taught two classes, was on productivity (no planning period every other day), department chair, leadership team, Academic Bowl coach...I was busy. I'm not busy in the same way. And I'm not saying that I want to be that busy again, but I wouldn't mind a little more variety to my day. Hopefully next year I'll be able to add a new class to my schedule.

We've been married for less than two months. It's kind of funny because two months seems like too short, but there will be times when I look at him and think "is he really my husband?" "Am I really married?" It's a bit surreal at times. I imagine that goes away with time, but I hope the little flip I get when I see him never goes away.

Thanksgiving was low key for us this year. We went to Idaho Falls and spent some time with friends and family up there. I made out like a bandit at Book City used bookstore...12 books for $20! Pretty great. He knows how to make this girl happy!

Thanksgiving in Idaho Falls - so grateful for this sweet man!

He experienced Hobby Lobby and was super excited about the Star Wars box...we did not go home with it.

All in the name of "organization"

It turned out pretty well. The books still need to be organized, but that can wait.

Best kind of Black Friday shopping...50% off all books. Umm, yes please!

My loot...(The Moonstone, Gone With the Wind, David Copperfield, Little House on the Prairie, By the Shores of Silver Lake, Trumpet of the Swan, Pamela, Island of the Blue Dolphins, Anne of Ingleside)

Bestest of Best...

I'm a pretty lucky girl. It's been a madhouse in the Boren Household for the past several weeks. We've both been working full time, Scott has an almost 2 hour commute every day, I'm "working" on my ESL endorsement and we're trying to rearrange our itty-bitty tiny apartment to fix two people. It's been go, go, go since Scott showed up in Utah a little over a month ago.

Amid all the chaos there is this goofy, sweet man that I have married. This morning I woke up feeling a more than little under the weather. He made me Belgian Waffles (Lisa's super yummy recipe, found here) with fresh whipped cream and strawberries and has just been generally sweet. It's sort of crazy to think we've only been married for three weeks and change. He really is the bestest of best husbands.

Photo Credit: Annie Jarman Photography

Full circle...

Today was the first date Scott and I chose as our wedding day. We then skipped around to a couple of different wedding dates before deciding on January. I love that we decided to get married around the time of our original wedding date. This past week has been a roller coaster of emotions, but I love being Scott's wife. Perhaps it was naive of me, but I was surprised by how much a piece of paper and saying some words in front of family and friends changed things. I've married a funny, patient, handsome, smart and hardworking man. Life is pretty good, my friends.

Sadie, Sadie, Married lady!

At 3:00 in Memory Grove on October 10, 2014, I made the best decision of my life and married the love of my life, Scott. As many of you know, we had originally planned a January wedding, then thought about the 25th of October and then on Sunday decided to just get it done and get married on Friday.

When people hear our story, they either laugh or shake their head in disbelief. It is a rather fantastic story. The really wonderful thing is, other than being married to Scott that is, this is exactly the wedding I wanted. We both wanted something casual and outside and that is exactly what we got. It was an absolutely perfect day. Lisa made it down from Idaho Falls; Scott's best friend, Seth, was able to make it. There were some family members absent in person, but they were able to listen in. A friend of my parent's also surprised us by filming the entire ceremony! So, we'll be able to send it out to family and friends that weren't able to make it.

All in all, it is a day that I will treasure. It's only been two days, but being Scott's wife has made me so much happier than I even thought possible. I thought I loved him before we got married, but being married to him has been so much more than I thought possible. It sort of takes my breath away...

Take two...

So, I got home from work this afternoon and started to pen a rather heated, albeit totally warranted, rant. I still think it has merit and I may finish and post it at a later date, but after spending my evening at a church activity and then with Scott, I think there is something much more important I need to share...

Note...you are under no obligation to continue as what follows could be deemed, by a select few, to be smarmy, cheesy or overly Hallmarky (yes, I made it an adjective, deal with it).

I feel so incredibly fortunate and blessed to be loved by Scott. We both have our quirks and scars, but I don't think I could ever find a man that is so naturally giving and loving. His first inclination is to love and support. He's intelligent, funny, and handsome to boot! He's not perfect and I'm most definitely not perfect, but he's perfect for me.

Turns out that I have a tendency to get caught up in my job (wonder of wonders, right?) and I need to do better and prioritize my life. I also have a tendency to pull back when I come up against difficult situations. It's almost like emotional triaging. All the extra "stuff" gets shut down and I detach. I'm starting to realize that I can actually lean into him. It's sort of strange for me to have someone that will always put me first and I, in turn, will always put him first. It's taking some getting used to, but I thank the good Lord for bringing this man into my life, and giving me the good sense to grab onto him when I had the chance!

Praise!

The past two days I have been walking around in a bit of a daze. Scott is actually here! He was just sitting on my couch. We read our scriptures and prayed in person! We got to talk IN PERSON! For anyone who hasn't ever survived a long-distance relationship, you have no idea what an amazing and momentous occasion this is.

In other momentous news, we finally set a date! We will finally become husband on wife on January 17th, 2015. It is almost exactly one year to the day we first started talking. Rather fitting, don't you think?

Exhale...

