What can I do...?

As a teacher, I love my content, and that is most likely true for most teachers. I am an English nerd. I love a good story, a well written sentence, a gorgeously chosen word. I think it is important for my students to have an understanding of how to communicate effectively both through speaking and writing. I hope to help my students learn to, if not love, at the very least enjoy reading. But more than any of that, I hope to help my students build character and broaden their view of society and the world.

We're starting The Crucible this week. For the past month or so I've been mulling over how I want to approach this play and make it interesting and relevant for my students. I decided that I would approach it as a mirror for high school, social groups, reputations, bullying etc. To start us off, today I had my students write a journal response about reputations and then we had a class discussion.

From the get-go, my students surprised me with their thoughts about reputations and social groups. I had predicted that students would care a lot about what their peers thought of them and about their reputations at school. To my surprise, almost everyone said they worried more about what their teachers thought of them than how their peers viewed them. It was a reminder to me that even the most stubborn and difficult of students still wants their teacher to think well of them. Now, of course, this will not apply to every single teenager that crosses my path, but it was a good reminder to me the majority want to do well.

My 4th period blew me away. In the course of our discussion on reputations, a student made the observation that there is a double standard when it comes to girls and boys. Up until this point I'd been mostly moderating the discussion, but letting the students take it where they wanted. As the class continued to talk about reputations and gender, I noticed it was, with one exception, the boys talking about the girls' collective experience. I found it interesting that the female students in my class had, in essence, surrendered their voice. They were allowing their male peers to describe their female experience. I let it continue for a few moments before I stopped the conversation and asked them two questions.

• Who was doing all the talking? (the boys)
• What/who were they talking about? (the girls' experience)

The class was silent for a few moments before the boys started chiming in and explaining why girls don't speak up. The most vocal of my female students continued to attempt to share her thoughts, but her voice was drowned out by her male peers.

Again, I stopped the class. I told the boys that for the next five minutes they weren't allowed to talk. I wanted to hear from the ladies in the class. Even at that point only two-three girls spoke up out of 10. One girl said she doesn't speak up because people don't take her seriously. She said a guy can make the same comment that was dismissed when she makes it, but is praised or considered when a boy makes it She continued to say that boys often don't let girls finish their thought or will shut them down right away. 

Up until this point, my male students were seriously struggling to not speak. They were raising their hands and I had to remind them multiple times that it wasn't their turn to talk. One student stood and faced the wall to prevent himself from talking. When my female student made the comment about getting shut down, a male student couldn't contain himself anymore and interjected "We do not!" quite vehemently. While that got a few chuckles from the class, I was so impressed by my students' willingness to discuss these issues AND to honestly consider their complicity in the accepted sexism of our culture. I think some of my male students were truly disturbed and they wanted to know how to fix it How can they change it? That lead to an interesting (student-led) discussion on privilege. 

Sometimes the weight of the responsibility I have to these young men and women presses down on me. At the end of class one student, a young man, looked at me and asked (expecting an answer), "What can I do?" 

I'm not sure what I told him is the right answer. I mean, what is the fix to the gendered bias and sexism of our culture? I told him to be aware of privilege in all its forms and to stop and think about those who are silent. Why are they silent? Can you encourage them to to speak? I told all of them - male and female - don't let people take away your voice. Don't let anyone take away your truth.

And lest anyone think that we didn't talk about the content, I was able to  nicely tie the entire conversation back to The Crucible. We talked briefly about the Madonna/whore dichotomy and they got a crash course in feminist literary theory. We didn't talk about the historical and contemporary context of the play - but I think it was an hour well spent. 

Summer reading list...

Earlier this week a student of mine asked me for a few suggestions for summer reading. She was currently reading The Scarlet Letter and wanted to know which "classic" she should read next. IT was actually quite fun to put together a list of books that have stayed with me. Some of them I want to now go back and reread.

I started with a regular sized post-it note. Three post-its later I realized that was illogical and switched to a large, lined note card. When it became apparent that wasn't going to work, I typed the whole mess up. Since posting about this on Instagram (because that's how I roll...) I've had several people ask for a copy. SO, what follows is what I gave to my student. And I'm proud to say that yesterday she came to class, fresh from the library, toting a copy of Anna Karenina under her arm.

