Rut

I'm in a rut. I've talked about this a lot lately but I'm going to repeat myself once more (surprising, I know, but bear with me). I have been going nonstop for the past year and I anticipated thoroughly enjoying my easy going summer with absolutely no responsibilities or demands on my time other than my little more than part time job. Well, it's been about two weeks since the dust has fully settled and all obligations have been met and can I just say, I am BORED out of my mind!! I'm not sure how much more of this "relaxation" I can handle. I need homework. I need papers. I need the stress of running around like a crazy person!

I know what you're all thinking..."kelly, you're nuts" closely followed by the slightly exasperated sigh and "find a new hobby!". I know! I've looked at yoga, cake decorating, sewing classes, piano lessons, water aerobics...nothing is really sticking. I wake up in the morning around 9:00 or 10:00 and the roll over because I have no where to be until 8:00pm.

Here's a new word of the day folks...it's been a while but this one is particularly fitting.

ennui (n.)
	a feeling of listlessness and general dissatisfaction resulting from lack of activity or excitement

I am too bored to be bothered with finding a new hobby and I think I'm going to go crazy before the summer is over.

By Jove I think I've got it!

I think I may have figured out a way to move abroad after graduation and get around the pesky work visa thing and most of the other little details that overwhelmed me. I could apply to teach at a DoD (Department of Defense) school. I googled teaching abroad and it was one of the first links listed. I looked at the different requirements needed and once I graduate, I'd definitely be qualified. I have no idea how competitive it is or if my single status would be a hindrance or a benefit. No idea...but it's definitely something to keep in mind.

I know the undergrads can apply to student teach at a DoD school and students from Westminster have actually been accepted. Graduates can't because we have a required travel experience and the DoD required student teaching is 10 weeks and I wouldn't be back in time from the DoD placement.

I won't say for sure this is what I'm going to do because a lot can happen in a year, but it is definitely something I'm going to keep in mind as I get closer to graduation.

New Hobby

I've had quite a bit of spare time on my hands now that I'm out of school. You may have noticed this already with the onslaught of posting lately. I came across this blog done by a group of girls, a couple of which I know.

I saw this project and thought it was adorable and decided to give it a whirl. Here is the final project:

I used buttons instead of little pearls and my flowers aren't quite as uniform as the original but I kind of like it better that way. Super easy to make, cheap (under $10) and very cute!

Missed opportunities...?

I fell in love with London when I spent about ten days there in 2006. I love the energy, the history, the beauty of the city. While standing in the tiny kitchen of the rented flat, I told my mom that I was going to live in London someday, somehow. Once upon a time I wanted to study at the University of London. While visiting, my mom and I even went to the admissions office to talk about what would be needed. I could probably get in, I just got scared by the cost and all the logistics of getting over there and I never followed through.

While looking for jobs and trying to figure out what to do with myself, I set up an account on a website called LondonJobs. It's basically the British version of Monsterjobs. The tricky part about getting a job in England is that your employer has to apply for the work visa, so I couldn't save up, move over and then find a job. It never came to anything because I wasn't actually ready to make that terrifying leap.

Today I got an email from LondonJobs saying they could send email alerts about applicable jobs so I "wouldn't miss out on missed opportunities". It's got me thinking. Could I? Obviously, not until after I'm done with school...but really. Could I?

I promise...

...to get gussied up more often.

...t0 let loose and dance it out.

...t0 let go and explore.

...t0 remember to smile.

...t0 let go of first impressions.

...to not borrow tomorrows problems today.

...to not worry over what I have no control over.

...to love me - all of me.

Why hello, beautiful...

I am enjoying my first, honest to goodness, summer vacation in nearly five years since joining the "real world" and getting a full time job. After being in school for three straight semesters without a real break and after pushing myself to the brink of both a physical and mental/emotional collapse, I thought it would be wise to take a little breather. I'm still working, though only part time, and I'm enjoying the leisure and laziness I've missed for the past year. For example, today I don't need to be anywhere until 8:00 this evening. I have spent my morning wrapped in blankets, rereading Harry Potter and listening to the rain outside my window. It's pretty idyllic, really. At least as idyllic as I get these days.

