Saturday, February 7, 2009

For all the nay-sayers

A couple of weeks ago, at the behest of my father, I spoke with a family friend that has quite a bit of experience in higher education. After speaking with him I was very deflated and confused and questioning all my plans and interests. And then, I didn't get into U of Cincinnati. I wasn't crushed but I was upset. I doubted my plans even more. Was what our family friend told me true? I wondered if that was partly due to my research interest - the lives of Mormon women and how they fit/do they fit into the context of the feminist tradition. I've talked with many people about this, Mormons and non-Mormons alike, and most people (well, women actually) find it an interesting topic. In one conversation, a friend said the biggest hurdle between traditional (i would say stereotypical) feminism and LDS women is the simple fact that in the LDS culture and religion the idea of a patriarchal social and religious hierarchy wasn't a bad thing. And to a certain extent that's true. I think the LDS version of patriarchy is different, at least as I understand it, from what main stream society and feminism understands. It's such an interesting idea. Can a woman be a part of a patriarchal system....not only be a part of but support and sustain the patriarchal hierarchy and still be a feminist? I think so but I know many people, on both sides of the issue, don't agree.

Anyway, that's just a huge tangent...let's just get back to my main point. So I was doubting and second guessing myself and wondering, what in the world am I going to do??? Then out of the blue - validation. I was looking up some information on the Sarah Lawrence website for my application and I was looking over the list of past MA Theses topics and what do you think is on the top of the list for the graduating class of 2008? By a Ms. Caroline Bitter Evolution into Self: A Mormon Woman's Struggle to Reconcile Radical Feminism and Religion. Um...hello? I know many people, and I hate to say it - men, don't understand why I'm interested in this. My father once asked me if I actually thought people would be interested in this topic - if I could find a program that could and would support it. This just proves to me that I can do this! I'm not strange and weird and the only one that has gone through this. Reading that was like a gift. It told me not to get swayed but the many different opinions that are being pushed on me. I need to stand firm. This is something that I have been thinking about for three years. Three years! I can and will do this.

watch....now I won't get into Sarah Lawrence....knock on wood!

3 comments:

In The Doghouse said...

You go girl... there are many strong women in the Church who could be considered feminist, but still support a patriarchal order. It come from understanding by both genders...And, yes there are many who would be interested in seeing this discussed and studied.

Annie Jarman said...

Um, I'm sorry but I'm still laughing at her name. Not that she is, in fact, bitter or that you or any other Mormon Feminist (I consider myself one) is bitter, but it is just oh so perfect. Ha ha!

Kelly said...

I know. I laughed about that for a while too.