I'd love to get suggestions from ya'll of books to add or that I may have forgotten to list.

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So, I may have gone a little overboard, but I started writing titles and I would think of another title, then another and another... It was sort of a domino effect. Not all of these titles are “classics” in the sense that they’re really old, but they’re classics in the sense that they’re good books.

Classics – European

*Anything by Jane Austen (Pride and Prejudice or Persuasion are my favorites)
*Jane Eyre – Charlotte Bronte
*Villette – Charlotte Bronte
*Wives and Daughters – Elizabeth Gaskell
*The Woman in White – Wilkie Collins
*The Moonstone – Wilkie Collins
*The Importance of Being Earnest – play – Oscar Wilde
*Lord of the Flies – William Golding
*The Scarlet Pimpernel – Baroness Orczy
Pygmalion (play) – George Bernard Shaw (the movie My Fair Lady is based on the play)
*Night – Elie Wiesel
*The Four Feathers – A.E.W. Mason
*Anna Karenina  - Leo Tolstoy (Russian – Russian authors can be hard, but good story)
*The Count of Monte Cristo – Alexandre Dumas
*Tale of Two Cities – Charles Dickens

Classics –  American

* My Antonia – Willa Cather
The Narrative of the Life of Frederick Douglass- Frederick Douglass
*Little Women – Louisa May Alcott
*Short Stories of Edgar Allen Poe
*The Great Gatsby – F. Scott Fitzgerald
Narrative of Sojourner Truth – Sojourner Truth (memoir)
*To Kill a Mockingbird – Harper Lee
*Animal Farm – George Orwell
*The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn – Mark Twain
*East of Eden – John Steinbeck
*Gone With the Wind – Margaret Mitchell
I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings – Maya Angelou (African American Literature)
*Their Eyes Were Watching God – Zora Neale Hurston (African American Literature)
*A Tree Grows in Brooklyn – Betty Smith
Invisible Man – Ralph Ellison (African American Literature)
The Things They Carried  - Tim O’Brien (contemporary)

* Books I have already read. The others are on my list to read. Many of these books have film (sometimes multiple) adaptions. Many of these may also be available for free download or from Barnes and Noble classics series for $3-$5 apiece. The county library will definitely have most, if not all of these titles.

Week one of the rest of my life...

Last week was the first full week of the new year. It's been so great to start from the beginning and set up my expectations from the get-go. I also have had time to set up my classroom, physically, the way I want it. I have no illusions that this upcoming year isn't going to be difficult, however, I am really going to enjoy it.

I've spent the week getting to know my students and we started our first unit by the end of the week. I'm teaching 8th and 9th grade this year. It's been a challenge to plan two different curriculums (what's the plural of curriculum? Curriculi? Curriculea??) and transition between 8th and 9th grade students. I have found that I can't be quite as laid back with my 8th graders. They need a bit more structure than I need with my 9th graders.

I'm tough and I expect a lot from all my students. At first, I'm not sure they knew what to do with me, but I'm pretty certain that by the end of the week, they realized that we'd all help each other and they'd be fine.

By the end of the week I was absolutely exhausted and was ready to sleep the weekend away. But, I did come away from it so excited and thrilled that I have a job that I love!

My classroom!

Honestly curious...

I'm posting this knowing it has the potential to become something I don't want. Yet, I'm turning to the blogosphere for some insight. Mitt Romney has announced his VP running mate, Paul Ryan. I suppose I'm like many people and when it comes to elections there are several issues that I pay more attention to than others. Some it's foreign policy and others it's health care. I have two; education and women's health. Both Ryan and Romney have said, if elected, they will cut Pell Grants. Yet, on his website he says, 

"Post-secondary education cannot become a luxury for the few; instead, all students should have the opportunity to attend a college that best suits their needs. Whether it is public or private, traditional or online, college must be available and affordable."

I'm confused. How does cutting Pell Grants make post-secondary education more accessible for students? According to this Washington Post article, Ryan's proposed budget would spend 33% less on education. Romney's website says "the long-term strategy for getting America’s economy back on track is ensuring a world class education for American students." Tell me, how is that going to be possible if we're cutting spending on education? I'm a teacher. I have a minimum of 30 students in my class and my largest class is pushing 40. Forget about a textbook for every student, I don't even have a classroom set of textbooks for my students. We can get grants for the fun and shiny new technology (we got Smart Boards installed last year) but we can't get the money for textbooks? 