It's finally happened...Scott is here! He's here...just a few blocks away at this exact moment in time. I'm going to spend the day with him tomorrow and then the day after that too! And when I come home from work on Monday, I'll get to see him again! After over two months apart, it's something out of a dream to have him here. Now it's time to get down to business with all this wedding nonsense. Let's get it done!!

Does this match...?

Growing up I was forever asking Annie this question. When I was little I had very...distinct sense of fashion. We have photographic evidence.

Exhibit A

This was my favorite outfit. I think it made my parents cringe every time I pulled it out of the closet. It is still the topic of family jokes almost 25 years later. In fact, while shopping at Kid-to-Kid with my sister, my mother found a very similar outfit for a toddler and bought it as a joke for my future daughter. I have no idea if she still has it or not. I was a slightly spazzy child and my sense of style matched that. Usually my mom picked out clothes, but for whatever reason, she agreed to purchase this particular outfit.

Anyway...as I grew up, the bright colors and peplum skirts and shirts drifted away and I was forever asking "Does this match...?" or "Does this look good...?" As an adult I've figured out how to match my own clothes, thank heavens. However, I still get anxiety when buying clothes for special occasions. I just can't make the decision myself. I drag someone along with me to ask "Does this look good...?" 

You're probably wondering why I'm even talking about this. Well, in a few months I'll be getting married and there is no more important dress in a girl's life than her wedding dress. Thankfully, that's been taken care of. But now it's what do the bridesmaids wear? Do I even want bridesmaids? What about the rest of the family? Flower girls? What about the men? Do I want them all in matching shoes? Matching ties? Holy crap! Make it stop!! I had a difficult enough time finding a dress for Lisa's wedding and it really didn't matter what I wore! Now I apparently have the final say on what a whole host of people are going to be wearing?! Wha...?? I know what I would like...in general terms but the moment someone offers a differing opinion I'm suddenly in a spiral of fashion self-doubt.

I do know that I don't want a mishmash of people trying to match but not really pulling it off. I just want the whole thing to look nice. The clothing is causing me major anxiety, though. It's silly, isn't it? Of all the things to stress over, I'm worried about what my potential, possibly not even happening bridesmaids may or may not be wearing. 

Bless, Scott...really. 

Book Reviews

With the marked decrease in work related stress this year, I've actually been reading for fun again. It's mostly been YA fiction, and to all the YA haters out there I'll just say this...there's a reason, other than the built in audience, that Hollywood keeps making YA novel film adaptations. It's been a while since I've posted a book review, so I may be a bit rusty, but here are two books that I finished this week and thoroughly enjoyed.


Revolution by Jennifer Donnelly

This is a book that I bought years ago but it got lost in the shuffle of so many moves and ended up buried on my bookshelf. I don't want to summarize the plot because it'll just sound weird. So, here's what the back cover says. "Andi Alpers is on the edge. She's angry at her father for leaving, angry at her mother for not being able to cope, and angry at the world for taking her younger brother, Truman. Rage and grief are destroying her. And her father has determined that Andi's accompanying him to Paris over winter break is the solution to everything. But Paris is a city of ghosts for Andi. And when she finds a centuries-old diary, the ghosts begin to walk off the page. Alexandrine, the owner of the journal, knew heartbreak also, and Andi finds comfort in the girl's words. Until, on a midnight journey through the catacombs of Paris, words transcend paper and time, and the past becomes suddenly, terrifyingly present."

Once I started reading, it wasn't a book I wanted to put down. It wasn't the obsessive, reading until 2 in the morning kind of book, but I found myself thinking about the story throughout the day. Andi is an angry senior in high school, struggling to keep her head above water. I actually found it refreshing to read a story with a less than perfect female protagonist. In fact, all of the characters are deeply flawed. And while the ending finds Andi on firm ground once again, not all conflicts between characters are resolved. Everything wasn't wrapped up in pretty bow. There was a little language, but overall I'd say it was mild.

Rating...3/4 stars


eleanor & park by rainbow rowell

I have been hearing about this book for a while now. It keeps popping up on various must read YA Novels book lists. It's set in 1986 and it's about two 16 year olds, Eleanor & Park...(original title, yes?) This is a book that I stayed up until 1am reading last night and then finished this morning. One reading list said that if you enjoy Romeo & Juliet, you should read eleanor & park. I see where that comes from, but disagree. They're not star-crossed lovers, no one dies and no one gets married. It is about falling in love for the first time and dealing with the social pressures of being a teenager. Eleanor's home life is a minefield. She's harassed at school by the popular girls and has built a protective barrier around herself. Park is half Korean and doesn't feel like he fits in at school or at home. They bond over comic books and 80's punk music. There are some definite mature themes in the book - particularly when dealing with Eleanor's home life - and there are some more mature scenes between Eleanor and Park, but nothing explicit. The language is definitely more R rated. I was surprised by that, but eventually saw that, for some characters, it was a realistic expression of emotion and circumstances. Some characters, I felt the language was unnecessary. . I think my favorite thing about this book is that the character's aren't perfect and they're not artificially flawed. The walls Eleanor puts up between herself and Park are a natural consequence of the life she has lived. I finished it this morning and I was a little angry because I felt like I wanted one more chapter, but I also understand why it ended the way it did. If you liked The Fault in Our Stars or anything else by John Green, I'd say you'll like this book.

Rating 3.25/4 stars

Pardon my dust...

