Recently I've had two separate conversations about settling & reaching (marrying up) in dating. Up to this point I've always been a settler in many respects. Now, there are reasons for this but for now, that's irrelevant. For the most part I've been with men that weren't quite on the same page in one way or another. More than one lived with mom/siblings/uncles etc., hadn't finished/started school, didn't have a clear plan for the future...you get the point. It works for a while but inevitably it ends. Maybe that's part of the issue. I settle when I should reach. Mind you, what constitutes as "reaching" and "settling" is different for everyone. I went to Idaho for New Years to visit Lisa. I got to spend some time getting to know her boyfriend, "Bruce". They both think that they're the reacher in the relationship. I need to stop settling and start reaching. Although, the prospect is a little terrifying.