I'm honestly wondering what the logic is and what does he plan to do, specifically, to help boost education in America.

We don't need no thought control...

I have had an incredibly lazy summer. That is partly due to exhaustion and lack of funds. The last session of summer school for Ogden School District starts tomorrow and I am teaching English I...aka 9th grade English. I've been putting off planning and thinking about it until the last possible moment. After being so extremely lazy for so long, my brain was having a difficult time making the transition to teacher. 

However, as I was driving home from Salt Lake this evening I got that little twinge in my stomach. It's a mix of nerves and excitement at being back in the classroom. Fortunately, it's only for two weeks and then I get a couple of weeks off until school begins in earnest. I'm not sure if I'll teach summer school next summer or not. But this time around, even though I've been dreading it, I think it will be a good way to ease me back into teaching. Last spring wasn't an ideal situation and I was really just trying to survive. I'm looking forward to starting fresh and setting my rules and expectations from the get go. 

At times I get a little uncertain about where or how to start...particularly when thinking about my actual, physical classroom (it's kind of a disaster). Yet, I'm excited to get back to it and do what I love.

....and it won't hurt to have some money in the bank again.

Just sayin...

worth a thousand words...

The wild world in which we live

I haven't updated all month and quite a bit has happened and continues to happen. Instead of an in-depth update you're getting the Kelly's Update List of Might and Wonder. Yes, you read that correctly... Kelly's Update List of Might and Wonder. It's exciting stuff. So, without further ado, here it is...

• Finished and passed student teaching
• Completed screening interviews with seven school districts and the Catholic Diocese
• Entertained a very generous job offer from Duchesene School District teaching Special Education at Union High in Roosevelt, Utah
• Took a road trip to check out the YSA scene in Roosevelt...very young and naive
• Nearly died on said road trip due to lovely March blizzard
• Determined I cannot, under any circumstances, live in Utah County. The construction alone would negatively impact my health and driving record
• Received second job offer to teach at a junior high in Ogden, which I am still considering. (Yes, you read that correctly. I have gotten two job offers. I had two non-district interviews and both resulted in job offers. Just had to toot my own horn a bit. Okay, bragging done)
• I continue to work on finishing up my Teacher Work Sample, ePortfolio and other odds and ends in preparation for graduation this spring
• Casually and not so casually looked for a new apartment
• Got the oil changed on my car
• Made some really great new friends from my cohort
• Finally released from old calling and called as the Relief Society pianist
• Sang in Sacrament meeting with Shannon
• Agreed to sing in my parent's ward with Shannon and Lisa...although that won't be for a few more weeks
• Called for two interviews at local charter schools
• Purchased first ever suit to look appropriately professional for said interviews...I think it worked
• AND I'm going to see Hunger Games tonight with the sister and her hubby

All in all, it's been a pretty busy month and the upcoming months will probably be just as busy as I, hopefully, get settled in with a new job, new apartment and new ward. Maybe then I'll remember to blog a bit more...eh...maybe not.

One down, Nine to go....

I survived my first week of student teaching.... yes, let's all take a collective deep breath. I kind of can't believe that I'm finally here. I feel like I've been at this for such a long time. In a few short months I'll graduate. They're actually going to give me a license to teach.

It was a pretty good week. I started out just doing a lot of grading but I ended up doing quite a bit of teaching. I subbed for my host teacher all day Thursday and part of Friday. I was surprisingly not nervous. Not surprisingly, a few of my students tried to push the limits to see if I would cave or not. I didn't. Classroom management has been something that I've been worried about. I worry that I won't be able to get them to pay attention to me and participate. This week went a long way to soothe my nerves. There were a few moments of minor panicked thoughts of "Oh crap, what do I do now?!" but we all got through it in one piece.

There will still be the students that try to sweet talk their way around the rules, those that will sleep through class, the back talkers and jokesters. I know this. Yet, I am now fairly confident that I will be able to handle this.