As Scott and I were talking last night I started to think about where I was at this time last year. Man! My life could not be more different. I had just ended a relationship that had gotten scary serious, scary fast. I was living in North Salt Lake while working on O-town and not really liking the commute. I was physically run down, emotionally drained and not really sure what I was going to do next. I wasn't particularly social and was trying not to get too depressed with my life and, for the most part, failing spectacularly.

Fast forward 12 months. I have changed jobs, apartments and cities. I am down one superfluous organ. I have the most amazing group of friends. I've met and fallen in love with a man that could not be more perfect for me, and he'll finally be here on Friday! It's hard for me to believe it, actually. I haven't seen him in almost two months...two months!! 

But for all of these changes that have happened...amazing, wonderful, life-altering changes...I still have quite a bit of work to do on myself. Loving Scott has made me want to be more loving, kind, and compassionate towards others. This is something I thought I was fairly good at, but I've recently realized, I need to do better. I can to better. I'm grateful that I'm marrying a man that makes me want to be a better person and just by being who is, encourages me and challenges me to do better. Turns out falling in love teaches you a lot about who you are instead of who you think you are. As it so happens, those are two very different people. 

Life goes on...

For the first time in I'm not sure how long...every room in my apartment is clean. It's an autumnal miracle! With Scott moving down here in a couple of weeks my mind has turned to organizing and purging. We'll be consolidating everything in just a matter of months and suddenly I feel the compulsive need to purge. I did a first pass with my clothes, but I think I'll take another go. I'm going through purses, shoes, scarves. If you're nearby and would like to take a gander at what I'm getting rid of before it's sent to DI, feel free. I've moved so often that sometimes things just get shoved into a box and they're moved from place to place and I may or may not ever use them. There's a possibility that we'll just stay in my current apartment after we're married. It's small - 500 square feet...we'll be cozy, for sure. But you just can't beat the rent, location (for me) and laundry is provided for free. So, we'll still look around, but we may stay here. And because it's such a small place, it's time to purge. I may even box up some of my books. My friend, Shannon, has graciously offered the use of some of her garage to store a few things.

In other, non-wedding(ish) news...I love teaching high school. It's a bit of a culture shock going from the amazingly supportive faculty to, what I imagine is, a normal high school faculty. It hasn't been the easiest adjustment, but luckily I've met some really nice people, and Steph is around to rant to. I love seeing my students from last year wandering the halls. I'm enjoying getting to know my new students. I think we have fun. We work hard, but we also have a lot of fun doing it. I had an interesting conversation with my admins yesterday about the next couple of years. I really feel like I can build a very solid, rewarding and successful career at OHS. I'm excited to see what the next five years bring.

It's definitely been a year of transitions and major life changes...and we still four months to go! It's been bumpy and I never really thought I'd be where I am at this point last year. It makes you think about the year to come. Hopefully there won't be quite as many changes as I've had this year, but I'm very excited to see what comes.

I had a dream...

I dreamed I was in a tornado last night. It picked me up and dropped me in a fountain. It took place as I was visiting Scripps - which has popped up in my dreams a couple of times lately, actually. I looked it up and this is what it means...

To see a tornado in your dream suggests that you are experiencing some extreme emotional outbursts and temper tantrums.To dream that you are in a tornado means that you are feeling overwhelmed and out of control. Your plans will be filled with much complications and you will be met with a series of disappointments.

To dream of college suggests that you will achieve your goals through perseverance and hard work. You may be going through a period of stress in your life.

To see a fountain in your dream represents joy, renewed pleasure or increased sensitivity. You are experiencing an outburst of positive emotions. Perhaps you are entering into a new relationship or a new phase in that relationship.

To say the last month or so - particularly the last week and a half - has been difficult would be a massive understatement. This past week I finally reached a point where I just couldn't deal anymore. I have been super cranky, frustrated and just generally unpleasant to be around. Any time anyone asked me anything remotely wedding related I wanted to hit something - preferably their face. Kind, I know. I reached my breaking point yesterday during my prep at school. I shot off an email to my sister and just ranted for a bit. I wasn't looking for an answer, but just wanted someone to hear me. She, being the wise woman that she is, responded with some well-timed words of wisdom. Turns out getting married is hard. BUT I am head over heels in love with this man, so there is just no other option. I have to marry him.

Tonight we got some really great news!! He received an official job offer here in Utah!! It's kind of hard to digest that little bit of information. We're actually going to be living in the same city! Holy crap!! What is that going to be like?? He put in his two weeks today and he's already making plans to get down here. 

Sigh...seriously. Is this really happening??

Count your blessings...

I am feeling incredibly blessed tonight and I just needed to share it with the interwebs.

• I've finished my first week at my new job teaching high school. There were, of course, some ups and downs but I seriously love what I do. I love working with my students and helping them learn. I love the ridiculous things they say and how silly they are. I love getting to know them, and helping them achieve their goals. I had forgotten how exhausting the start of a new year is. It's a shock to your system - mental and physical. My feet and legs ache at the end of the day, my voice is a little raspy after talking all day, my legs are definitely feeling the three flights of stairs that I take multiple times a day. I'm a little brain dead today. But at the end of it all...I love it. Moving to the high school and leaving behind my security net of friends was a big move for me. I was nervous and unsure I had made the right decision, but after this week, I can say I'm so happy to have made the switch. I have the best job in the world.

