All Sorts of tid-bits

You know all those blogs out there with the really cute backgrounds and the music player and all the bells and whistles? Well, my blog isn't like that. I'm sort of suffering from blog envy. I don't know how many times I have tried to change the template with something that I've found on a blogger website but I always get an error message. So I'm stuck with the templates provided by our dear friends at Blogger. I guess it's not too bad, although, I'm not crazy about the dark dots, so I may be forced to change it, yet again.

I didn't get in to University of Cincinnati. The application deadline was 1/15 and I got an email (yes, they reject you via email these days) this morning at approximately 7:30 telling me that, although they enjoyed reading my application, they did not want me to be a part of their 2009/2010 program. I thought I had a fairly competitive application...go figure. I did email them back asking if they could give me more details about why I wasn't accepted. Was that inappropriate? I guess it doesn't really matter if it was or not, I didn't get in and I really want to know why they didn't accept my application. Was it really that, as qualified as I am, there were even more people that were more qualified than me? Or is it my entire application and research interests don't belong in the Academic Field of Women's Studies? I'm upset but more just anxious. What if I don't get into Sarah Lawrence? What am I going to then? So all morning I've been frantically trying to come up with Plan B and Plan C and possibly even Plan D. So if anyone has suggestions...I'm all ears!

In other news, Lisa turned 23 last week. I had a party for her. Lots of people said they were coming but the night of, only four people showed up. It was irritating. If you can't come then say no, but if you say you're going to come, then you should come! or if something comes up, let us know. But despite the lack of attendance, we had a good time. Those that came were fun and entertaining. Anyone that knows Lisa well, knows she has a love for all things fast and on wheels - mainly cars and motorcycles. So I did a race themed party. The decorations were fun, if somewhat childish. All in all, we had a good time. (Pictures below)

Last night I went to see "Taken" with a group of friends. It's about an ex-CIA operative (Liam Neeson) whose daughter gets taken while she's in Paris by Algerian sex slave traders. So off he goes to Paris to get her back. It was so good! You see Liam Neeson in a whole new light. There was lots of fighting and chase scenes but it wasn't excessive. It's about what you would expect in a Bourne movie. Liam Neeson, who I've always loved, kicked some serious butt. My friend said he was like an over the hill Jason Bourne. So worth sitting on the third row for.

Birthday Pics:

The Race Car photo cutout- everyone had their picture taken

We are sistah's from different mistah's - don't ask.

Heidi and the Birthday girl

Dreams

My sister posted about dream interpretation. She also posted a link to a dream website. So I had a dream last night and I don't remember anything except there was a frog in it. The frog was in one of those big tin coffee cans and then it jumped out of the can and around the room. So I went to the dream website and this is what it says about frogs:

To see a frog in your dream, represents a potential to change (applying to grad school??) or something unexpected. The frog may be a prince in disguise and thus, signify transformation. Alternatively, the frog symbolizes uncleanness (my room looks like my closet exploded and my car hasn't been washed all winter), fertility, or rebirth. To see frogs leaping in your dream, indicates your lack of commitment. You have a tendency to jump from one thing to another (How many times did I change plans this year? MBA, Law, now grad school). Alternatively, it may suggest that you are taking major steps toward some goal (applying to grad school).

Weird no?

I will not freak out, I will not freak out

I've spent most of my day reading my old college papers. Most of them are on floppy discs, old school, I know. So I had to start up my old laptop with the floppy drive and then save them to a USB. I even have a few things from high school. Why am I reading my old papers you ask? Well, I'm trying to figure out which one I'm going to include in my graduate school applications. Very exciting, I know.

I am trying very very hard not to get overly frustrated and upset over this whole process. I feel completely and totally lost here. I have spent a good portion of the day Google-ing "Women's History Graduate Programs" and "Graduate Programs - Women's History" and "Womens' Studies Graduate Programs"....you get the idea. I've only found two really good options. Sarah Lawrence College and University of Cincinnati. When I was looking for undergraduate schools I applied to 8 or 9 different schools but back then I had a professional college counselor that started working with us during our junior year of high school. It's a little different when you're trying to figure this all out on your own. I'm taking the GRE next Saturday. I'm not terribly worried about it. My verbal score is really the only thing that needs to be really strong and that shouldn't really be a problem. But I need to find 3 people to write recommendations for me, preferably someone that is familiar with my work as a student. I haven't been a student for almost 3 years! I have to write a personal statement in addition to an autobiography and request official transcripts from Scripps.

I'm trying really hard not to freak out. Thursday night I couldn't sleep because I couldn't stop thinking about all of this so, I got up and started my "autobiography"...at approximately 2 in the morning.

I think part of my anxiety is knowing that I cannot stay where I am for another year. I just can't do it. The very thought of it makes me want to scream, cry and punch something all at once. I love a lot of things about my life right now but I absolutely cannot stand my current job. There are good days and I enjoy the people I work with but the work itself is not interesting to me anymore. And I know that I can always look for a new job, I've done that...several times. I just haven't found anything that appeals to me or that I wouldn't have to take a significant pay cut.