It was a long, exhausting week. I've been battling a cold all week on top of grading, planning and trying to get some semblance of a routine going. Some nights I came home, said hello to the roommie and crashed. Yet, despite the sheer exhaustion I drive home every day thinking - "that was fun". Okay, maybe it hasn't been 'fun' every day but I am thoroughly enjoying myself.

Highlights

• Student wrote "this sub is awesome" on the whiteboard on Thursday for my host teacher to see the next day. They haven't quite figured out the difference between a substitute and student-teacher.
• Students finally understanding grammar compliments and compliment vs. complement. They have been working on this for quite a while and weren't getting it until Thursday.
• 2B discussion on Satire and Mark Twain...they were completely engaged and I hardly had to say a word.

Low lights

• Losing my voice after teaching all day Thursday and coughing frequently while trying to teach.
• Not sleeping due to said cough.
• Student attempting to stare my down...he lost because I walked away without engaging.

Student quote of the week... "Your shoes are cute. My mom has those same shoes."

Thoughts for this evening...

1) I forgot my glasses at home. This is upsetting for two reasons

1. I am squinting at my computer screen and it's difficult to read
2. I'm squinting at my computer screen!!!

2) I missed class a couple of weeks ago due to jury duty and wasn't there when the professor explained an assignment. I did, however, get a copy of the rubric and we have examples in a class manual. The professor offered to meet with me if I felt I needed further explanation. The assignment was fairly straight forward so I figured, why waist my time and hers? I turned it in last week and she seemed skeptical that I would have been able to do the assignment. She made a comment saying, "well, if you can do it without further explanation, I'll be very surprised." Got back the assignment today...full credit. In your face, snarky mc-snarkison!

3) I'm trying to figure out how I will be able to afford to student teach next semester. I won't be able to work...at all...and due to recent events in my life have very little extra money. I am gladly taking donations...just kidding....sorta.

4) The trip to Paris has been postponed to a yet to be determined date. See previous thought... Sadness.

5) In the past five months I have dated more than ever before. I guess you could say I am making up for lost time. HOWEVER, no one ever told me how much havoc a man/boy/guy/man-child can wreak on one's life. Up, down, sleep deprivation, drama... I'm telling you, it's nuts!

6) I love Downton Abbey. Maggie Smith is amazingly hilarious. If you haven't seen/heard of this fantastic tv show on PBS...go watch it. You'll thank me, I promise.

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To blog or not to blog...

...that is the question. I've had some pretty great things happen in the past month or so. I've debated blogging about it but I'm just not sure I want to send it out into the interwebs just yet.

I will say this, my new ward is pretty fun. I've met some really fun and exciting new people and made some great friends. I've been to Bear Lake, attending movies in the park, had BBQs and pool dates with the girls.

As far as what else is going on...I guess time will tell if I share it with you all. But I do want to just say - I am happy. I am far happier than I have been in a very long time.

The Adjustment Bureau

No...not the movie, although that is a very good flick. I highly recommend it if you haven't seen it already.

I am simply learning to adjust my expectations. It's not easy and I have to remind myself daily, if not hourly, but I'm trying.

Oh sweet freedom!

As of 8:00 MST tonight, I am officially done with the semester from hell. I'm giddy with excitement and yet there is still some residual anxiety left over...phantom anxiety, as it were. I keep thinking I need to do something and I have to remind myself that no, Kelly, there's nothing left to be done. It's okay to veg and just take it easy for a while.

I've been thinking about the past semester, particularly my Special Education classes. It's made me question if I want to continue with SpEd or go a different route. I loved my general education classes and my middle school placement, but my elementary SpEd placement was torture for so many reason. Remember this? Well, my last day in the class my mentor teacher tells me she doesn't feel she can write an evaluation or sign my time sheet. There was all kinds of drama that I won't go into but it was just one more thing to deal with. I know, that dealing with this person shouldn't reflect on the content and methods of SpEd but I'm having a VERY difficult time separating the two.

I'm trying to figure out the best way to get where I want and need to be after I graduate. I know I need something to set me apart from all the other secondary english teachers looking for jobs but I'm not sure if SpEd is the way to go...for me. Then again...maybe I just need some time away from it and it's really where I want to end up.

...BUT for now, I'm not going to worry about it. I'm just going to worry about sleeping in, finishing unpacking boxes and hanging pictures, spending time with my family and regaining a social life. I haven't had one of those in almost a year! I may have even forgot how that works...