• Even though I'm at a new school I still get to see familiar faces. All my students from last year that are 10th graders this year are roaming the halls. They stop me in the halls to say hi. My football players run up to me and give me bone crushing hugs. Girls that gave me attitude all year stop to talk about their day. I think it's a comfort to both of us. We're all starting a new school and, let's be honest, it's a little intimidating. It's good to see friendly faces in the halls...even those students that were a pain in the rear last year. It reminds me why I do what I do.

• I have such amazing friends. With all the ups and downs of the past four-ish months I have had a whole cadre of wonderful and stalwart friends from every part of my life step up to support me and encourage me. Friends are something that I've always struggled with. Historically, it's been difficult for me to make friends. Through school I'd typically have one really close friend and then various acquaintances. Never before in my life have I been surrounded and supported by so many strong, loving, kind, intelligent women. Thank you. You have gotten me through the past three years...most especially the past six months. You all inspire and amaze me with your individual talents and strengths.

• I'm not sure just how to articulate this one...Vlad is...well, he's the best blessing. He's a man that isn't afraid of hard work. He's a man of quiet strength. He works so hard to improve himself and he's constantly, without realizing it most of the time, challenging me to do the same. We've been apart for about a month and a half and it's gone by quickly yet agonizingly slow. The best part of my day is when I get to Skype with him before going to bed. We're still waiting to hear back from his interview last week, but we're definitely feeling hopeful. If he gets the job, he could be here in 2ish weeks!!! How amazing would that be?!?!

• And finally, and most importantly, I am so thankful for the guiding hand of my Heavenly Father in my life the past year. It hasn't been an easy path that's lead me to my current happy situation. There have been lots of ups and downs, and at times I was ready to give up hope. I am so grateful that He never gave up on me. I have seen His hand and His love in my life in ways that are so undeniable it's almost laughable. I am blessed and grateful...so very grateful.

Ready or not...

The school year starts tomorrow...what??? I've had very little stress leading up to tomorrow. It was far easier to move into this classroom than any other classroom. My classes continue to fluctuate, but I know a good number of these students - I taught them two years ago in 9th grade. I'm sure some of them saw my name and had a few choice words. I wrapped up my plans for the week and couldn't think of anything more that I needed to do to be ready for tomorrow, so I went home at 4:00. I left with the feeling that I'd forgotten something but I have no idea what. Needless to say, I'm a little anxious about tomorrow. It's probably partially due to the unknown of teaching high school. I'm still not 100% sure on some things - as far as school procedures are concerned. I've asked about things that have popped up, but I'm sure I'm forgetting something.

In other news, Vlad had a phone interview on Friday for a job in Salt Lake...as in a mere 45 minutes from where I currently reside. That is a vaaaast improvement over the current 10-13 hours (depending on your route) that we currently "enjoy". He felt the interview went well and there are multiple openings. We're trying not to get too excited, but it's difficult not to. It's incredibly similar to what he is currently doing and would get him in the door with a great company. We're cautiously optimistic. He was told he should know by the end of this week. I seriously hope they don't keep us waiting that long. If he is offered the job, he'll put in his two weeks at his current job and be down here by mid September!! Gah! How crazy is that?! So, we're keeping our fingers crossed...and praying. If you're so inclined, we'd really appreciate your prayers and good thoughts! If he doesn't get this job, we know there are other jobs out there, but this would be so great!!

All natural

It's kind of funny (not really) how certain topics or issues that you've ignored or just dealt with can suddenly take on new importance when it can and will impact someone else. In this case Vlad. So I don't have uterine cancer (yay!) but I do have PCOS (Polycystic Ovary Syndrome). This is something I have known about since my early 20's but other health issues seemed to take precedence. However, now I'm getting married and I want to be healthy and have a long, happy life with Vlad. I also would like to have children. This is something that I've always wanted but now it is an actual possibility. I've found the other half of the equation. PCOS causes infertility. PCOS now has a very real impact on my life in a way that the other symptoms (obnoxious and frustrating as they are) never really have.

My doctor has put my on hormonal birth control to treat my PCOS. I have been doing some Googling and discovered that this course of treatment can lead to other issues down the road - like Type 2 Diabetes. Given my family history, on both sides, that's not really something I want to risk. So I've been looking into more natural treatment options and it's all so overwhelming. There are so many different websites and blogs and opinions... I don't know what to do or who to believe. I do know that my body is protesting...vehemently...to the current course of treatment. I was told to give it three months for my body to adjust. But dude...month one has been a doozy!

I've spent the evening making lists of foods and herbal/vitamin/mineral supplements that have been suggested. There are lots of different options it seems, but I've focused in on the ones that keep popping up across the board. I just want to be healthy and I'd like to do it in a way that doesn't involve ingesting synthetic compounds.

Sometimes I wish I had a degree in a medical field so this stuff made more sense to me...

The all clear...

I finally heard back from my doctor. After over a month of nerves and nonsense, I was told the pathology of my biopsy was normal. Phew...huge relief....huge! Thank you to everyone that has texted, called, emailed, sent me messages of support and love. It's made this scary situation a little bit better.

