Thoughts of a stressed out and slightly overwhelmed woman...

1- I have never appreciated a clean bedroom so much before and never has my personal space been quite so messy and cluttered for such an extended period of time.

2- After years of doing the on again off again diet/exercise thing, I've finally found something that works for me. It's called the Grad Student Diet. It involves lots of Diet Dr. Coke, at most 6 hours of sleep (more like 4), on average one meal a day (on week days, this may go up to two meals a day on weekends), and running all over town to school, work, and methods placements.

3- I have absolutely no doubt in my mind that this is what I want to do with the rest of my life.

4- I need to either constantly remind myself or have someone remind me that I have absolutely no doubt in my mind that this is what I want to do with the rest of my life.

5- I miss spending time with my friends and family.

6- Clean clothes are somewhat overrated

7- I know I don't want to teach in an elementary school and am leaning towards middle school but haven't completely ruled out high school.

8- I am slowly developing my own classroom management philosophy and it kind of feels good.

9- Diet Coke, Goldfish crackers (the original flavor) and crescent rolls....'nuff said.

10- I miss reading for the joy of it.

11- I am learning a whole new language of acronyms and educational jargon.

12- Spring break cannot come soon enough.

Probably could have handled that better...

It was a rough week. School was difficult, work was especially workish, I couldn't stop thinking about my church obligations and it seemed like my pants actually shrunk and my hair wouldn't do anything other than lie flat and limp against my head. All I wanted to do all week was crawl into bed and watch trashy TV/movies on Netflix. So what did I do this weekend...? Exactly that. I stayed in bed literally all weekend. I came up for food occasionally but other than that I hunkered down and snuggled in deep with the blankets and my Watch Instantly Netflix streaming right to my computer. Love the digital age. I slept late, stayed up even later and basically ignored my life for two straight days. But I did, at least shower every day (I'm not a complete heathen!) That is, of course, the mature and adult approach to such burn out. I'm fairly certain I freaked my roommates out and I even went over to my parents this evening and watched...the Super Bowl! I know...kind of frightening, right?

I tend to take on more than I can reasonably handle and then I get surprised and upset when I get burned out and have to hibernate for two whole days. You would think I'd learn my lesson and not take on so much. But there's always that thought in the back of my head..."well, so and so could handle this!" or "So and so does this AND rescues puppies from the pound all while finding a cure for cancer!". I have unrealistic expectations of my own capabilities and as a result I have spent the past weekend second guessing my own potential and ability to succeed in my chosen field. Yes, So and So does rescue puppies from the pound, in addition to canning all her own fruit/veggies, cooks delicious meals from scratch, works out every day (not that she actually needs to) and is sweet and funny to boot. But that's So and So. You'd think that after falling into this trap so many times, that I'd actually learn from it. Not even two weeks ago and I was giving myself a proverbial pat on the back for doing so well and all that. It's amazing how little it takes to bring us to our knees - or in my case, queen sized pillow topped mattress with comfy flannel sheets.

I really am grateful but...

...I am more than ready to purchase a new vehicle...other than that whole pesky payment issue. Can someone please remind me why I'm not independently wealthy?

Brunhilda (Hilda for short) and I have had quite a trip together. She's got her quirks but she's kept me company on many a trip across the southern Nevada/Southern California desert. We've been to St. George and back several times. We've been up north quite a bit. Yes, the past nearly seven years have been good years for us and yet...she's loosing steam. She knows it and I know it.

• The driver side door still won't unlock from the outside...meaning, I have to unlock the passenger door, crawl in and lean across to unlock the driver side door. Get out, walk around and then open the driver side door. Doesn't seem like too big a deal...hah! Try doing it in a skirt and heels when you're parked on the street. And now the passenger door is starting to stick too.
• In other lock related issues, the trunk will only open by using the lever by the driver side door. The key no longer works on the trunk lock and I'm fairly certain it hasn't worked for years.
• The heater takes at least 15 - 20 minutes to actually warm up to do anything other than blow cold air back in your face. It takes even longer depending on how cold it is outside.
• The roof is slowly rusting, sending a nice shower of bronzey confetti as I cruise down the freeway.
• The CD player may or may not keep your CD for an indefinite period of time. Be sure you really like that CD because you may be listening to it for quite some time. OR don't put in your favorite CD because you may never get it back.
• The seat belts in both the seats up front may or may not let you use them. They decide to lock at the most inopportune moments.
• The emergency break is apparently on the fritz and wouldn't do any good.
• I was driving down the freeway tonight and I hear a slight popping noise and I notice that the hood of my car isn't latched completely. It's being held down by the secondary latch, because that's safe!
• I'm also missing a hubcap from when my dad drove her up to Idaho over the summer.

Hilda and I have had quite a journey together but really...I think I'm ready for an upgrade...unfortunately, my bank account disagrees.