It's hard doing this all on my own, without any direction from anyone. No wonder it's taken me this long to get going. It's a good thing I had a college counselor in high school, who knows if I would have ever gone to college!

Year in Review....

The year is coming to an end and it is generally a time people look back on the previous year and reflect. These are some things that have happened this year, a la Lisa.

• I have lived in 4 different locations this year
• Got a clean bill of health (yay!)
• Saw an upside down street sweeper
• Painted my bedroom
• Bought matching bedroom furniture
• Changed jobs
• Changed plans...several times
• Was Relief Society Secretary
• Asked a guy on a date
• Survived a near death experience
• Was excited about the Presidential Election
• Became more comfortable in my own skin
• Made new friends
• Had 3 different roommates...current roomie rocks!
• Came to terms with, accepted and embraced my girlishness
• Saw Les Miserables for the 6th AND 7th time
• Learned that chivalry really isn't dead after all
• Became terrified of driving in the snow
• Moved on...really moved on
• Had a wonderful Christmas, thanks Lisa!
• Bought a 5 volume set of Louisa May Alcott books printed in 1901 for $30
• Really decided to go back to Grad School
• Laughed
• Cried
• Injured myself
• Bonded over scones
• Had regular brunch dates with an old friend
• Said goodbye to good friends
• Saw Brian Stokes Mitchell in concert with Edward Hermann
• Finished all 6 episodes of 24
• Took a road trip

All in all, it's been a pretty good year. 2007 was a difficult year for me, so I'm very grateful that I had this time to regroup, heal (mentally/emotionally and physically) and move on. I feel really good about where I am in my life and the plans I have for the future. It's a really good place to be. I don't think I've ever been there before and it's good. So Merry Christmas! Happy New Year!

Random Pictures

Lisa and I got the perfect Christmas Tree. We decorated our apartment and I love it. We had friends over the other night and we played games. It was a good time but after they left Lisa and I were a little hyper so we started taking random pictures. They're silly and strange but we had fun.

Isn't our tree pretty?

These are our Blair Witch pictures...don't we look scared?

More Blair Witch

When I saw this picture I was laughing so hard I almost puked. Some people pee their pants, I almost lost my dinner.

Life is funny like that...

Two posts in one day?! I know, amazing, right? Anyway, I have been re-reading the good ol' blog here and I have to admit, I'm slightly embarrassed by some of the things I have written. I'm mostly embarrassed about stuff I wrote back in the beginning. I mean, really, did I have to quote those cheesy songs? And of course, now that I remind you of it, you all are going to go back a read them just to see if it's really as bad as I say. Trust me, it's bad. But if it were just the stuff from back in the day i guess it wouldn't be too bad. I can laugh at myself. I can say, wow, I was slightly melodramatic and nuts. I can say it. But the "Late Night Rant", that was two weeks ago. This guy that I'm talking about...the one that I'm confused about. Huh, not so confused anymore. It's like a switch has been pulled and I wonder what I ever saw in him. Don't get me wrong, he's a very nice guy but just not for me. I look at him and I honestly wonder where the attraction is/was. So I just wanted to let you all know that I am not pining for him. I mean, of course I would never pine to begin with, right?

It's a little late

This is a little late in coming but in the spirit of Thanksgiving and the Holidays in general, I felt it appropriate to express my gratitude for the blessings in my life. This list is kind of a throw back to this list and this list.


I am thankful for.....

1) good health. It's been a long time coming and I still scare myself sometimes with thoughts of relapse but it hasn't happened and I feel better now than I have in years.
2) a wonderful ward. I've been in my singles ward for a little over two years now and I love it. The people are so great. Not only are they all smart, funny, caring people, they are wonderful examples to me of faith and spirituality.
3) my patriarchal blessing. I read more and more as I get older and life gets more confusing. Every time I read it, I learn something new about myself and the plan the Lord has for me.
4) my scriptures
5) the Gospel
6) I'm thankful that I have an older sister that I want to call when I have exciting news or I need to talk about something. She is an amazing woman and I hope to be more like her.
7) My relationship with my mother.
8) my love of reading
9) my love of learning
10) music
11) My roommate. We're so similar and yet so very different. She's making me learn and change and grow. She calls me on my ridiculousness and yet still loves me
12) My cozy apartment. It's nice to have a place that I can call home and actually feels like home.
13) surviving near death experiences
14) Laughter. I love to laugh and I haven't done a whole lot of that in the not so distant past. I'm thankful for friends that make me laugh and that laugh at my silly jokes
15) my younger brother and 24 marathons
16) my piano...even if it is a little honky-tonk
17) passion. I am now convinced that I life without passion (about anything) would be boring
18) My ability to feel and to love. Sometimes it feels more like a curse but it is who I am and I don't want to change that
19) Men that honor their Priesthood. They make me want to be a better woman
20) Good memories
21) Traveling

I'm thankful for many things. Lately I have felt like I am overflowing with love for the people around me...yes, I said overflowing, hyperbole is my friend these days. I am grateful for a loving Heavenly Father that has placed these people in my life.