Any who...here's to survival!!

My Wish List...

I have, very nearly, survived three straight semesters of grad school. I have moved into a new apartment, my birthday is coming up. Spring is trying desperately to take hold...I feel the need to celebrate. In the past several weeks I have spent the majority of my time not in class, on the computer. Whether it be working (like right now) or homeworking (that would be later), I am pretty tied to my computer as of late. That also means I've been doing some virtual window shopping...I'm not a homework machine, I need breaks... There is this website that my dear sister introduced me to and has resulted in hours of time well spent...aka, wasted/procrastinated. Go check it out and follow ME!

But all this window shopping and pinning has resulted in me wanting to buy...lots of buying. I have thus far refrained but with my celebratory frame of mind, it's proving difficult. What should I get? Cast your vote, my friends!

1. This dress, this dress, or this dress? or maybe this dress?

2. Or maybe this necklace?

3. or this gem?

4. Lisa calls these shoes ghetto...ghetto fabulous!

5. I have yet to find the perfect pair of yellow pumps but these just might tide me over until I do..

As you see...this is a very serious problem.

What do you think blogosphere? How should I celebrate the passing of another year?

Reality Check...

Last Thursday I was visiting my SPED elementary placement and I saw something that truly disturbed me. A, normally, very sweet 7 year old had a complete and total melt down. I am not unfamiliar with young children meltdowns, I have 8 nieces and nephews and have seen my fair share of meltdowns. And even by major, nuclear, meltdown standards...what I was observing was not anywhere near that level.

When I first walked into the room I noticed this little boy, let's call him Alex, was standing in a corner apart from the rest of the group. I could tell by the glares and muttering that he was having a difficult morning. He would occasionally kick the wall or stomp a bit more loudly but he wasn't screaming, yelling, throwing objects, a danger or a distraction to any of the other 5 kids in the classroom. After about ten minutes, the teacher took him to the Time Out Room. It's roughly the size of a large porta-potty (maybe a bit bigger). It has grey padded walls, a light in the ceiling and a door with a glass window. The latch is large and made of steel but had to be held in place.

Once Alex was forced into the Time Out Room and the door shut behind him (with the light still on) he immediately lost it. He started screaming to be let out and throwing himself against the door. I was asked to hold the door closed while the teacher went back to the rest of the class. After Alex had been in there for a few minutes he started screaming obscenities that no 7 year old should know. He also threatened to kill the everyone when he got out. At this point he was throwing himself against the door with so much force that it was bumping me off the door each time he hit it. Eventually he calmed down and was let out but the rest of the morning was a complete wash for him. He wasn't in a place mentally or emotionally to learn and he lost all of his privileges for the day so he only felt worse. I'm not saying there shouldn't have been consequences for his actions but it seemed his actions didn't escalate until he was put into the Time Out Room.

This incident disturbed me on several levels:

1- As this child was screaming, yelling, and throwing himself at the walls, none of the other adults even blinked an eye. It didn't phase them. Somehow I don't think anyone should get used to a 7 year old saying "You F****in A****le!"

2- The punishment seemed disproportionate to the infraction. He didn't have a serious behavior problem until after he was put in the time out room.

3- Since when did we start putting young children in what amounts to no more than a padded cell as a means of disciplining them? What does that accomplish? Many of these kids come with a steamer trunk full of baggage and often there is a chemical component. However, I do think that some of this behavior is still learned. What are we telling them when we put them in seclusion like that? What are we telling other students?

4- There is something, deep down, about the idea of Time Out Rooms and restraints and other 'disciplinary' measures that seem wrong on basis of basic human rights.

I was so disturbed by it that I went and talked with my professor about it. In talking with her, the issue became even more appalling. What I saw it starting to become standard practice in many public school special education programs and many parents have no idea. I've been researching the issue more as part of a paper for class and what I've found is deeply disturbing.

Did you know that many states in the south, including Texas, parents have to sign a form saying teachers and administrators cannot use corporal punishment on their child?? It was a pretty big wake up call. What I saw in the classroom wasn't outright abuse but it made me intensely uncomfortable and if I were that child's parent, I would be very upset. But what goes on in public schools every day, without parent's knowledge is a frightening prospect. Google "Special Education Time Out Rooms" or "Special Education Seclusion and restraints" and you'll see what I mean.

