Do I stay or do I go?

I've been fairly blah about life right now, especially my job, so when there was an opportunity to apply for a job in a different department that was interesting to me I jumped at the chance and somewhat impulsively, submitted my resume. This is a job that I had previously applied for and did not get but that I really wanted at the time and many people have told me since that I would be perfect for. I was talking to the people that work in that department and they told me that I should apply for the job and that I would be perfect. I had an interview with the manager yesterday morning and the department this morning and the Director later this afternoon. All signs point to me being offered the job. I should be excited, yes? Here's the flip side of it all....

I told my current manager that I applied for the new job and she was not happy....at all. I told her my reasons for it and what my long term plans are (law school) and how I wasn't happy in my current job. I felt unappreciated, undervalued, and underutilized. I was and am a wasted talent. (i know I'm sort of tooting my own horn here, but that's how it goes). She sat and listened to me and then when I was done talking she said that she completely agreed with me. She then proceeded to say how much she doesn't want me to change departments and talked through the whole thing with me. Talked about the problems I saw and what needed to be done. It ended with her telling me to write up a job description and she would go over it with me and adjust it as needed and approve it. She basically told me I can make up my own job within the department. I told her that if the new job offered more money, I would probably take the job. She said ok, but if I chose to stay she would go to bat to get me more money in June. It couldn't be sooner because I just got a raise a couple of months ago.

So now, I'm not sure what to do. Do I take the new job if it's offered me, which is highly probable (although, now that I said that I probably won't get the job). Do I stay where I am and see if I can make is something exciting? I have no idea what to do. What do I do????

Love that Austen

"Conversation however was not wanted, for Sir John was very chatty, and Lady Middleton had taken the wise precaution of bringing with her their eldest child, a fine little boy about six years old, by which means there was one subject always to be recurred to by the ladies in case of extremity, for they had to inquire his name and age, admire his beauty, and ask him question which his mother answered for him, while he hung about her and held down his head, to the great surprise of her ladyship, who wondered at his being so shy before company as he could make noise enough at home. On every formal visit a child aught to be of the party, by way of provision for discourse. In the present case it took up to ten minutes to determine whether the boy were most like his father or mother, and in what particular he resembled either, for of course every body differed, and every body was astonished at the opinion of the others." (Sense and Sensibility, Vol. I Ch.VI)

I was reading Sense and Sensibility last night and I just couldn't help but laugh out loud as I was reading this and other passages. Most people think of Austen as a romance novelist and don't realize that she was, among other things, a satirical genius. She would tease and laugh at the very people that read her novels. She was able to laugh at her own way of life. This particular paragraph made me laugh so much because I have seen this exact scene played out in my own life and chances are you have too. Thank you Miss Austen.

Life continues

You've probably noticed that I haven't posted much in the past couple of months. Well, my life just isn't that interesting. I don't have any boy drama to be melodramatic about. I don't have friend drama. I don't have cute stories to tell about my children because I don't have children. I'm not especially witty so I can't write a funny/charming post about mirrors and childhood nostalgia. I don't take extraordinary pictures. I don't really have a displayable talent so rather than bore people with the same entries about work and non existent drama there, I don't blog. But there have been a few good things that happened lately. I got a promotion at work. I'm now Team Lead for my ever shrinking mini department and I report directly to the Registrar. I was also called to serve as the Relief Society Secretary in my singles ward. Also pretty cool. But neither are the event that really got me excited and was the impetus for this post. It's a simple event and some may even say shallow but it made me happy. I got dressed this morning and as the number on the scale has continued to drop I decided to try on my favorite pair of jeans the I haven't been able to wear for probably about a year. And they actually fit. I am wearing my favorite pair of jeans from a year ago. Yes. that's my exciting news. Not that I am progressing in my job or that I got an exciting and somewhat frightening call at church. I am currently more exciting about my pants fitting. Sad? Shallow? maybe....but I think the past year I have earned the right to be shallow and excited about this particular moment.