Middle Child...sorta

Your Personality Profile

You are nurturing, kind, and lucky. Like mother nature, you want to help everyone. You are good at keeping secrets and tend to be secretive. A seeker of harmony, you are a natural peacemaker. You are good natured and people enjoy your company. You put people at ease and make them feel at home with you.

The World's Shortest Personality Test

I even went to the concert!

Your 1996 Theme Song Is: Who Will Save Your Soul by Jewel

Who will save your soul when it comes to the flower Who will save your soul after all the lies that you told, boy Who will save your soul if you won't save your own?

What's Your 1996 Theme Song?

Salt Lake County Correctional Facility

11:14 pm - 801-261-9551
11:15 pm - 801-261-9560
11:16 pm - 801-261-9556
11:17 pm - 801-261-9561

That's how many phone calls I received from the Salt Lake County Correctional Facility last night. I answered the first one because I didn't recognize the number and someone calling that late (after I had been in bed for an hour) it must be an emergency.

I answered the second one because I hung up on the first one before I heard who was actually calling. I still couldn't understand who it was the second time and I just didn't answer the third and fourth time. SO if anyone tried to call me last night from the Salt Lake County Correctional Facility and I didn't answer, I'm sorry. Try speaking clearly next time!

Thoughts

I went shopping with my mother this weekend for new pants. I've lost quite a bit of weight since the surgery (relatively speaking) and since I could pull my pants off without unbuttoning or unzipping them, I figured it was time to invest in some new pants. I went to several different stores and tried on more pants than I ever have before and it was still incredibly difficult to find pants that I liked and felt comfortable in. I ended up buying two pairs of pants that I'm not over the moon about but was convinced by my mom and the sales clerk to buy them. All this shopping and trying on of clothes made me realize a few things:

ONE: What mean spirited group of fashion designers thought it would be a good idea to have the same number mean different actual measurements depending on the store, style and brand of clothes. I tried on the same size pants that I had at home...the ones that were now too big for me, and I could hardly get them buttoned. I don't understand how one size can be so different. It's frustrating and just plain old mean.

*TWO: I've found that most women are generally unhappy or insecure with the way they look. We all have our own issues. For me, it has always been my weight. It is something that I have struggled with for years (little did we know that it really wasn't anything I had too much control over). Being overweight, how ever much or how little, you happen to be, is more than just a dress size of a number on a scale. It's a state of mind. It's a dangerous state of mind. If you feel fat or gross in the clothes you are wearing or just in your skin, the number on the scale isn't going to make a difference and people telling you isn't going to make much of a difference either. In high school I had all the psychological symptoms of anorexia but none of the outward/physical manifestations due to my other medical issues. And those issues stay with you. They don't go away because you happen to lose weight. I act excited about the weight loss because I think I should be and people expect me to be but really I'm skeptical. It won't last or it won't make a difference. I've never felt especially pretty or confidant in the way I look and it's silly and naive to think that by loosing weight any of that is going to change. I have to change the way I see myself and that doesn't change with the number on the scale.

THREE: All the people that complain because they have nothing else to do should be put into a room together, lock the door and throw away the key.


*disclaimer - I am not anorexic and I am not depressed. These are things that I experienced in the past and I am now simply giving voice to ideas and thoughts that have been rolling around in my head. These are reflections on my life, thoughts, feelings and experiences that have shaped my life and who I am today.

For Patrick

This was on my facebook profile but I'm deleting it. I just thought it was funny.

"I like the word 'creepeth'. It's one that you would have trouble fitting into everyday conversation... Back in Genesis, everthing and everyone was always creepething around when everything dark and lush and overhanging, and the snakes talked and you strucketh your brother for the smallest of reasons, and the smallest of smotes would almost always kill."

-Stuard Murdoch, Belle and Sebastian

Holiday 2007

I got a digital camera for Christmas and since then I've been taking tons of pictures and these are just a few that were taken over the holidays. I wanted to load them in the reverse order but once I got started it was hard to rearrange them...so they're a little random. But they're of Christmas morning, my apartment all decorated and hanging out with friends. All in all, it was a pretty good Christmas and there will be plenty of pictures in the future thanks to my brand new super nifty digital camera!

Please tell me he's joking...

On my lunch I was reading different newspapers and articles online about the New Hampshire election and I found this little gem of a quote from Huckabee:

"If they're not going to vote for me ... let the air out of his tires. Shovel your snow into his driveway," he said. "Don't let this person do damage to this country while you're trying to do a good thing."

Please tell me he was trying to be funny....