I'm particularly grateful to have the most amazing fiancee. He has willingly and enthusiastically entered this relationship knowing that there was very real possibility I would be very sick and could possibly lose the ability to have kids. It's kind of mind blowing, really. He's listened calmly when I've been pissed off about it. He's held me when I cried, made me laugh off my frustrations and just been incredibly supportive about the whole thing. It's definitely been a whirlwind romance and the distance thing isn't the easiest, but I'm seriously so blessed. (Sorry...that was a little gag-inducing, wasn't it??)

Patrick's response to this news was "YES. So glad. Now get married." That's all. My younger brother makes me laugh...he's so concise and to the point. Vlad and I are still working on the whole setting a date thing. He really needs to get to Utah before it's realistic to set a date. He's applied for some jobs and is looking at others, but no news yet. I'm hoping he'll be here by mid-late September...at the latest?? But really, it's out of our hands. So, if you're inclined to pray, we'd definitely appreciate it if you could add us to your prayers. We're doing our part but that will only take us so far sometimes.

In other wedding-related news...the longer this thing drags out without a definitive wedding date, the more ideas and "themes" I'll go through for the reception/wedding. I think I'm on the third...maybe fourth color scheme, decor yadda, yadda, yadda. They're all very pretty, just very different. Turns out my dream wedding is an outdoor, summer wedding. As we're heading into autumn, shortly to be followed by winter, I doubt my dream wedding will be happening. I do know that however it turns out, it will be beautiful. And really, all that matters is that I'll be marrying the best man ever.

Cheers!

For the love...!!

I'm on week two of starting birth control and holy hannah, I seriously dislike it. I would seriously love for my uterus to stop hating me...that would be great.


That is all....



TMI???

Yin Yang...

Tonight I am super grateful that I have a wonderful fiancee that wants to be better and makes me want to be better. In the face of my ridiculous rants he simply smiles and listens patiently. That's all.

He's basically my favorite...

Youtube Vortex...

It happens...you know it happens. You start with one video, which leads to another and another and before you know it, you've been sucked into the Youtube vortex. You've spent an entire evening skipping around watching who knows what!

It didn't start out here, but every so often, I need to get my Les Miserables fix. I know, I know ...really?? Les Miserables?? Yes, really. Les Miserables.

These boys were a surprise...it gets really good towards the end.

And really...you just can't go wrong with this. The finale gets me every.single.time.

P.S...I think I would die of excitement and happiness if I ever had the opportunity to be in the "back-up" chorus at a concert like this. Holy crap...that would be the most amazing thing ever!

Redundant question...

It's the end of July. It will be August first in a few short days. Where in the world did my summer go??? I really do know the answer to that question, but I still feel there is merit in asking the question. I'm suddenly facing down the new school year, a new job, new curriculum, new office politics and I'm just now getting in some solid lazy, TV time.

It's not like it hasn't been a productive summer...I mean, my best friend married the love of her life, I experienced a cool new city and discovered the amazingness of Powell's City of Books. I discovered the cool, awe inspiring Cannon Beach, fell in love, got engaged, pursued moving to a different time zone, started planning a wedding, did a sister vacation to Cedar City, spent time catching up with friends, worked to maintain a long distance relationship (turns out this one is really difficult), helping out family...it's no wonder my head is spinning a bit, right?

There has also been a significant health issue hanging over my head. The week I left for Portland my doctor told me there was a possibility that I may have Uterine Cancer. Yikes, right? I've had a biopsy (which was quite possibly the most painful medical procedure I have ever experienced - and that's saying something!!) and we're waiting on results. I'm choosing to believe I am fine. If it was actually cancer I think my doctor would be treating this whole process with a bit more urgency. Besides, for the most part, I feel fine. However, for the past month or so this has been a driving force behind quite a few decisions Vlad and I have made. To that end, we've decided that we are going to focus on getting him relocated to Utah before setting a date. We want time to just be together as a couple before jumping headlong into marriage.

I have about two weeks before I have to go back to school. Students return on the 19th of August and I need to be back on the 14th. I'm starting to get a little nervous about starting at a new school. I left behind a pretty solid, amazing faculty and group of friends. I know I can do this and I will do it well. It's just that first big step into the unknown that always makes me a tad anxious.

My summers have typically been very lazy and seem to go on forever. By the time August rolls around I'm usually very ready to head back to school. This year I just feel like my summer is starting and it'll be over in a few short weeks. So even though I know the answer the question, I ask....where in the world did my summer go????

Why??

Why is it you say "wedding" and suddenly people want to cover you in rhinestones and pearls, charge you $250 for something you could make for $50 and expect you to have the next 30 years of your life planned out in great detail?


Also...how did people plan weddings without the aid of Pinterest and the interwebs??

That's all...

Midnight rumble...

Last night my neighbors had a party of sorts...I think. They've been moving stuff out quite a bit and I think (hope) they're moving, but can't quite be sure. Last night at around 2:00 in the morning I heard the following exchange...

"That &*#*ing *%&$*# thinks she can *($%)$* with my sister!"

followed by some indistinguishable conversation...

From what I could understand, someone was messing with this girl's sister, so she decided to go do something about it. The mother came out and, instead of telling this girl to chill, reminds her daughter to bring the eggs and to call and let her know that they got away safely and didn't get caught...


...SO.MANY.THINGS.WRONG....


