Sunday, January 10, 2010

Dating Tirade

So I'm seriously breaking the "no late night blogging" rule but for whatever reason, I'm still up and on the computer. Feel free to stop reading now.

In the past several days I have had multiple conversations with several different people from completely different areas of my life about being single. It's not just LDS women either. And we all seem to have the same issues. Lots (in some cases) of first dates but no second dates or really, really, really...really bad first dates and then the guy thinks you're going to go meet his parent's in Washington for Christmas. Or no dates at all. Or relationships that have no potential to go anywhere. Or insanely creepy stalker boys. Or emotionally and mentally unstable basket cases that belong in a get the point. MY point is...well, maybe I don't really have a point other than seriously...seriously?????

I know so many beautiful, wonderful, smart, talented, successful women that beat themselves up because they a. can't get past date #1 b. get past date #1 only to realize the poor schmuck isn't worth it c. aren't in a relationship heading towards the white picket fence, a dog and 2.5 children. Why do we do this? Why do we associate our sense of self with what don't have instead of what who we are and what we have to contribute. It makes me sad/mad when I see girls that have everything in the world to offer a guy and they get treated like crap by guys that have no business even asking these women out! Why do we put up with this?!

I may be closer to 30 than I am to 20 (and apparently in UT that means I am past my expiration date) but I deserve better than I've been getting dag-nabit and so do you (that is, of course, assuming that you too are single).

ps. I'm not really as bitter as I sound and this was in the context of several conversations and general bombardment of lack of coupledom.


George Marie said...

Your blog is well taken. It inspired me revisit a few rules that I made after I went on an awkward date once.

(1) Dating cannot hinge on conditionals. For example, if you do not like someone's political or religious affiliations, don't tell them that you hate that it's a part of them. This is unfair, and if this is an issue, the date is over before it even leaves the ground.

(2) Guys, always hold doors open for girls. Always pay.

(3) Guys, always be timely. Girls, be understanding if the guy runs a few minutes late.

(4) Don't comment on either party's attire, car, or other similar issues. These are highly personal choices, and if the person doesn't fit your criteria, you are unfairly wasting their time.

(5) Do not criticize someone on the first date. This is really unfair, because you don't even know them that well yet.

(6) Find out what you have in common with the other person. Common ground always is safe.

(7) Be kind. Don't act in a way that would disappoint your mother and father.

(8) Be considerate. Don't say anything that would disappoint your mother and father.

(9) Be thoughtful. Guys, tell the girl she looks gorgeous and that it's great to be on a date with her. Girls, tell the guy that he looks handsome and that you're happy to be out with him.

(10) If the date doesn't go well, and another doesn't seem appropriate, go ahead and make that fact known then and there. Don't blow the other person off entirely. That's just rude and not respectful of the other person's time.

Motorcycle Grandma said...

George - please print this out and pass it to every Elder in the E7 Ward.

Thank you.

Lora said...

I really enjoyed reading this post, you captured exactly how I felt about dating for the longest time.

I'd like to follow your blog if you don't mind, you have a very entertaining writing style.


Lora (who was single and on the wrong side of 30, until she moved to Ireland and found the One)