Debbie Downer...

So I know I've been a bit...or a lot...of a debbie downer lately. I've been stressed and anxious and confused. I've been grumpy and generally unpleasant to be around. I'm sorry to one and all that I've snapped, grunted or ignored. In an effort to turn that frown upside down, here are the happy things that I have going on...

1. I was able to find another teacher at my elementary school that is willing and able to help me with my Assessment project. HUGE relief! She's even willing to work on the weekend at her home because she knows how hectic my weeks are.

2. I have roommates that have been kind and listened as I've grumbled, ranted, cried, hyperventilated, and procrastinated. They're wonderful.

3. Lisa has brought me lunch at work on Saturdays...granted, she's been borrowing my car so it's a bit of a trade off, but I appreciate it.

4. A member of my bishopric (leaders of an LDS congregation) has repeatedly offered to help organize help for when Lisa and I move in about three weeks. He's been so kind and generous.

5. It's official Hilda is no more. RIP Hilda. As if I didn't need one more thing to worry about. But my wonderful father has been looking for cars for me online and he's doing all the grunt work for me. I seriously don't know what I'd do if I had to worry about that too.

6. We've found an apartment to live in. And yes, it's stressful to think about packing and moving everything right now, it's good to know that I've got a place to go to AND a couple of weeks to get it all there.

7. I have a wonderful mother that has offered to help me pack, unpack and clean in relation to all the moving. I seriously have the best mother ever...seriously. She makes the stress of moving not quite so stressful.

School is stressful and I worry about getting it all done in the next month or so but I don't have the crushing, heart gripping anxiety that I've been experiencing. It's a lot but somehow it seems a bit more manageable. I am very blessed to have wonderful people in my life that put up with my crazy stressed out, goldfish brain memory, antics.

You all are wonderful.

Thoughts of a stressed out and slightly overwhelmed woman...

1- I have never appreciated a clean bedroom so much before and never has my personal space been quite so messy and cluttered for such an extended period of time.

2- After years of doing the on again off again diet/exercise thing, I've finally found something that works for me. It's called the Grad Student Diet. It involves lots of Diet Dr. Coke, at most 6 hours of sleep (more like 4), on average one meal a day (on week days, this may go up to two meals a day on weekends), and running all over town to school, work, and methods placements.

3- I have absolutely no doubt in my mind that this is what I want to do with the rest of my life.

4- I need to either constantly remind myself or have someone remind me that I have absolutely no doubt in my mind that this is what I want to do with the rest of my life.

5- I miss spending time with my friends and family.

6- Clean clothes are somewhat overrated

7- I know I don't want to teach in an elementary school and am leaning towards middle school but haven't completely ruled out high school.

8- I am slowly developing my own classroom management philosophy and it kind of feels good.

9- Diet Coke, Goldfish crackers (the original flavor) and crescent rolls....'nuff said.

10- I miss reading for the joy of it.

11- I am learning a whole new language of acronyms and educational jargon.

12- Spring break cannot come soon enough.

Oh what a day...

I need a little friendly advise, oh mighty blogosphere...

I had several...situations, we'll call them, arise this morning. All in all, it was a pretty good morning. I got some incredibly good feed back from a no nonsense, call it like it is, New Yorker professor, I nailed my lesson this morning, and I looked great when I ran into someone I haven't seen since high school. The balance of the day was great but...yeah.

I've posted previously about my program and some of the attitudes and people in the program. I struggle with this new cohort. A lot. There is a general attitude of pretentiousness and bitterness. On more than one occasion comments have been made that were insensitive and borderline offensive. There is a general attitude of self righteous arrogance. Most of it is directed towards the LDS Church and the resulting dominant culture. But there have also been comments made about Special Education students and culturally and linguistically diverse populations. It's been enough to get my blood boiling on more than one occasion or a frustration headache at their general insensitivity and sometimes blatant ignorance.

