Packin' my bags...yet again...

I think the longest I have spent in my apartment this summer is one consecutive week...maybe 10 days. First was Lisa's wedding, then Portland and tomorrow I'm leaving to go see Vlad for a couple of weeks. Yes, you read that right. I said a couple of weeks. The original plan was to meet up in Portland again (his parent's are nearby) for the weekend of the 4th. It didn't take us long to realize that the 4th was too far away and not nearly enough time together. Yes, I realize the 4th of July is next weekend, making it a mere two weeks apart. What can I say? We're kind of nuts about each other. So I'm heading up there to just hang out with him and explore the area. And luckily, being a teacher, I have the flexibility to pack up and go. I'll take my computer and my books and hang out during the day while he's at work and then we'll get to spend our evenings together. Yay! No Skype! No phone calls! Face to face interaction!! Yay!! There are, apparently, some pretty water falls in the area, and I kind of have a thing for water in all its natural forms. We'll still head to the Portland/Vancouver area for the 4th and then back to his place for a week before he drives back to Utah with me to meet the fam. Supposedly, the largest fireworks show west of the Mississippi is in Vancouver. And hopefully we'll make it to Multnomah Falls. All the pictures I've seen of it are ridiculously gorgeous!

Now, I'm sure there are quite a few of you out there that are shaking your head at how fast this all seems to be developing. I, too, sometimes think about how crazy fast things have developed. Yet, we've known each other since January and have the most open and honest relationship I've ever had. Whenever I start to talk about him or our relationship I find it hard to find the words to describe him, how I feel about him and our relationship. Nothing has ever felt so right before. 

I'm excited to meet more of his family, his close friends and explore where he lives. Well....really I'm just excited to spend time with him. I don't really care where we are. 

When I get back I'll have a week before heading to Cedar City with Annie for the Shakespeare Festival! Then it'll be August and holy crap(!) the summer will be over! Best.summer.ever!! I'm trying not to fixate on what will happen when schools starts and sometimes I even succeed! 

Sappy Warning...

Since getting back from Portland I have had many conversations with good friends and family about Vlad...(I think I like that better than Bill Murphy...just go with it). In a relatively short period of time, my perspective, priorities and goals have done a complete shift. It's wonderful and great...it does take a bit of processing, though. Luckily, Vlad is totally patient and listens to my angsty rants, compulsive need to know what's going to happen right.this.instant. He tells a silly joke, just listens, completely changes the subject or just lets me rant. 

There are some frightening realities I'm facing that are separate and independent of my relationship with Vlad...well, they started that way. I...we have no real answers just yet and the potential outcomes are on the painful and terrifying spectrum. But, somehow, I'm not quite as scared as I was. 

Seriously...how did I get this lucky???

Rain drops on roses and whiskers on kittens...

I went to Portland this week (just got back tonight) and it was, hands down, the best vacation ever. I'd like to think that it would have been a fun vacation no matter what, but there is one thing that put it over the top...

The International Rose Garden - tons of roses and oh so pretty!

To protect the innocent, we're going to call him Bill Murphy. There's a story there, but you wouldn't find it as funny as we do. Just trust me, if you had been there, you'd find it funny too. 

Bill and I have been talking on eHarmony since January. We quickly went from emailing to texting, talking on the phone to Skyping twice a week to Skyping 3-4 times a week when our schedules would allow. I had been planning this trip to Portland for a while when Bill suggested he meet me there. He grew up in Vancouver (across the river). So, with some nerves and hoping it wouldn't be horribly awkward, we met up in Portland and had the absolute best time! 

It is a tad complicated as he lives in Washington State...but that's a mere detail. We're trying to figure this thing out and see where it takes us. I have promised multiple people over the years that I wouldn't turn into a mushy, sappy, nausea inducing over-sharer and so I shall do my best to curtail my natural exuberance. I will say this kind, funny, gentle man makes me very, very happy. 

Other cool things we saw in Portland and the environs...

Cannon Beach

Goonies never say die!

