It was a rough week. School was difficult, work was especially workish, I couldn't stop thinking about my church obligations and it seemed like my pants actually shrunk and my hair wouldn't do anything other than lie flat and limp against my head. All I wanted to do all week was crawl into bed and watch trashy TV/movies on Netflix. So what did I do this weekend...? Exactly that. I stayed in bed literally all weekend. I came up for food occasionally but other than that I hunkered down and snuggled in deep with the blankets and my Watch Instantly Netflix streaming right to my computer. Love the digital age. I slept late, stayed up even later and basically ignored my life for two straight days. But I did, at least shower every day (I'm not a complete heathen!) That is, of course, the mature and adult approach to such burn out. I'm fairly certain I freaked my roommates out and I even went over to my parents this evening and watched...the Super Bowl! I know...kind of frightening, right?
Sunday, February 6, 2011
Probably could have handled that better...
I tend to take on more than I can reasonably handle and then I get surprised and upset when I get burned out and have to hibernate for two whole days. You would think I'd learn my lesson and not take on so much. But there's always that thought in the back of my head..."well, so and so could handle this!" or "So and so does this AND rescues puppies from the pound all while finding a cure for cancer!". I have unrealistic expectations of my own capabilities and as a result I have spent the past weekend second guessing my own potential and ability to succeed in my chosen field. Yes, So and So does rescue puppies from the pound, in addition to canning all her own fruit/veggies, cooks delicious meals from scratch, works out every day (not that she actually needs to) and is sweet and funny to boot. But that's So and So. You'd think that after falling into this trap so many times, that I'd actually learn from it. Not even two weeks ago and I was giving myself a proverbial pat on the back for doing so well and all that. It's amazing how little it takes to bring us to our knees - or in my case, queen sized pillow topped mattress with comfy flannel sheets.
Posted by Kelly at 9:45 PM
Labels: grad school, my life, random thoughts
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5 comments:
Don't beat yourself up. You are going in the right direction but just need to unload a few responsibilities so you can focus on school and work. Go talk to your Bishop about being released from a couple of your callings. Pick the calling that has the least demand on you right now and asked to be released from the others. It's important that you manage the stress because you don't want a flare up of previous health problems. If you have to throw in the health issue when talking to him, do it.
Meanwhile, there are people saying, "Wow, that Kelly, she's going to school and working yet she can still fit in an entire weekend of vegging out!"
Oh, I do the same thing. Every time I think about dropping down to less credits, I tell myself that I can do it because my oldest brother did it with two jobs, a wife, four kids, etc. I still struggle, but often times I have to tell myself to stop comparing myself to others. It only hurts me in the end.
Yes, you DID freak your roommates out, but I was relieved to see you back to your old self today.
Hi, blog-stalking you if that's okay... Completely agree with everything you shared. I can relate. Boy, can I relate!
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