We all have those crossroad points in our life where if we had made a different choice our life would be very different right now. Do you ever think of the "what if"? What if you had taken that job somewhere else or hadn't gone to this school or dated that guy/girl. I am of a mind that all the choices we make are the choices we needed to make and no matter the outcome, it was for our good. If it was a bad outcome, then it was a lesson we needed to learn and, if we're smart, we won't make the same mistake again. That's the way I usually think but lately I guess you could say that I've been dwelling on the 'what if's' of my life.
The biggest what if I can is how would my life be different if I had moved to LA with Katy and Sara like I was planning last fall? I talked with Sara a couple of weeks ago and she's doing so well and having so much fun. She's still teaching full time at the two Orthodox Jewish High Schools but she's also been co-writing with another teacher she works with on screenplays/tv scripts. She is currently casting for a tv pilot for a show that she is the associate producer for......yeah. You read that right. She's only 24 and she's an associate producer for a tv pilot show that has sparked a lot of interest in a couple of networks. She's dating someone, living in a beautiful home in the Burbank Hills. Sounds pretty great, no? She and Katy have fun and hang out. They go to the set of Scrubs and have parties.
Now, in my heart of hearts, I know that I made the right choice in staying in SLC. More than the obvious reason that I needed surgery, there were more important reasons that I needed to stay in SLC but I still can't help but wonder about how my life would be different if I did move to LA. Life isn't all flowers and sunshine right now. It's hard and it's stressful and it's dark. I have to fight the urge to bolt. I know my life wouldn't be perfect in LA and I know that Sara's life isn't perfect and she's not me and she deserves absolutely everything she has gotten (and more!) but I can't help but wonder....what if....?
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
What if...
Sara and I at our Graduation Morning Brunch.
Posted by Kelly at 5:53 PM
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4 comments:
Oh man, I feel your pain. That is one of the things that I always get caught up in- what if, what if, what if? It helps me to look at it and say, "okay let's look at what if" and not just look at the fantasy outcome, but also consider the bad things that could have happened, even if they're crazy and outlandish and not all that likely, because usually the fantasy version is pretty unlikely, too. That usually helps brings me back down to earth. That and doing something to get me out of my own head. I can seriously get lost for weeks in there, and once I get out, things are a bit clearer.
What if is a bad bad place... it is a place that lives only in our minds and too often it looks better than where we are... I stay away from that place, because I have way too many reasons to be happy with where I actually am.
Rather than visit "what if" I like visiting "what can be"... it's real and ultimately if you dream it up and make it happen it is infinitely more satisfying than "what if"!
Oh... and here is some cheap marketing for me:)
http://www.hopesdreamsandhiccups.blogspot.com
Woo hoo!!!
Can we remove 'what ifs' and 'should'ves' from our lives :) I miss you!!!
The "what if"s seem to raise their heads when we are dissatisfied with the present. I try to remember that "all things work together for the good of them that believe." It is all a learning process, sometimes slow and painful...worth it in the end we have hope.
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