Japanese Garden

Japanese Garden

Japanese Garden

You can't really tell, but it was a beautiful sunset!

Pretty lake that I can't remember the name of....Lakma...Lacmas...Laskma...??

Sorry for the social media overload folks, but I just can't seem to help myself!! I shall try to not be *too* obnoxious.

Congratulations!!

Today was Lisa's wedding day...

...man, that sentence just seems unreal. If I hadn't been there to witness it, I'm not sure I'd actually believe it had happened! Not that I don't think that she'd ever get married, because she's amazing! I really am so happy for her and Bruce (not actually his name btw). It just seems surreal. I went up on Wednesday and we were running around getting wedding stuff done, and we talked about the surreal nature of her wedding quite a bit. One of us getting married is something that we talked and joked about for years. I was going to marry Derek Schnefflehopper and I was supposed to write her future husband a "Husband Manual" chock-full of helpful hints about living with Lisa. For example, unlike many women and stereotypes of women, when Lisa says she's ok - she is, in fact, ok. It is not code for "dig deeper or you're going to be in so much trouble later".

I will admit, I did cry...a lot. I was able to keep it together during the ceremony but when it was my turn to hug and congratulate the couple, there were tears...from both of us. We hugged to the point Bruce asked "I get her back, right?"

No matter how much I miss the BuBanks and all the daily shenanigans, I am so excited for Lisa and this amazing new adventure she is starting today. I love Lisa and Bruce together. They're such an easy going, happy, silly, loving, warm, kind and generous couple. I am overjoyed that Lisa found someone that really understands what an amazing woman he has in her.

Bruce isn't a slouch either...

WooooooOOOOOOoooooOOOoooooo!!!!!!!!!

I just finished booking the last few details for my trip to Portland in a few weeks...well, it's actually 13 days, to be exact, but who's counting, really?


I decided to splurge a little and booked this cute little thing to buzz around in while I'm there. Gah!! I can't wait!!!

I'm taking a day trip out to the coast, I'll hit up Powell's book store, visit the Japanese Garden, Chinese Garden and International Rose Garden. I'll wander the trails along the Willamette River and just see where the road takes me.

Bittersweet excitement

School ended on Friday - woot! I moved out of Mound Fort and at least got all my stuff over to Ogden High. I'm up on the third floor....I have a door (!), walls (!), windows (!) and it actually looks like it was intended to be used as a classroom! Imagine, that? Want a look see??

It's long and a little on the skinny side, but I have actual whiteboards (three, in fact!). I'm not too jazzed about having tables but I'll make do. 

It was definitely a bitter sweet goodbye to my Mound Fort family. It was only bearable because I know I'll be seeing them often. We had a "Woo-hoo! It's Summer" dinner on Friday night and yesterday I got a pedicure and saw Maleficent (really good, btw) with Sarah. I'm nervous about the department I'm entering - fitting in and, in a way, proving myself all over again. As my wonderful friends have been telling me - I'll just do my job and I'll do it well. It will all work out, I'm sure...I hope.

They demanded a group selfie. Student trip to USU.

Student trip to USU a couple of weeks ago

I've taught these boys for two years - lots of sweat, blood, tears, laughter and frustration....

The past two years have been a whirlwind and I'm not entirely sure how I ended up where I have. I love my job - even if it does kick my butt on occasion. If you had told me three years ago this is where I would end up - I'd probably laugh in your face and tell you you're nuts! However it is that I ended up here, I will be eternally grateful. I couldn't imagine my life now without my crazy, obnoxious, surprisingly sweet students. 

I'm also sort of obsessed with this song lately. Melody Gardot is currently on repeat at home. Thank you to Pandora for the amazing discovery. I also LOVE this song. She's singing in French, so I have absolutely no idea what she's saying but I think it's so pretty!

Upcoming events to look forward to...