As I get more time passes and I get a little more distance from last semester, I see just how bad it really was. I let a lot of things slide and I didn't take care of myself - spiritually, physically or emotionally. I didn't realize how bad it had become until I actually had time to think about things other than school. I did well last semester, I'm not sure how I pulled it all off, but I did. But was it worth it? Next semester I'll only taking three classes with one placement in comparison to the four classes and three placements I took last semester. Hopefully I'll be able to have a social life and have some fun. There was a big switch-a-roo with the LDS Singles Wards (LDS congregation for single adults age 18-30) in Salt Lake and I have a new ward. I've met some fun people and I can't wait to make more friends. I've missed feeling like I belong and I think I may just get that from this new ward.

Balance...I'm looking for balance.

Obligatory Bday post...

Today was my birthday. I turned the big 2-7. I've been so busy lately that occasionally I would forget that my birthday was coming up, which is pretty unusual for me. I'm usually the count down the days kind of girl. I'm not really sure why. I don't typically have big parties or get mountains of gifts. I think I just liked knowing that for one day it was okay to have the spotlight centered on you. Being four of five kids growing up, one with a birthday two days later, and very often sharing a weekend with mothers day, getting the attention didn't happen to often. And really, let's be honest...I'm a bit of an attention slut (I typed whore first but decided slut was a little less harsh. But then I typed it anyway, so I guess it's kind of a moot point). Parenthetical thought aside, birthdays were always a day for me to be the center of attention so I've always been super excited about it. I'm not really sure why but I just didn't really care this year. Whoop-di-do, I'm another year older.

This morning I woke up to a scratchy throat, an achy body, and a body spasm inducing cough. I also hosted a bridal shower for a very dear friend. It didn't really seem like my birthday and really, I would have been just as content laying in bed all day (that may or may not be the cold medicine talking right now). Yet, I have a wonderful friend and roommate that planned a "Girl's Night Out" with a small group of friends. Granted, it wasn't as high energy as it may have been if not for me staring off into space on occasion, but it was a fun evening. All in all, it was a pretty decent birthday. All the important people remembered and I guess that's better than a huge party or the mountain of gifts.

Now I'm going to go cough up my other lung...happy birthday indeed.

Things I currently love...

1. Yogurt covered Raisins. My sister used to eat this when we were younger and I recently picked up a bag. Oh man...so tasty. HOWEVER, I do NOT recommend the Sunkist Vanilla flavored yogurt raisins. Bleh...

2. Picking out and planting flowers with my five and three year old niece and nephew.

3. Going shopping with a wonderful, wonderful friend and finding the dress.

4. Finally losing that sense of anxiety and expectation that I have felt for the past year. I no longer feel guilty for sleeping in, reading for pleasure, watching a movie or any other non academic pursuit. Granted, it also helps that grades posted and I no longer have to think about that either.

5. An upcoming weekend full of pre-wedding goodness, graduations, family dinners, birthdays and mother's day. We like to pack it in..

6. Natural sunlight in my bedroom

7. Lots of extra space in my bedroom

8. Semi ridiculous conversations with my sister.

9. Having tough decisions taken out of my hands by circumstances

10. Words with Friends...seriously addicting.

11. This fabulous website and all the cute and fun dresses I am jonesing to purchase

12. This fun blog with lots of crafty ideas. Can't wait to do the yarn wreath! I think I'm going to do it next week when there's not quite so much going on...see #5

13. Having a school free summer, with literally no worries or school related obligations. I haven't been this relaxed in who knows how long!

14. Future swimming, zoo and other fun adventures with the sister and her little ones.

15. A girl's night out on Saturday to celebrate the big 2-7. Seriously, when did I get this old?

16. Mochi Ice Cream balls that I haven't been able to find anywhere in Utah, hence not eating them for nearly five years, and finding them at Costco last week.

17. Having a fun and zippy car to drive. I love Miss M!

18. I'm absolutely in LOVE with this etsy.com store.

19. All the blossoms on the trees and my nephew telling me it looked like popcorn.

Episode from the sitcom, Life and Times of KCB

Sister: Do you know the secret?

Me: What secret?

Sister: I don't know? What secret do you know?

Me: I don't know...what secret do you know?

Sister: Why? what secret do you know?