Today it reached new levels. I am actually considering going to the professor in question as well as the director of the program. We were presenting mini snippets of lessons just to have a sort of dry run before we get to the actual classrooms. Situation one. This girl is not my cup of tea. She's from Park City, drives an Audie her father bought for her. She giggles and laughs her way through difficult situations and hardly ever has anything constructive to contribute to any discussion. We were the first to arrive this morning and I'm getting ready for my lesson. She told me she is currently teaching at Park City High and an English TA had prepared a PowerPoint on Shakespeare that she decided to use for her assignment in this class. Through out the presentation it became blatantly obvious that she had not put the PowerPoint together and, most likely, had not even looked through it before getting up to present. Now, the lovely roommie told me that I should say something to the professor since Park City had no qualms telling me it wasn't her work. Part of me wants to but the other part feels bad...thoughts?

NOW...this one is a real winner. This particular student, lets call him Big Mouth Bass (BMB for short) has never been my favorite person and I rarely, if ever, agree with any statement that comes out of his mouth. Add in an obnoxious nickname that he insists going by and it's a win/win situation all around. During the course of his lesson on the Massacre of Wounded Knee and the Ghost Dance BMB referenced something incredibly sacred and personal to me, as a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, in a way that made it blatantly apparent he had no understanding or respect for what he was so casually discussing. I almost walked out of the room I was so offended. After his presentation the professor told him, he can't go there...ever. I almost said something at that point. Everyone in the class knows I'm LDS and they kept looking at me, as I was clearly upset. I was on the verge of saying something but didn't in the end because if I had it probably wouldn't have been very constructive and probably would have done more damage that good.

BMB has always had an attitude when it comes to members of the LDS Church. I don't know what his history is with the Church but it's apparent that something has happened. He is constantly making thinly veiled comments about the culture and the conservative values shared by most Latter Day Saints. I haven't gotten too up in arms and I've tried not to get too offended. For most people, it's just ignorance but BMB seems to take pleasure in saying some of these things and takes every opportunity to do so. He even went so far as to say it is the "conservative culture" (aka the influence of Mormons) that is causing Utah's rising high school drop out rate. (completely and utterly false. there are a multitude of reasons that will affect the drop out rate. conservatism, isn't really high on that list - but that will be saved for another time). He seems to think that conservative people of faith, members of the LDS church in particular, are simply brainwashed sheep that can't think for themselves. He has no respect for our beliefs or our ability to make our own decisions.He made a comment today in class to the effect of he needs to "dumb himself down" to teach 7th grade - an incredibly worrying attitude to have going into the teaching profession.

Here's my major concern, aside from being incredibly offended by this incident, BMB is going to be teaching many, many students that are LDS. He is going to be in a position of authority over these students. If he can't respect their belief system and if can't treat them with dignity, should he be teaching them at all? I have a serious concern about him in a classroom full of impressionable kids. I am 26, almost 27 years old. I can separate myself and my beliefs from the insensitive, inappropriate and often times, offensive comments he makes. But will a 12 year old be able to do that? He didn't even realize that what he had done was problematic. He won't mention that particular aspect of the LDS faith again but what off hand comments will he make in class? He didn't see how what he had said was different from teaching Utah History. Students will pick up on that. If he can't put his own prejudice aside, should he be in a classroom in an environment where many, if not most, of his students will be of the LDS faith? I'm not saying that's good or bad, I'm simply stating the reality of the demographics of Utah public schools in most, not all, areas. I do know one thing, I wouldn't want my hypothetical child or any of my nieces or nephews in his classroom.

So here's my question(s)...do I tell my professor about Park City and her PowerPoint?

What do I do about Big Mouth Bass? I need to go talk to my professor about something else, anyway. I may simply thank her for what she said to him and possibly mention my concerns. What do you all think? Should I say something or just let it go?

Focus, Kelly...Focus!

This has been a fairly busy week. A final on Monday, classes, haircut (love Frank), lesson plan portfolio, interview on Friday, date on Saturday, Patrick's Senior Recital on Sunday...