• Massage tomorrow morning
• Lisa's getting married two weeks from yesterday. So excited for her and Nathan. They're such a great couple. And we all know how much I love Lisa, so that's really saying something for Nathan. 
• PORTLAND!!!! I will finally get to visit Powell's Bookstore, explore the gorgeous Oregon coast, and all the other fun, quirky stuff there is to see in Portland.
• Shakespeare Festival 
• Jan, Lil and Sarah have convinced me to go hiking with them in the mornings. I'm not sure why I agreed but I did. So we'll just see how this adventure plays out...

#yesallwomen

So this and this has been going on this week...and I saw this. And this. Aaaand this.

I have written page after page after page trying to figure out just what I wanted to say about the shooting in Santa Barbara, the #yesallwomen hashtag, sexism, misogyny and violence against women (in all its forms). I have written very rational and factual responses but that didn't express the frustration, anger and sadness I feel. I wrote a rather emotional and personal response but it was deemed "too much". Which, if you really think about it, is rather ironic. I don't want to "turn off" others by being seen as an irrational, emotional woman. I want to share my experiences with others but I'm afraid of the reaction I may get. Irony at its finest - I'm afraid to speak out about misogyny and sexism because of the potentially negative reactions I may get.

Since my cousin posted about this hashtag on Facebook two days ago, I haven't been able to stop thinking about it. I haven't been able to turn my brain off and everything I hear is now processed through a completely different lens. I keep thinking of what I would say if I were to post something to Twitter. It's reopened scars I thought had long since healed. I've been fighting demons I thought were long since dealt with.

Louis C.K. has a short sketch talking about the danger men pose to women. The audience laughs because why would a person willingly put themselves in danger in such a way? It's absurd, really. He compares men to half bear, half lions that will kill you because it's their nature. It's unrealistic to expect the lion/bear hybrid to do anything other than attack and kill you. Hence, it's unrealistic and naive to expect men to not attack women. By his reasoning (and yes, I understand he is employing humor to make a point) we can't expect men to treat women well because it's not in a 'true man's' nature.

I've read a lot of different responses to the hashtag - most are very positive and are truly attempting to have a dialogue. Unfortunately, there are still many who don't see sexism and misogyny as a very real threat to the well being of women and children. (This brilliant TED Talk discusses how women's issues are actually gender issues. It's about 20 minutes but worth a listen.) Sexism, misogyny, violence against women has such an impact on every single person. It's not just something that hurts women. What about the young boy that watches his mother beaten nightly? What about the young girl that is told she'll never make as much as her brother. In a society that indicates value by monetary distribution, what is it telling our sons and daughters when women still don't make the same salary as men? That there are far fewer female CEOs, Senators, Congresswomen, professors, doctors and scientists?

I don't have daughters or sons but I have nieces and nephews. I have nearly 200 students that I interact with on a daily basis. I want a better world for them. I want my nieces to stand tall, proud and unafraid. I want my nephews to respect and appreciate the strength of the women in their lives. Was it is about our culture that turns boys into men that devalue and denigrate women and girls? I think...I hope it starts with an honest and open dialogue. To that end, for the young women and girls trying to define and determine their own identity; to the young men and boys trying to define masculinity...

#yesallwomen

• because it's her fault he's using her. She needs to wise up.
• because "just checking in, I'm safe" texts and emails are normal while traveling.
• because as a single, short, white woman, I have to work twice as hard as my male counterparts to get the respect of my students and maintain order in my class.
• because I have a firm drive separately, meet in public first date policy
• because the buddy system isn't just for little kids
• because the width of my hips is commented on with regularity
• because all men want a woman that's a 9 or a 10 no matter what they are and at best, you're a 7.
• because he had certain 'expectations' for his wife that didn't include working at an inner-city, title I junior high
• because me saying "no hickeys" is actually a challenge for him to leave a larger, brighter mark the next time.
• because no one will want me unless I drop 60-80 pounds
• because nothing I say matters if I cry. It simply proves I am an irrational woman
• because I've lied about having a boyfriend when rejecting a man. It's easier and safer than actually telling them I'm not interested.