In other news, I put a deposit down on a wedding dress yesterday! That statement seems a little odd...I mean, I put a deposit down for a dress. People usually put deposits down for houses, cars, apartments, vacations...but a dress?? I'm not going to post a picture because I want Vlad to be surprised...at least I do right now. As many know, I'm not the most patient of individuals, so I may eventually show him a picture.

Change of Address...

In the past week I have put over 1,000 miles on my car. Granted, a good chunk of that was from driving from Washington to Utah...but seriously, I have spent far too much time in my car of late. I feel like I should put in a change of address with the Post Office and use my license plate number.

On Friday Vlad and I left his place and drove an hour and a half to drop his truck off at the airport. We left his place around 4:30pm. After we dropped his truck off, put oil in my car and grabbed a sub par dinner, it was about 6:30. This is when our odyssey began in earnest. The drive to Idaho Falls really should have only take us about 8 hours...putting us in Idaho Falls around 2:30. We're not entirely sure how or why but this trip stretched into almost 12 hours. We ended up pulling over at a rest stop to sleep for an hour before continuing on our trek. We got to Vlad's Grandma's house around 6:00 Saturday morning. Now, the smart thing to do would be to grab some zzzzzz's. Instead we went to breakfast with some friends, got back in the car and drove to Utah. We took turns sleeping and driving. Once we reached my place, we changed real quick and then got back in the car and drove to Salt Lake to have dinner at my parents.

This trip was intended for Vlad to meet my family, but we were both so tired that I'm not sure my parents really got a good idea of who Vlad is and who we are as a couple. Oh well.... At this point we are running on somewhere in the neighborhood of 4 hours of sleep. Do we head back to my place after dinner? NOPE!! We get back in the car and head down to Lehi to spend some time with Vlad's best friend and best man. After some freak car trouble, we don't get back to my apartment until after midnight.

Sunday morning we were up and at a friend's for breakfast by 9am. We were both so tired. We managed a nap for a couple of hours on Sunday afternoon, but we were both pretty much still dead on our feet. 

This week I've also been helping Annie with the kiddos as she recovers from an unexpected surgery. That means getting up early to take the kids to swim and ballet camp. I'm happy to help out, but me being slightly sleep deprived has meant young children are a test to my patience. On Monday Annie told me I need to take a nap...so true! I came home and passed out for two hours. I probably would have slept longer if Vlad hadn't called and woke me up.

It's been a very busy summer with lots of changes. On our expedition from Washington Vlad and I made some very important decisions. The biggest was probably that he'll be moving to Utah and not the other way around. It wasn't an easy decision but we both think this will be the best choice for us long term. All the stress and anxiety from last week was pretty much erased with that decision. There are still some unknowns but we're getting there...slowly.

I am so excited to marry this man. 

After surviving the ridiculous trek from Washington, ice cream was in order....

Today's adventure...

Today I drove myself out to Elk Creek Idaho to see the Elk Creek Falls. Vlad and I were going to do it yesterday but opted for another date night activity. However, in the discussion last night he told me it was a hike but the trail was paved. No problem...

uuummm....yeah. Trail was not paved...at all....as in no pavement for miles around. The road to get to the trail head was a dirt road. I thought I was driving into the middle of some logging company's property and kept praying that when I came around the next corner I'd see a parking lot of some sort for this trail. Fortunately, eventually the road did just that.

It ended up being a 2.5 mile hike on a fairly easy trail. However, I was not prepared for forest floors, pine needles and tree roots. I was wearing flip flops. Now, to be fair to myself, I didn't really bring hiking appropriate footwear with me to Washington. My calves are definitely feeling it now.

The end result - the Upper Elk Creek Falls were somewhat lack-luster, but the surrounding nature more than made up for the underwhelming waterfall. 

It was nice to get out of the apartment and, at least attempt, to get my mind off of all the stuff that is swirling around.

Mea culpa

I am totally and completely failing at the whole don't be a sappy over-sharer on social media. Sorry guys...total fail. Mea culpa.

After the melt down of yesterday I had a nice chat with Lisa and we both are very happy that we're going through this wedding/newlywed thing sort of together. Vlad asked me last week if I thought I'd be getting married so close to Lisa and I honestly didn't, but I'm very glad that I am!!

Vlad came home from work today after having a rough day and I was definitely in need of some cheering, so we went on a date. It wasn't anything fancy or anything but it was so nice to go out together and just spend time together. We went to dinner at Qdoba...side note - why has this delicious Mexican Grill not found its way to Utah?? It seems like it would be a no-brainer. Anyway, after dinner we went to check out the various family plans on our respective cell phone carriers, because hellooooo, we're going to be a family! How's that for a reality check??

We then worked on our registry...yeah...that was fun. I had some guilt over some of the larger items... Kitchenaid Mixer and things like that. Vlad and I were walking through and looking at the various items and talking about what we would actually use and it hit me...I'm getting married. Like...seriously. I'm getting married. I have friends offering to throw be bridal showers. People are going to buy me stuff...lots of stuff. Vlad and I are going to be husband and wife...eep!! As this reality check was happening, I turned to look at him and thought to myself...that's right. You're marrying that goober... but he's your goober.

After some serious retail therapy/window shopping, we went and got ice cream.