I'm sitting here trying to finish my lesson plan portfolio and I can only finish a small section before my brain says "Break time!" I'm trying to differentiate six different lesson plans for the process, product and content for an imaginary ELL and SPED student. Blah! It's easy enough but it's tedious and I find myself wanting to differentiate the entire lesson plan instead of just one section. I know, you all find this so fascinating. After next Friday, I will be done for the semester. Did you hear the choir of Angels singing? I know I sure did. It's been a rough semester and I can't even tell you why. The assignments and readings were more intense last semester but I think I just enjoyed it more. It just seemed more difficult to balance everything this semester...work, school, church, social life. Next semester isn't going to be any easier. I have class three days a week 3:30 - 7:20 and then I'll work 8 - 11pm most days with a long day on Tuesdays. I'll have some field work during the day and in between all that i'll have to finish homework and do all the other mundane tasks of life. Only two more years of this...woohoo!!

Enough of my complaining...life is good. I'm happy, if not a little stressed. I'm doing what I love and life is good.

This and that...

Today was a slightly frustrating day. In class this morning we were treated to a lecture on professional behavior because apparently this cohort is suffering from a lack of professionalism. Now, Westminster's Education department is fairly liberal as far as their educational philosophy is concerned, especially relative to the rest of the state. This fact tends to attract a certain type of student. We are outspoken, passionate, potential reforms, movers and shakers. There are also quite of few of the "Utah Haters". These are people that are not part of the cultural majority and are vocal in their frustrations/animosity towards the dominant Utah culture. Usually I don't let it get to me but today I was beyond irritated. The comment was made (in reference to professionalism in schools) that we are joining a conservative profession in a conservative state. A student added that could it possibly that conservatism that is causing the rising drop out rate of high school students?

Huh....? There are so many other factors that lead to high school drop out.

I struggle with this. The idea that 'liberal' people are more open minded and welcoming than conservative people. It's one of the great ironies of the label 'liberal'. Don't get me wrong, when it comes to educational philosophy and legislation, I think there needs to be some serious conversations and change but I don't think it's a problem unique to our conservative state.

It's like the class last year where everyone started railing against NCLB (No Child Left Behind). Is it flawed? yes. Is it punitive? yes. Do I think it needs to be tweaked, adjusted, changed? Absolutely. However...ranting and raving about it in a graduate class in a small liberal arts college in Salt Lake City, Utah, isn't going to change the federal legislation. It is the reality we are faced with as educators and it is better to figure out how to work within the confines of the regulations while trying to effect change.

It's a waste of time and energy to rail against the mountain. We need to be involved and vote responsibly but it's not going to change overnight and we need to know what the reality will be and how we can be effective teachers within that reality. The conservative nature of Utah is not going to change...Do I wish it wasn't quite so conservative, sure, but it is and I need to know what my reality is going to be as an educator.

I get frustrated when people act like they know better or are more enlightened than the masses that are simply blindly following dogma. It's disrespectful and it certainly is not professional.

Whew....that has been eating at me all day.

Too much...?

I have a tendency to want to take on the world and I load my plate up with all kinds of wonderful goodness. I see so many great opportunities and I just can't help but want to be a part of it all. A professor I had is involved with an educational outreach program through Westminster in India. It's a school for young girls that have been orphaned or abandoned by their families...right up my alley, right? I know, that's what I thought too. So I signed my name to the sheet of paper he passed around for those of us that would like more information. We've gotten occasional emails about meetings and such but I haven't been able to make it to one due to class/work conflicts.

I was also sitting in class last week and my professor started talking about all the endorsements Westminster offers. I was already planning on doing the Special Ed (SPED) endorsement which, as it turns out, isn't an endorsement but an additional license (K-12). As I've become more aware of what my reality is going to be as a teacher I thought it was also be a good idea to tack on an ELL (English Language Learners) endorsement...a lot of districts are actually requiring this now or are moving in that direction. My professor also mentioned Westminster offers a Reading endorsement. My brain automatically perks up and says, I can totally do that.

But...it doesn't stop there. Nope, not me. Why stop at only two endorsements and two license? That would just by silly, wouldn't it? Well, I thought so too. Which is why, when my professor told us that after completing one of the endorsements (any one) we'd only be a couple of credits away from a second Master's (MED - Masters in Education).

.......

For those of you who know me really well, you know where this is heading. Two Masters?? Suuuurrrre! Sign me up!

And yesterday in my intro to ELL/SPED class, I thought to myself, "self, wouldn't it be so great if you could speak Spanish...?"

...I don't think I've quite mastered the principles in Elder Oaks' talk