His "why you take my picture...I eat ice cream" face

His "yeeeeah...she's going to take another picture" face

His...yeah...he's just a goofball

I'm thinking, "Yay! I didn't cut his face off!!"

Aaaand his phone had the better quality

First Melt down...check and check...

There are so many things going on in my life right now. The wonderful things are bigger than the not so great things...mainly, I get to marry my best friend (and no, I'm not talking about Lisa). However, there are few things that I can't control and are holding up some of my plans with Vlad. It's so incredibly frustrating because I just want to be with him and start our life together.

Other than hinting at it a little, I haven't said anything online and I'm going to be super vague while trying to explain what's going on. There are some health issues (me...I mean, of course it would be me, right? I'm the medical anomaly in my family, so why would that change now?) that will have a huge impact on the when, where and how of the wedding AND potentially the next six months of our lives AND the rest of our married life...potentially. The uber frustrating part is that I won't really know anything until the end of the month. That means that while we can sort of discuss options and potential outcomes in vague generalities, we really can't make any concrete decisions about anything.

And I mean anything.

We have a tentative wedding date, but that date may change...significantly...depending on the results of tests that can't be done until the end of the month. We can't set a venue with a date. And you can't really plan anything without a date.

We have no idea, really, where we will be living. Will I be moving and starting a new job? Will Vlad be moving and looking for a new job? WE.DON'T.KNOW! We don't really know anything other than we're getting married sometime in the next 3ish months.

Now, for a person that needs to know what's going to happen, when it's going to happen and where it's going to happen on even the most mundane of events, imagine the anxiety and stress I am feeling to not know a damn thing. I'm a teacher. We like to be in control. We are used to assessing the situation and taking swift and decisive action to address the issue at hand. I can't do that now. It's making me feel a little helpless...and I don't like feeling helpless. In fact, I loathe it. It makes me cranky.

I love Vlad. I love him more than I thought possible and I really am quite happy. I'm just wishing we could fast forward to the end of the month and really begin. This waiting game royally sucks. Lucky for me I have a sweet, supportive, funny and kind partner in life to wait with. Overall, I'm pretty lucky, don't you think?

Once upon a time...

...there was a girl who was frustrated with the dating game. She was tired of going on first dates. She was tired of paying for membership(s) to online dating sites. She was tired of getting involved with men that treated her poorly or were just brain dead. She was emotionally drained and tired of it all and she was ready to throw in the towel. But before she could do that, she decided to give it one last go.

With some reluctance and slight resentment, she charged the dating website membership to her account. She knew what would happen...or so she thought. She'd talk to some men...maybe go on a few first dates, maybe even a couple of second or even third dates. But, invariably it would fizzle or he would be odd, weird, scary or just plain boring. Or perhaps they'd both acknowledge that though they thought the other person was nice, it just wasn't going to work between them.

Her expectations firmly in place, she went forth and attempted to put herself "out there". She came across one profile that caught her eye. He liked to travel...he was self aware...he had a cute smile. He also lived in another state. "Meh...", she thought, "Not like it's going to go anywhere anyway...". And with the click of a mouse she sent off the first round of questions, not really expecting a response.

Imagine her surprise when he answered her questions and then, gasp(!), he kept responding. It wasn't easy for either of them...they'd both been hurt in the past and were somewhat skeptical that something could actually work out for them. They progressed through emails within the website to emailing through their personal emails. Phone numbers were exchanged and with some trepidation, they had their first phone conversation. Clocking in at approximately three hours, it set the pattern for long conversations about any and everything.

Phone calls stalled as he was in a show followed by finals and disappeared for a little while. She wasn't sure what to think but, with some encouragement from her fearless best friend, decided to give him the benefit of the doubt and was patient...ish.

Phone calls picked up again post-show and they started Skyping. Soon they were making plans to meet up when she was on vacation in Portland.

You can probably imagine how nervous and anxious she was to meet this boy. He could be completely psychotic or smell bad or be totally boring or worse yet...be a wonderful guy with zero chemistry. Yet, she needn't have worried. They fell in love in Portland. It wasn't slow but rather like lightening. She watched him as he walked the beach with her, explored the Rose Garden and the Japanese Garden and found herself picturing their life together. When he dropped her off at the airport, she wasn't sure how they would make it work only that she knew she wanted to spend the rest of her life with him.

What was originally going to be a two week separation turned into one week because neither could stand the thought of being apart for so long. She packed her bags and a week later showed up on his door. Luckily, he was expecting her...

The rest, I suppose you can say, happened as these things do. There was a ring and a question. I bet you can figure out her answer...

Something out of a fairy tale...isn't it?

Day 1

I have spent one full day in WA with Vlad. He was at work yesterday and I spent some time with his good friend, Kelli. I hope that one day I can call her my good friend too, and I think we're off to a good start! She showed me around the area and we went to lunch. Her two kids are adorable and funny. She clearly cares about Vlad and wants him to be happy, so that puts us on the same team!

Vlad and I made dinner last night and then just hung out all night. It's all very domestic and I love every second of it.

Packin' my bags...yet again...

I think the longest I have spent in my apartment this summer is one consecutive week...maybe 10 days. First was Lisa's wedding, then Portland and tomorrow I'm leaving to go see Vlad for a couple of weeks. Yes, you read that right. I said a couple of weeks. The original plan was to meet up in Portland again (his parent's are nearby) for the weekend of the 4th. It didn't take us long to realize that the 4th was too far away and not nearly enough time together. Yes, I realize the 4th of July is next weekend, making it a mere two weeks apart. What can I say? We're kind of nuts about each other. So I'm heading up there to just hang out with him and explore the area. And luckily, being a teacher, I have the flexibility to pack up and go. I'll take my computer and my books and hang out during the day while he's at work and then we'll get to spend our evenings together. Yay! No Skype! No phone calls! Face to face interaction!! Yay!! There are, apparently, some pretty water falls in the area, and I kind of have a thing for water in all its natural forms. We'll still head to the Portland/Vancouver area for the 4th and then back to his place for a week before he drives back to Utah with me to meet the fam. Supposedly, the largest fireworks show west of the Mississippi is in Vancouver. And hopefully we'll make it to Multnomah Falls. All the pictures I've seen of it are ridiculously gorgeous!

Now, I'm sure there are quite a few of you out there that are shaking your head at how fast this all seems to be developing. I, too, sometimes think about how crazy fast things have developed. Yet, we've known each other since January and have the most open and honest relationship I've ever had. Whenever I start to talk about him or our relationship I find it hard to find the words to describe him, how I feel about him and our relationship. Nothing has ever felt so right before. 

I'm excited to meet more of his family, his close friends and explore where he lives. Well....really I'm just excited to spend time with him. I don't really care where we are. 

When I get back I'll have a week before heading to Cedar City with Annie for the Shakespeare Festival! Then it'll be August and holy crap(!) the summer will be over! Best.summer.ever!! I'm trying not to fixate on what will happen when schools starts and sometimes I even succeed! 

Sappy Warning...

Since getting back from Portland I have had many conversations with good friends and family about Vlad...(I think I like that better than Bill Murphy...just go with it). In a relatively short period of time, my perspective, priorities and goals have done a complete shift. It's wonderful and great...it does take a bit of processing, though. Luckily, Vlad is totally patient and listens to my angsty rants, compulsive need to know what's going to happen right.this.instant. He tells a silly joke, just listens, completely changes the subject or just lets me rant. 

There are some frightening realities I'm facing that are separate and independent of my relationship with Vlad...well, they started that way. I...we have no real answers just yet and the potential outcomes are on the painful and terrifying spectrum. But, somehow, I'm not quite as scared as I was. 

Seriously...how did I get this lucky???

Rain drops on roses and whiskers on kittens...

I went to Portland this week (just got back tonight) and it was, hands down, the best vacation ever. I'd like to think that it would have been a fun vacation no matter what, but there is one thing that put it over the top...

The International Rose Garden - tons of roses and oh so pretty!

To protect the innocent, we're going to call him Bill Murphy. There's a story there, but you wouldn't find it as funny as we do. Just trust me, if you had been there, you'd find it funny too. 

Bill and I have been talking on eHarmony since January. We quickly went from emailing to texting, talking on the phone to Skyping twice a week to Skyping 3-4 times a week when our schedules would allow. I had been planning this trip to Portland for a while when Bill suggested he meet me there. He grew up in Vancouver (across the river). So, with some nerves and hoping it wouldn't be horribly awkward, we met up in Portland and had the absolute best time! 

It is a tad complicated as he lives in Washington State...but that's a mere detail. We're trying to figure this thing out and see where it takes us. I have promised multiple people over the years that I wouldn't turn into a mushy, sappy, nausea inducing over-sharer and so I shall do my best to curtail my natural exuberance. I will say this kind, funny, gentle man makes me very, very happy. 

Other cool things we saw in Portland and the environs...

Cannon Beach

Goonies never say die!

Japanese Garden

Japanese Garden

Japanese Garden

You can't really tell, but it was a beautiful sunset!

Pretty lake that I can't remember the name of....Lakma...Lacmas...Laskma...??

Sorry for the social media overload folks, but I just can't seem to help myself!! I shall try to not be *too* obnoxious.

Congratulations!!

Today was Lisa's wedding day...

...man, that sentence just seems unreal. If I hadn't been there to witness it, I'm not sure I'd actually believe it had happened! Not that I don't think that she'd ever get married, because she's amazing! I really am so happy for her and Bruce (not actually his name btw). It just seems surreal. I went up on Wednesday and we were running around getting wedding stuff done, and we talked about the surreal nature of her wedding quite a bit. One of us getting married is something that we talked and joked about for years. I was going to marry Derek Schnefflehopper and I was supposed to write her future husband a "Husband Manual" chock-full of helpful hints about living with Lisa. For example, unlike many women and stereotypes of women, when Lisa says she's ok - she is, in fact, ok. It is not code for "dig deeper or you're going to be in so much trouble later".

I will admit, I did cry...a lot. I was able to keep it together during the ceremony but when it was my turn to hug and congratulate the couple, there were tears...from both of us. We hugged to the point Bruce asked "I get her back, right?"

No matter how much I miss the BuBanks and all the daily shenanigans, I am so excited for Lisa and this amazing new adventure she is starting today. I love Lisa and Bruce together. They're such an easy going, happy, silly, loving, warm, kind and generous couple. I am overjoyed that Lisa found someone that really understands what an amazing woman he has in her.

Bruce isn't a slouch either...